Sanctuary
by Lee Audrey
Summary: In a world where All Might was long dead, Midoriya Izuku took a path of being a super-villain, while Bakugo Katsumi strives to be the number one hero. Villain!Deku x Fem!Bakugo
1. I'm a Mess

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki**

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**Summary:**

**In a world where All Might was long dead, Midoriya Izuku took a path of being a super-villain, while Bakugo Katsumi strives to be the number one hero.**

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**Chapter 1: I'm a Mess**

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**#Katsumi's POV**

Do you know what supernova is? If you just type it on Google, it will direct you to a definition from Wikipedia, that says, 'a supernova is a powerful and luminous stellar explosion. At its peak brightness, the optical luminosity of a supernova can be comparable to that of an entire galaxy, before fading over several weeks or months.'

And he called me that. A supernova.

We were just two 6th graders at that time. Izuku showed me an encyclopedia he just bought with his stupidly bright smile on his freckled face and gave me a complete explanation of what supernova is and, due to how fast he spoke, I only grasped not even half of it.

At those time, I remembered I pushed his face away and shout, "What the hell, Deku?! Slow down!"

But he just repeated the same sentences he already said from the beginning with the same velocity, "I finally found your hero name!" and mumbled, "That's only if you want to be a hero, of course. Cause I think villains are pretty cool too. But you definitely more suited to be a hero, Kacchan! You are so cool and your quirk just like 'woosh!' and 'boom!'" and suddenly he looked at me, wide-eyed, "like a supernova. You are a supernova, Kacchan."

What my reaction was? I raised my eyebrow high above for a couple of seconds, and then slapped him on the face.

"Stop saying nonsense, you stupid nerd."

"But you _are_ supernova! Look!" He showed me his book on a whole two pages that shows a gigantic blast in the void of space. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

And then his green big eyes stared at me, and the next thing I remembered was my foot kicked his knees, and I ran home.

Years later, his words still ringing in my heads. But instead made me flustered like it used to be, now it makes me feel miserable. Question like, '_Am I deserved that name?_' makes me doubt everything. My reflection in the mirror are far from 'beautiful' as long as I still have habits of smoking and drinking until dawn to swallow my unrealistic sorrow, and my quirk, even though just like he described, but it also backfire me in some way—makes me unable to use it so often or I will die, or someone will. Makes me… a dis-functional pro-hero.

Supernova. I took that name to be my hero name ever since my first day as a pro-hero, after years and years thinking other possibilities from the beginning of my high school days. But none matched. Then his words stormed again, made my headaches for a while, and I gave up. _'Fine. Supernova it is.'_

I just couldn't shake his shadow off of my mind whenever I'm thinking about my quirk. We live close to each other. Our parents practically high-school friends. As long as my memory goes, I always found him, either beside me as one of the main characters in my life, or just on the corner of my mind. He was there when I took my first steps. He was there when I could spell my first word. And he was also there when I discovered my quirk.

When we were in kinder garden, our class used to keep some cats. We used to play with them on our breaks. One time, one of our cats got pregnant. I'm amazed because my mom told me that pregnant means you carry another life in you, and being a stupidly curious child I am, I tried to pet the cat's belly but it suddenly scratched and bit me. I was surprised and scared. But before I could shout, my hand reacted first and suddenly a great laser-like power came out and hit the cat. I mean, pierced through the cat, and made it exploded to thousand pieces. Blood, flesh, bones, and any other internal organs that I didn't know was all over my body.

I froze. I panicked but didn't really know what just happened. My hand felt like burning but I couldn't make other reaction before Izuku came and held my hands, both, looked me in the eyes, and said innocently, "Kacchan, are you okay?"

In the midst of panic and guilt over the cat, its fetus, the entire class, and the teacher, he doesn't mention any of them, and instead, asked for my condition.

I cried. So loudly my throat got sore for days. He holds my hands until my parents came to pick me up.

I took a few days off because my parents brought me to the hospital so they can analyze my quirk. When I got back to kindergarten, all the kids were treated me like a nuclear bomb, even the teachers also looked at me with fear and disgusted. But Izuku, even though he has the whole class as his friends, could forsake them whenever he saw me sat alone in the corner.

At first, I was pissed. I didn't want anybody to pity me just because everybody fears me. So I would raise my hand to hit him, but then I stopped, my hand shook, and without I realized, tears already flowed down my cheeks. Then Izuku will definitely hold my hands, both, and sat before me.

Just sat. Sat and stare at me crying.

Years passed and those actions became his habit. He would run to me immediately, hold my hands, and stare at my eyes whenever he thought I was feeling down. And around our third year in elementary school, he would do all that plus placing his forehead on mine, and gently said, "It's okay now, Kacchan. I am here."

In the beginning, his action was shooting. I feel like I could make the whole world my enemy and still could win and feel content as long as he besides me. And the world _indeed_ became my enemy.

Because of my quirk that could explodes anything into pieces, nobody dares to approach me. They scared I would kill them even if I don't mean to, and they were right. I couldn't handle my power well back then. So I always ended up alone. Didn't socialize, didn't talk, not even smile. People then started calling me names behind my back, but I didn't care because Izuku always puts me first before everything—he would abandon a promise to play soccer with the boys from our class just to going home together with me; would shares chocolates he got from the girls on valentine days with me and would talk back to people that bad-mouthing me even if I told him to leave them alone. But, no. Just being as stubborn as he always has, he stood up for me every time.

His reaction made him hated too. People grew farther from me every day, and now, from him too. He acted like he didn't care—like anything doesn't matter as long as we have each other—but I know it _does_ matter for him.

He would occasionally stare into emptiness whenever he thought I didn't realize. And then put his over-brightly smile when he noticed me staring. And it hurts me to see him hurts.

From then on, after school, we always sneaked up to the hill behind our houses until the sky turns gold. We played hide-and-seek, pretending we were little Indiana Jones that just found an ancient temple full of treasure, built a secret base with a tent he immediately bought after I said I want to take a nap while staring at the sky and the trees, slept next to each other or playing heroes as All Might and the victim—we always switched the roles, but most of the time, I'm the one who plays as All Might just because I already had my quirk while he's doesn't. But the truth was, I just want to have a chance to be able to protect him.

And being as dense as I am, I just realized that shit just recently, years after those happy moments ended.

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There absolutely no happiness right here at this moment.

Everybody wears blacks from head to toe. They sat on long benches lined up tidily filling the prayer room in a church just outside the city. Their heads were held down all the time while the Father, mayor, and closest people from the dead gave their speeches. And I was among them—wearing my one and only black dress which also my mother's, sat between my best friends on the middle-line bench. On my left, Kaminari has been crying ever since he woke up this morning until this second, and on my right, Kirishima hold his tears as best as he could with his usual thought act—but he can't deceive my eyes with those shaking lips and watery eyes. On both of their hands, each of them hold a photograph of Mina and Sero—the other ones in our gang, who ironically couldn't become our usual cheerleader anymore even though we need them the most right now.

Then suddenly the Father called my name. Both best friends that I have left looked at me in surprised. I already told them I will give a speech on behalf of Mina and Sero's family, who, sadly, were gone way before they did. But I bet they just don't really pay attention, like they didn't notice anything except their own grieves. Anyway, I stood up and walked to the stage with my usual stoic face.

Some people surprised to see my face just as clear as the sky in winter day. They wondering why such a heartless person, who show no sign of grieve on her face, is about to give her speech for a tragedy that took over a hundred lives. Nonetheless, I open the paper that I held nervously since the beginning of the ceremony, and took a deep breath.

"Where would we be without tomorrows? What we'd have instead would be today. And if that was the case, with you, I'd hope for the longest day for today. I'd fill today with you, doing everything I've ever loved. I'd laugh, I'd walk, I'd listen and learn, I'd love, I'd love, I'd love. I'd make every day today and spend them all with you, and I'd never worry about tomorrow when I wouldn't be with you. And when that dreaded tomorrow comes for us, please know that I didn't want to leave you, or be left behind, that every single moment spent with you were the best times in my life."

I closed my paper and then my eyes. I breathed. When I open them, my eyes went straight to Kirishima who also gave me the most emotional look I have ever seen appears on his face. That was meant to be his marriage vow with Mina, the one that he practiced over and over in front of me just in case he would slip his tongue on the altar. Yes, I stole it, knowing that he would never need it anymore—but heck, he also got it from a novel that she loves. But nevertheless, I knew he was mad at me.

I walked down the stage and back to sit between him and Kaminari, who now crying even louder. The electric boy loves our gang the most, and I knew that. I love them the same way he does. But Kirishima's love for Mina was different. It was bigger, greater, deeper. The ones that couldn't be replaced just because one of them went out of another one's sight. Their love was what makes me believe in romantic movies, the ideas of one-true love, and started to wonder how Romeo feels when he heard that Juliette was dead. A love that I can only relate if I pushed my mind to bring up a person's figure, and that person only. But I just can't go there yet. What's on my mind could wait, but right now, my friends were the ones that need me the most.

I reached out my arm to hug Kaminari and place his head on my shoulder, while my right hand reach for Kirishima's left hand that was clutching Mina's photograph, and hold it real tight. He forgave me. I knew it because he held my hand back, as strong until I could feel his engagement ring pressed painfully to my finger bones.

And then I heard him sobbing. Slowly became louder and louder. And I realized my tears were flowing.

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-:-

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"You need to sleep."

I looked up and I found Kirishima, hair down, with a glass of whisky in his hand, slowly sat beside me. The usually narrow balcony we used to sat together to watch the city lights and talking nonsense, all five of us, now felt so spacious with just me and him. Kaminari was in his room, locking himself ever since the funeral, and we got a silent agreement to give him some space. I turned my eyes back to the stars behind the city's polluted sky, sipped my cheap beer a little, and said, "I already had enough."

"Three days ago."

"I can't sleep, shitty hair. Just let me be."

He turned his head around—maybe also realizes the strange sense of coldness in a house we rent together, the five of us. Now everything feels empty and quiet. Usually around this time, Mina would watch her favorite TV shows with Kaminari commentating every decisions that each of the characters made, and they would ended up in heated stupid arguments over small things. Sero would sat with them, always between those two, and became a neutral opinion who just and fair—even though would laugh uncontrollable if something they said was too mind-blowingly funny. Kirishima would definitely joined them after his daily work-out, makes the laughter even louder sometimes I worried our neighbors will kick our door and went rampage. And I would be in the kitchen, making the dinner while secretly stole a sip or two from Kaminari's high-end wine he got from his boyfriend.

Now all of that already became a memory even though I could still saw their shadows on every corner of the room. Maybe Kirishima also had the same thought, because he took another sip and started sobbing again behind a deep sigh.

None of us could sleep, even for the usual fast-sleeper Kaminari. None of us could pass a minute with our eyes closed without seeing the hideous tragedy that took Mina and Sero's life, over and over again, we're starting to fear the darkness. It always send shivers down my spines, and aches deep in my chest.

Kirishima spoke, "Have you wondering 'what ifs'?"

"What do you mean?"

He paused and shrugged his shoulders a little. "You know, possibilities."

"Like what?"

"Like, 'what is something was went another way?' that kinda thing." He drank his whiskey again, then continued, "'what if I was closer to them?' 'what if I knew what would happen?', 'what if I could tell them to not take the mission?', 'what if I could kill those motherfucker villains before they could do anything, would they still be alive?', 'what if—'"

"NO!" I cut him, loud and clear. "I never thought about that. What happened was just happened. No one can undo the past."

"So you just fine with what happened?" He raised his voice a little.

"Of course not!" And so did I, a little too much, unconsciously. "You think I could brush it off like it's not a big deal at all? You think I could forget about them just like anybody else when every corner of this fucking house packed with their goddamn things? I CAN'T, you know! Just if you're not aware of, I still have a fucking heart! It aches too, goddamnit, it hurts like a bitch! It's just what's done is done! You can't get your fiancée back no matter how much you think about those fucking stupid 'what ifs'!"

"KATSUMI!" The glass Kirishima was holding now smashed on the ground with a wrecked sound that sounds like thunder in my ears because he stood up suddenly and roared my name before he threw it to the floor. He stared at me with his deadliest look, hands clutches ready to kill me. He opened his mouth to say something but then hesitated because I guess what would come after were not really appropriate for him to say.

I'm about to say something that probably could started a real fight between us, but then I saw Kaminari from the corner of my eyes and I turned. The poor boy just stand there with both eyes swelled and damp, mouth and hands shaking so great he couldn't even say something loud enough to hear for the first couple attempts. And finally, when we haven't reacted, he cried, "Stop it… stop it, you two! Please don't fight. You know I'm alone can't stop you now." And before we could say anything, he stormed through the hallway to the front door, leaving the door with a loud bang that pierced my heart once again.

I immediately ran after him and shouted his name, but stopped in front of the house because he was already running for dear life.

I stood in disbelieve, hands pulling my hair in distress, thinking what I should do to make everything better even though I know no proper answer will come out anytime soon. And then Kirishima just passed me by with his shoulder hit over mine so hard I almost fall on my knees. Before I could stop anything to happen again, he rode his motorcycle, and took off.

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-:-

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It's been three days and I haven't heard a word from Kirishima. He always turned his phone off on emergency situations. And for this time, it's his heart and mind that were in an emergency.

On the other hand, I succeeded to know Kaminari's whereabout from just the first trial.

"Yeah, he's with me," said the voice over the phone, Shinsou's, Kaminari's boyfriend. "You don't need to worry. I'm taking a good care of him."

"You better will." It didn't came as nice as I intended to, but I'm genuinely relieved. "How…" I swallowed hard, unconsciously biting my thumb's nail like it could reduce my guilt. "How is he?"

"He's fine. A little emotional but he's getting there." I leave the conversation empty quite long to search for a proper sentence to say, but I couldn't. Instead I bit my nail harder and even my finger. "How about you?" he said, maybe also feeling awkward from the silence.

But that simple question really surprised me. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Wha—? Yes, of course." I never thought he would asked about me so it took me some time to process.

"But you don't sound so."

"Shut up. You don't know a shit about me."

"Indeed. But I know when someone needs help."

"I'm not."

"You're wounded. It's not physical. That's why you wouldn't admit it."

"Just shut up."

"Listen, Bakugou, I don't really know you and I don't have any intention to. But you are a precious friend of Denki and so I respect you. And just so you know, I wouldn't let him back to that house before you get your shit together."

I pulled my long hair hard, try to calm down. "I _am_ trying."

"But you're not done yet. We both know that."

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"See a professional. Psychologist, therapist, doctor? Someone that understand. I happen to know some. They're good."

"I don't need another person to know how fucked up my life is." Especially the ones that I didn't know personally.

"But you need to short it out together before you could accept someone else's fucked up life. And you can't do it alone. I want to help but I guess you don't want it so I offering you the alternative."

I stayed away from the phone for a bit and took a deep breath. '_Oh, for heaven's sake_.' I hate it when someone pointed out something that I already aware of but would never admit to.

"Get your nose away from someone else's business, weird hair," I said, unintentionally with higher tones, again. I took a moment to compose myself by trying to breathing properly. "Just…" I didn't know why but I always found it hard to speak the ones on my mind. I just hope he will understand. "Just don't screw him up more than he already is, got 'cha?!" I said, this time I swear I tried so hard not to get high pitch.

"I can't promise I'm not gonna screw him on the bed when he's living under my roof—but, of course. I'll take care of him."

"Argh, you made my headaches harder, damnit!"

He laughed. "You're welcome."

The conversation was about to end. But I hold it a little bit longer and I feel like Shinsou could senses it too.

With a short exhale from my breath, I quickly added, "Thank you."

And seems like he was more surprised than I did. "For?

"Taking care of the goofball. And the tips."

"Sure." It's kind of weird but I can see him smiling. "Anytime."

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I broke a glass.

I know it's not really a big deal—I mean, I've broke some of my bones before, and some of the other people's—but I never, ever, so fucking clumsy that a glass slipped through my hand and broke. So I just sat and stare blankly at the shattered glass around a chair I was sitting on, didn't really know am I processing things or just found a perfect excuse to escape from reality even just for a while. The reality that, after I spoke with Shinsou this afternoon, I went out to my agency's office just to check on the condition or any latest news, but apparently there was a press conference just outside the building and every eyes and lens were immediately pointed at me the moment my boss, Best Jeanist, saw me coming and suddenly called out my hero name.

That instant I ran like crazy. Just saw a sea of people coming at me like an armies of savages that gonna ambush a castle made it hard for me to breath and scared the hell out of me. I ran and ran for more than an hour, took a lot of small alley-ways, and finally I could took my breath properly after I sneak to an underground bar when I was sure no camera following me.

I'm so not ready for questions. And I fucking hate media. They could exaggerate and belittling the same topic just as they pleased while also ignored the most important thing at the same time.

A guy who sat on a table behind me immediately on his knees to picking up the shattered glass. "Oh my God. Miss, are you okay?" he said, panic in his voice, eyes switching from the floor to me repeatedly, but I didn't really notice. "Are you hurt anywhere? Are you sober? Do you need anything? Water, perhaps? Are you—ouch!" a small shout escaped his mouth as he cuts his finger with a glass's pointy ends. His blood was flowing to the floor, brought a sudden memory about what happened in the tragedy that killed Sero and Mina where bloods were everywhere, cries and screams echoed through the sky, and suddenly, I saw their body, in a pool of their own blood. The memory then snapped me back to reality.

"Oh, shit!" I shouted, literally jumped from my chair to join him on the floor. "Holy shit! I'm so fucking sorry. Were you hurt because of me? Fuck! Wait, I think I'm bringing a bandage."

"It's okay, Miss!" He tried to hide his hand, which already full of scars, in his long light-brown coat's pocket that looks incredibly expensive. "I'm fine. It's just a scratch."

"A scratch? Your blood was dripping like a fountain! No fucking way you're just 'fine'!" I shouted at him, grabbed his wounded hand unconsciously, and that's the very first time I looked at his face and noticed something utterly impossible to be true.

"….Deku?"

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**-:-**

**TO BE CONTINUE**

Hi, I'm Lee Audrey. It's my first story in English, so just forgive me if you found some sentences a little off. But feel free to correct me. I want to learn.

This is a story in an alternate universe, where Deku never met All Might and Bakugou not really proud of her quirk. I also don't really know if I should turn another character to gender-bend because I haven't really finished with the story plot-line too. The point is, in here, all characters are the most opposite of themselves—the part that they would definitely avoided in the original story-line. Like, the proud and all-mighty Bakugou, now just a woman with low self-esteem and mental health issues. What were happened to her will be explained in other chapters.

A little character's trivia:

**Bakugou Katsumi (Supernova)**

· Female / 179 cm / 60 kg / 27 y.o / tsundere

· Long blonde hair

· Sharp red eyes

· Quirk: Foton blast

· Occupation: pro-hero (temporary hiatus)

· Family: father (died), mother (prostitute)

· Economy: fucking low

· Favorite things: bomber jacket, sneakers, cap, dog, salty food

· Hobby: mountain and wall climbing

· Bad habits: smoking and drinking

· Coping mechanism: fly somewhere far away randomly, yoga, extreme sports without safety equipment (because she's fucking poor)

· Emotion: fucked up and depressed, but trying her best to keep her shit together; gets emotional easily

· Personality: cynic, but rather chill. Only gone mad in front of people she really trusts to let her emotions out

· Trivia: doesn't know how to dress like a woman, so she always follows male's fashion trend instead; has a legal license as a sniper; actually has a good voice


	2. I'm a Sucker for You

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki**

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**Summary:**

**In a world where All Might was long dead, Midoriya Izuku took a path of being a super-villain, while Bakugo Katsumi strives to be the number one hero.**

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**Chapter 2: I'm a Sucker for You**

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**#Izuku's POV**

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Supernova, I called her that. And to my surprise, she remembered it and made it her pro-hero name despite all these years we spent apart. Not that I didn't want that—I fucking pray every day that even if she would never use that, at least she remembers, and now, she does. Nothing makes me any happier.

I was on Berlin that time, tried to enjoy my first decent meal for the first time in like, what, a week?—in the nearest fast-food restaurant near the city library, after Shigaraki kept terrorized my phone to reminded me to eat. To shut him out, I even took a selfie with my big-size burger and sent it to him. That's when the TV showed a news about a rookie pro-hero that saved dozens of lives in an earthquake accident in South-East area of Japan, alone, and I immediately stopped whatever I was doing. She glows, she flew, and she destroyed an enormous building with one blast from her quirk to saved poor citizens that were entrapped beneath. Later, the news shows her close-up photograph and then a quick interview in Japanese where a reporter asked her what they should be addressed her, and she answered with a quick, strong reply, "Supernova. Call me Supernova."

And that's it. My world moved again, after a long ass month when I locked myself up in libraries all across the country, just so I could calm my mind down while avoiding everyone. The grayish days suddenly ended, replaced with a world that technicolor, fully filled with the images of her blonde hair, her ruby eyes, her stoic face—_her_. For the first time in a long while, I didn't feel intimidated by the sun that shines stupidly bright, or even pissed with anybody when I went back to the headquarter. I let them do anything they needed to do to my body—no, if I can remember correctly, I'm the one who asked them. I asked them to finish the surgeries, the experiments, and whatever shits that follows, just so I can get done with them and came back to Japan as soon as possible.

It did take some years, but finally, I was finished and ready. I immediately took the first flight back to Japan from Spain—because we moved a lot when we were in Europe—and here I am, days later, staring at those ruby eyes I didn't know I would miss so much.

She still as stunning as ever, even though dark circles hanging beneath her eyes, raw and somehow damp, those rubies still as beautiful as what I always remembered. Her face gotten sharper and thinner, her hair got longer and thicker, but nothing changed much—well, except for her fashion sense that got braver to tells the world that she doesn't give a single fuck, with a bright orange bomber jacket, light-blue ripped-skinny-jeans, white sneakers, and a white t-shirt that says 'F*CK OFF'. With her so close to me, her voice called a name that only she that I can allow saying, I'm wondering am I still dreaming or trapped in another of my routine daydreams.

"…Kacchan?" I replied to her after a moment that maybe last longer than I expected. "Is it really you, Kacchan?"

She tossed away my hand that she held, and stand up. "I'm the one who supposed to say that, you fucking nerd! Are you really Deku? Wait, maybe I'm hallucinating! Fuck!" Then she turned around while grabbed her hair tight. "I should've listened to the weird hair!"

It shocked me to see her shocker than I am, but I can't lose her anymore, so I grabbed her arm and made her looked at me. "No, you were right! I'm your Deku, Midoriya Izuku!"

She immediately stares at me in disgust. "My what?"

And embarrassment suddenly filled me. "No, I mean, yes, I'm Deku! And you're Kacchan, right? Bakugou Katsumi?"

Again, she snapped her arm away from my hand. "It came out weird when you're the one who said that, Deku. Just use the usual."

"Kacchan!" I never expected her to say that, so happiness and longing filled me and I unconsciously spread my hands so wide to hug her tight. But she dodged it in light-speed movement and also repelled my arms and stopped a fist right in front of my nose. Her fist was glowing for a second, emitting heat that felt like burning my skin. The next thing I knew, I took a step back, raise my hand as a gesture of peace, and froze.

That's the most intense two-seconds of my life. And maybe hers too because she took a few deep breaths before back to her usual gesture.

"Sorry, it's been a habit. I've been to a lot of places and, you know, they seem to have different ways of greeting someone than Japanese does. I kinda forgot."

She lowered her guard a bit. "Sure," she said, tried to seem like doesn't really mind. "So, your hand?" She pointed at my right hand, the one that is cut from the shattered glass.

"I told you it's fine." I showed her my palm, and by this moment, the blood already stopped flowing. "I've used being cut, anyway."

But that doesn't seem to impress her. Instead, she looks disgusted. "Weird."

And I just can giggle. "You think so?" At a corner of my heart, I'm glad she doesn't change so much.

She studied me with her sharp eyes for a while, then went back on her knees to gathers the glasses. "You didn't change much, nerd."

"Really? Then I'm glad if you think so." And I laugh again, followed her on my knees. "Let me help you with that."

She immediately slapped my hand. "Fuck off. I don't need it." Her voice was sharper and deeper, and I knew I can't argue with that one.

"Fine," I said, back to my feet. "At least let me treat you to a drink. Or some."

"I said fuck off, nerd. I can pay for my own shit."

"Just think of this as my apology cause I didn't bring you any souvenir, okay?"

She stood up with the glasses on her hand, then carefully walked to the nearest trash-bin to throw them. When she got back, her shoulders were more relaxed and she looked at me like she already had enough trouble. "And for stupidly cut your hand."

I couldn't bring myself to suppress a smile—it just came out like a dog running on the first sight of its owner. "Yes. And for being fuckingly stupid and cut my hand. Hence, I am terribly sorry, Ma'am," I said, in British-accent English and a deep bow with one hand on my chest and the other behind my back. She burst in laugh—a loud, free laugh. She laughed like it was the first time in a while she could laugh like that. Her laugh was contagious and I can't help myself again but laugh as loud we were being stared at by other costumers. But hell, like I care. And she absolutely not too.

When we were a bit calmer, we sat on the bar's chairs, side to side. I called the bartender and asked for two glasses of tequila and also informed him about the broken glass and the spilled drink on the floor. Kacchan seems about to throw a fit when I said I'm the one who's going to pay the compensation too, but I stopped her before she could say anything by shoving my palm to her face.

She immediately slapped my hand. "Still a fucking fancy-pants, I see," she said, leaning to the bar casually while eyes still on me. The trace of laughter was still on her face.

"Still a damn arrogant bitch, aren't 'cha?" I replied, now with a country-American accent so thick she blasted another laugh. And I swear to God I could make them my alarm sound because she has the most beautiful laughing voice on Earth I wouldn't dare to miss a second.

And then our drinks came. We had a shot before she continued our conversation with something that I guess would be another silliness. But apparently not really. "Where did you learn those shits? Don't say Game of Thrones or Stranger Things. I'll kill you."

I giggled. "Actually, it was Harry Potter and The Vampire Diaries, but well, you're not completely wrong." She burst another laugh. "But, really, I've told you I've been in a lot of places. A brief time here, a brief time there. You know, nomads." I shrugged my shoulders a little. She seemed to process those informations while sipping her drink again.

"For, like what, thirteen years?"

I drank mine. "Indeed. A bad number, isn't it? Grown-up a nomad," and immediately added, "minus riding on horses or herding cattle, of course." She laughed again. "I'm a fucking millennial, baby. I rode Harley-Davidson instead."

"Asshole," she said, between her laughter and her drink. "You can throw your 'Crazy Rich Asian' life on me and I would never fucking care."

"Oh, I believe that, baby. You were never that kinda girl." Again, with country-American, and she laughed again. Wow, I never knew it would be this easy and fun to make her happy. "And I like that," I added, softly.

She took that by surprise. Her face went red from ear to ear. "You—what?!"

"I like that part about you!" I said immediately, partly shouted, feeling heat started to takes over my face too. "You're different from all those girls I've met before."

She went silent for a while—somehow I knew the rose on her cheeks now solely because of the drink, not me anymore—then she ordered another drink but now the ones that five-times more expensive than what we just had. "So you've been with some women." She not asking, neither that I can detected jealousy in her voice. She just stated it like a matter of fact.

And somehow it made me guilty. I swallow my saliva in a single-big gulp then answered, "I _did_." I tried to make it clear that everything that I've done, everyone that I've been with, were already in the past. "How about you?" She looked at me with eyebrows rose. "No way a beauty like you never been with someone before. I mean, c'mon! You are even prettier than every woman I've met from all around the globe!" Soon as I said that, tried to lighten up the mood again, her eyes went elsewhere, just stare blankly at the series of sparkling bottles on bartender's shelf. I felt like I hit the wrong subject. "…aren't you?" I added, carefully, started to fearing my dear life.

She shrugged. "Nope. Not that I aware or acknowledge of. None."

And it strikes me like hell.

"Kacchan, were you… perhaps, you…" I tried to swallow my saliva again. But this time somehow was a lot harder. I could feel my sweats the size of corn seed running all over my body. "…is it possible that you… you're not waiting for me to come back, aren't you?"

And then she snapped. She crushed the glass in her hand and gave me the deadliest stare. Her hand illuminates again, and this time a lot brighter and hotter. "The fuck did you say?"

Ah, this is it. The Kacchan I always remember. The Kacchan that could send me shivers down my spines just because of her presence. The Kacchan that could make me squirm like a coward just by being stared at. The Kacchan that so arrogant she wouldn't care to take any way possible to destroy her enemies. The Kacchan that full of herself. _The Kacchan I fell in love with_.

"N-no, no! I mean—I…."

She stood up and grabbed me by the collar, pulling my face closer until our noses just one inch apart. Then she hissed, "No way in the fucking hell I was waiting for a fucking shit like you, nerd. You can perish from the face of the earth for all I care and I wouldn't even shed a tear," then tossed me back to my chair like throwing a garbage. "I have my reasons." She sat again on her chair, tried to grab her drink but then realized it was already smashed. A hint of embarrassment was shown on her face.

I swear I've tried very hard not to laugh. I hid my amusement by calling the bartender and asked for our bill and the glasses compensation. She stared at me wide-eyed.

"You've done?"

"Well, I don't know about you but I am. Do you still wanna stay here when you already broke two glasses?"

Those adorable roses were back on her cheeks. She stood up again and walked out of the bar, leaving me behind while I was dealing with the kind and old bartender who whispered at me after she was gone behind the door, "I see you got a strong-willed girlfriend right there, young man."

I laughed in embarrassment. "She's not yet my girlfriend, but indeed she's a wild one." And she always has. Even the first memory I have about her was when she slapped my face countless times with the intention of soothing me down. I was crying back then and we were not even a year old. Her slaps made me cry louder instead and she got panic. In the end, we cried together for hours.

Remembering them made me smile. The old man looked at me in a funny way a grandpa would when he knew his grandchild lying. "Hm. _Yet_," he said while dealing with the machine and my credit card.

And it made me more nervous. The heat came back to my face. "Just wish me luck, Sir. I _do_ fancy her."

He gave me a warm smile, the bill, and my credit card back. Then nodded. "Then just treat her like a queen."

"Oh, I'm gonna treat her like a goddess, Sir!"

I opened the door with glee and closed it behind me.

.

-:-

.

When I went out of the store, truth to be told, I didn't expect too much. If Kacchan decided to be, well, _Kacchan_, she would leave me with no hesitation and go straight home. But I guess she's not herself right now, or the old her that I knew already disappeared or just hiding somewhere, because when I climbed up the stairs and stood on the street, I could easily found her presence that stands out in the middle of Tokyo's suburb 2 A.M. darkness, leaning to the nearest street-sign while smoking the cheapest cigarette in Japan.

Found her waiting for me _and_ smoking, like a double shock-attack to me.

I walked slowly at her, hands on my coat's pockets. She saw me coming and somehow tried to hide her cigarette behind her back. I smiled for that gesture and decided to do the same to make her comfortable. I pulled out a cigarette from my inner-coat pocket and turned to her, "Hey, can you light it up?" I said, pointing to the cigarette that already between my lips just by a gesture.

She looked at me with a straight expression that I couldn't decipher, then put her cigarette on her lips and leaning closer to me. The burned end of her cigarette touched mine and after a few seconds, it lit. She pulled away, leaning back to the street sign and look at me again with those calm eyes. "There."

I froze. I fucking froze like a whole damn minute to process everything. First thing first, I never expected she would lit it in _that_ way! I mean, she could've just offered me her lighter or maybe her burning hand or just snapped at me to lit it with my own—but, no! Instead she's done something that I could only assume as she being so chill she doesn't take her guard up or just carelessly tempting me.

Whichever it was, I didn't mind. Instead it made me so happy I feel like I could jump to the moon.

"I didn't know you smoke," she said suddenly, eyes probably landed on my cigarette, trying to guess the brand.

"I didn't think _you_ smoke."

"What was that? A sexist comment?"

"Oh, so you're a feminist?"

She took the cigarette away and blew white smoke out. The smoke and her breath mixed in the chilly air, made me randomly think of a dragon. "Not really. But I hate it when people treat me differently just because of my sex."

I stared at her. "Were you?"

And she tilted her head a little—a part of her bangs covers one of her eyes, made her look cool, sexy, and totally gorgeous. "Some shits happened, you know. Well, not like you know anything about it. You were half a world away, whoring yourself through adulthood as I concern."

Her comment made me flustered and hot from embarrassment all of a sudden. "Firstly, I am _not_ whoring my adulthood. They were the ones who came at me like moths flying to the lights. And secondly, I spent my adulthood reading books and moving from place to place, and—"

"Whoring."

I stopped, stared at her, silently guessing how red my face was right now. "I am NOT."

"Not that you were aware of, I bet. You didn't want to receive any money because your father was a deadass sugar-daddy himself, right? But you still slept with them anyway, and I guess you're the one who ended up paying them. So how many was it? Dozens? Hundreds? Did you also sleep with men? You know, I'm just surprised that a hardcore nerd like you could become a gigolo."

"Kacchan, are you jealous?"

And suddenly her eyes were locked on mine, wide-eyed, face brightly red. "I'm _fucking_ NOT!"

I couldn't hide my giggles. "Yeah, convincing."

I thought she was going to throw another fit, like give me a real punch this time, or at least choke me so hard with her laser hands, but no. She just glared at me and then throw her bright-red face away. "Fuck you, stupid Deku."

'_Yeah, go ahead and fuck me.'_ I was about to say that but I know my life will end immediately, so I keeping that to another time. Instead, I found myself froze again by the deadly _tsundere_-cuteness she just showed me without even realizing it.

A sudden loud growl was the one that broke the awkward silence, so loud that at some point I was afraid it was a real lion. When I turned to her again, she hides her head further away from me with hands on her stomach.

"Ka—"

"Shut up."

"I just—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Only then she turned her head back at me, face like a fresh tomato.

"I was just about to treat you to a meal, or some. But since you told me to shut the fuck up, I guess that means you're not up to it." I shrugged and took a few steps back. "Well then, it's been a lovely night, Kacchan. I hope we can see each other again." I turned, I walked, and I wait for three seconds.

"Nerd!" There it was. I turned around and found her fast and wide pacing to me with her usual angry face. "Fine! You could treat me to _some_ meals!" She pointed her finger at me, our faces just inches away. "But I'm the one who decides the menu and you better not regret it, shitty Deku." Then she stormed ahead along the street.

I stared at her back and giggled. "Deal!"

.

.

-:-

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.

Thus, we spent the next few hours from one shop to another, mostly _izakayas_. Sometimes, we would sit for some moments while admiring the meals, sipping our drinks, or just casually chatting while appreciating the shop's warmth that slowly creeps to every inch of our skins. Another time, we would just order some take-out and eat-walk it along the streets to some benches, some parks, and we even went as far as a harbor. We smoked until we both run out of our cigarettes, we played some songs from our phones and sang along without trying to hold our voices, and finally, we just sat in comfortable silence on the edge of the harbor, ran out of topic to talks about or things to do, with two Starbuck's hot coffees between us, while waiting for the sunrise. We watched as the sky wonderfully turned from dark-purple to brighter, brighter, and brighter, and finally become the baby-blue one.

I sighed at the sight. It was totally gorgeous and I couldn't believe that I witnessed it with the girl I always had a crush on.

When I turned my head to see her, she was smiling softly, eyes fixed to the horizon. Her long golden hair was waving in gentle moves, her white skin glows, her hands were holding her body up on her sides. She looks one hundred times prettier than any pretty woman that any human could paint. But I bet she wouldn't like to hear that, so again, I keep it for later.

.

-:-

.

We part ways in front of the nearest station. At first, I insisted to walk her home, but she rejected it with a strong, clear argument that she could take fucking good care of herself. No one can argue with that and so I let it passed.

But before she walks away, I called out her name and thus made her wait for what I'm about to say. But I said nothing. Instead I leaned my head forwards, so close to her she panicked and immediately pulled out her hands that were on her bomber's pockets, and chocked my neck with both hands. Her height doesn't really different from mine, hence she could easily bring me on my toes.

I giggled even though I knew I would definitely meet my end if she decided to use her quirk, and raised both hands as a gesture of surrender. "I'm sorry. I just want to see you for the last time."

"That was too close, bastard." She released her hands and I took a step back. Her face was red again from ear to ear.

'_Did she thought I was going to kiss her?_' was what I thought. But again, I'm keeping it for later. "Haha, I'm sorry. So, see you again?"

She just replied with, "Hn," and turned around then walked again.

I did the same too, but suddenly she called my name, "Deku," and this time I'm the one who stopped and turned. When I did, a slap suddenly hit my left cheek. Even without her quirk, it still feels like burning. "Don't ever, _ever_, do that again, or you'll _fucking die_. Understood?" She gave me her deadliest glare, and while I stupidly mesmerized with those rubies, she slapped me again. This time from the right. "Bye." And then she was gone. For good.

.

.

-:-

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.

Her slaps still burning both my cheeks and made them blush so red I was looked like a virgin after his first time or maybe just a plain-usual drunker. And I could still feel her hands on my neck. She choked me so hard the sensations still linger and I loved that. I touched my cheeks and neck repeatedly, maybe now looked like a total pervert.

Everyone could stare at me as all I care as I leaned to a street-sign in front of a supermarket that just ten minutes away walking from the station. While I waited for the shop to open at 8 o'clock, which is around another 30 minutes, I hummed a song that she sang when we were walking side-by-side along the empty street and below the dim light—'Sanctuary' by Joji—over and over again. The tones just too ear-catching it became an ear-worm. And after I learned the lyrics, it turned out so beautiful I thought I'm going to obsessed with them. My waiting time turned out not so boring, so I just made my way through the entire store the second it was opened, with so much glee and still humming.

My first stop was the 'Shampoo and Body Soap' area where I was faced with a long row full of those products with so many brands for both women and men. At first, I stepped in front of the female's shampoo area, and then I realized I was in the wrong place.

The scent from Kacchan's shampoo indeed smells incredible, but it was nothing sweet like roses, lavenders, strawberries, or such. Rather, the scent was somehow cool and soothing. Like mint. '_Yes, mint!_' I feel like a bulb of light suddenly appeared above my head and shines brightly. I rushed to the men's shampoo area with small leaps here and there and picked the only product that she would definitely buy because of the affordable price and also the scent.

I did the same analysis for her conditioner, her soap, her toothpaste, her facewash, her laundry detergent, but not for her perfume. Actually, her scents were so vivid I have to be on a certain length just to be able to smell them, so she definitely doesn't wear any perfume or else I would notice.

When I was ready to pay them, the cashier attendant, and old, fat lady, doesn't put any suspicion on me. She would probably though I was only someone who just got his payment today so immediately rushed to buy my things before I spent it on something else because she gave me a business smile and so did I. After all, there was nothing I bought that was intended to women.

She told me the nominal I have to pay but before I pulled out my wallet, I noticed I missed something. "Um, can I have one of those cigarettes, please?" I said, pointing at the ones that Kaccchan's smoke. The cheapest one. The lady stared at me for a moment, probably wondering am I really a (high) salary-man or just a man dressed like one. I gave her another business smile and she fetched the cigarette real quick and added it to my bill. And she stated another nominal, I paid, said a simple "Thank you," and I walked out the store.

When I arrived at my condominium, the first things that I do was taking off all of my clothes, put them in the laundry, and took a nice bath with everything that I just bought. The smell of Kacchan's filled me so deeply I felt like I was high. When I was done, I came out from the bathroom just with a towel around my waist, hair dripping wet all over my body and the floor. I fetched Kacchan's cigarette, light it up, headed to my bedroom, turn on the light, played Joji's 'Sanctuary' from my laptop that shows a map of Yokohama—the district where the bar was—and admiring one of my masterpieces.

Her face. There is a collage of her face pinned all over one side of my walls, made by hundreds of her photographs that I arranged like a massive jigsaw. It has been my recent hobby to gather any news, photographs, or even paparazzi from all over the places. And I love it. I enjoyed it the most than any other thing that I've been tried to do to chase my boredom away.

Suddenly my phone rang. I didn't want it to ruin my mood so I let it reached the voice mail. Then I heard Shigaraki's husky voice. "Oi, big-head! We've got your prey for you. Be thankful! Now come down and get 'em!"

My day just became better and better.

Yes, idolizing Kacchan was my greatest way to find sanctuary inside my world. But there was no other pleasure than enjoys your job, right? And I love my job so much. It was the kind that would never make me bored. Something related to blood. Something that related with someone else's quirks. Something related with handcuffs, ropes, and dozens kind of knives. And something that requires me to eat.

I wasn't aware that I was grinning from ear to ear until I saw my own reflection in the mirror when I dressed up—messy green hair, black shirt with upper buttons opened, her marks all over my neck. My reflection seems so stupidly happy and I laughed at him. Then I took a deep breath from the cigarette, blow it in one exhale, and stare back at him.

"It is indeed the best day of my life."

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**-:-**

**TO BE CONTINUE**

Hi, hello! I'm Lee Audrey. How was Deku's point of view for you? Was it interesting?

Anyway, I didn't make a clear plot for this one—not like the others—because I just want myself to be surprised too by the flows of the story. So how do you think about the story so far?

FYI, the titles for this fiction and each chapters were all taken from song titles or song lyrics. Hence, they belong to their respective owners.

And here a little trivia about our baby boy, UwU.

**Midoriya Izuku (Skyfall)**

· Male / 185 cm / 70 kg / 27 y.o / yandere

· Short green curly hair with neat undercut

· Cynic dark-green eyes

· Quirk(s): _still classified_

· Occupation: doctor, engineer, villain

· Family: father (president of an international tech company), mother (died)

· Economy: crazy rich

· Favorite things: Katsumi, shoes, BDSM, knowledge, fried rice

· Hobby: read books (any kind), martial arts, experiment (with anything)

· Bad habits: torturing people for stress relieve (in any way possible)

· Coping mechanism: martial arts practice, playing piano

· Emotion: bipolar (calm, composed, and easy-going but could snapped at a second if he was triggered)

· Personality: a perfect psychopath who obsessed with Katsumi (so can only build emotional feeling for her and anything related to her)

· Trivia: never went to proper education institutes after middle school but his intelligence is equal to professor degree; spoke 10 languages fluently; quick learner and multi-talent

Next will be about Kirishima's POV, I guess? What do you think?


	3. i love you

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Kirishima Eijirou x Ashido Mina**

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**Summary of this chapter:**

Up all night on another red eye

I wish we never learned to fly

Maybe we should just try

To tell ourselves a good lie

I didn't mean to make you cry

Maybe won't you take it back

Say you were tryna make me laugh

And nothing has to change today

You didn't mean to say "I love you"

I love you and I don't want to

(Billie Eilish)

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**Chapter 3: i love you**

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**#Kirishima's POV**

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**Contains sex and OOCness**

It's has been three days since that incident, and I couldn't have a proper sleep ever since. Because her face was everywhere—in the television when I saw weather cast yesterday, in the newspaper that was thrown to garbage bin by someone this morning, in the kitchen when I about to take my whiskey, in front of me when I sat side by side with Katsumi by the veranda, in the corridor when Denki threw another tantrum and left the house. Honestly I didn't know if lack of sleep makes me saw things or because I was seeing things that I couldn't sleep.

I finally rode off from the house my friends and I share together, out of fear I couldn't keep my emotions in check and might hurt somebody. Because I was just nearly slammed a glass to Katsumi's face out of anger. And it terrifies me to become this unknown man that full of boiling lava inside his head.

So I rode my motorcycle off without any actual direction to where I was going, or even where I want to be. I just felt like escaping from reality and hope for the cold wind to numb every sense from my body.

Roads by roads, hours by hours passed by, thousands of street lights come and went by, but those simple wished don't come true. Instead, I could feel Mina's arms around me, tighter by every minute, as she hugs me like she always does whenever she joins me with my aimless trips every now and then. I could even feel her warmth on my back, her hair tickles on my neck, her head on my shoulder, her rose-scented perfume in the air.

It felt like she was here. But she wasn't.

When the night became colder and darker, I settled down in a bar somewhere just outside Kanto Region and ordered a glass of whiskey. But one apparently doesn't enough, obviously. So I ordered more and more, glass after glass, bottles after bottles, until finally, I could feel myself burning from the inside, and see Mina's hand on mine as she stopped me from taking another shot.

"No," she said. "Too much drinking makes you ugly."

I froze. Her images were too real this time I couldn't help but stare. "But I'm sad." My voice sounded cracks and terrible. I remembered I haven't had anything other than these whiskeys for today.

"Why?" she asked, tilting her head as she usually does. Her lovely pink face tried to put a smile, but it turned out so sad she seems to breaks some tears.

"Because…." Her other hand touches my face slowly, sent me a great comfortable feeling from my face that already burning. "…because… you're not here anymore…."

And her images got blurry, my cheeks feel cold suddenly by the running tears, and within seconds, she was gone.

"…you're not real anymore…."

And I was crying.

The more I cried, the more I drank to wash away the suffocating feeling inside my chest, but instead it made all the pain echoes even louder. But I was still drinking. Drank, drank, and drank, until I couldn't even feel my own head.

"Kirishima?"

I opened my eyes and I could see her again. She was sitting on a desk by the window. The room was bright by the afternoon sunshine and the white curtains behind her waves like wings of angels. Her hair short, her clothes were her uniform when we were still in UA High.

"Kirishima."

She reached out her hand and suddenly my body moved on their own to her. She touched my cheeks, caress it softly. Her lovely voice when she was young made a whisper when our foreheads touched, "Why are you crying?"

I closed my eyes, didn't know how to answer.

"Is something bad happened?"

I sealed my mouth.

But she puts her lips on mine. Soft and fragile. It surprised me and suddenly I opened my eyes. Tears flowing from her golden eyes. "I love you," she whispered. Her hands moved to my hair, my neck, my shoulders. And gradually, she hugs me. "Please take care of yourself. Get some sleep. Don't drink too much. Eat properly. Go home. I love you."

"No, but I—"

"Forget me."

I froze. "What did you say?"

"I helped you forget her before. So you have to look for someone else to help you forget me."

"What nonsense are you saying, Mina?!"

"I love you. I love you. Please forget me. Live on. I love you."

"No, but I can't—"

"Eijirou." She looked at me in the eyes, sad smile on her lips. "Let me go."

"What the fu—"

Suddenly the room went dark like someone pushed a button to turn off the sun. In the state of complete blindness, I tried to reach out to her again, but my hands just caught emptiness. Panic filled every inch of my nerves.

"Mina? Mina!"

I struggled to move my feet. I walked carefully, I ran fiercely. On the corner of my eyes, I could see a strand of light from below a pair of doors. I stood before them, wondering what I should do. Vaguely I could hear voices behind the doors.

"Where would we be without tomorrows? What we'd have instead would be today."

I felt like a lightning stroke me hard. That was my marriage vow!

I smashed the door open. On the other side of the room, in front a great mass of people sat on long benches in a church, Katsumi stood in her old-school black dress, read a paper she holds with shaky hands.

"And if that was the case, with you, I'd hope for the longest day for today. I'd fill today with you, doing everything I've ever loved. I'd laugh, I'd walk, I'd listen and learn, I'd love, I'd love, I'd love."

From behind her, a woman with a white wedding dress emerged. I immediately recognize her long pink hair just by the first look even though she braids them on one side.

"Mina!" I screamed. I ran. I tried to reach her as soon as possible and burry her in my arms, making sure she wouldn't disappear again.

But before I could even reach her, she vanished, right after she said, "I love you. Let me go."

I stare blankly at my hands that once again only caught the cold emptiness.

"I'd make every day today and spend them all with you, and I'd never worry about tomorrow when I wouldn't be with you."

Katsumi still reading my marriage vow with her usually stoic face, like nothing ever happened. From here, I could see her writing on the wrinkled paper—messy and had water stains in some places. She was crying when she wrote them down. And suddenly I could imagine how hard she cried the night before so she wouldn't shed any tear when she has to read them in front of losing loved ones.

"And when that dreaded tomorrow comes for us, please know that I didn't want to leave you, or be left behind, that every single moment spent with you were the best times in my life."

From where she stood, I could see myself in the middle row. I remembered the feeling I felt that day—it was grief and anger. But that's not the ones that I saw. I looked… hurt. And lonely. And afraid. And Katsumi exposed them with her speech. And suddenly I realized how fragile I really was.

"Kirishima?"

The next time I opened my eyes, a face with white hair stared at me intensely, perplexed.

"Dude, you're okay? The bartender told me you were crying all night and fell asleep like a log short after. Thank God this shop is my father's. Dude, you sober?"

I feel confused. "Tetsu Tetsu? Man, is that you?" The light from outside the windows were not being kind on my eyes—they pierced me like thousands of needles straight to the nerves. And Tetsu's figure was not enough to hide me from the sun's wicked smile that mocked me endlessly.

"Yeah, bro. Do you need water? That's a stupid question! Of course, you are! Let me—"

I grabbed his shoulder out of impulse. My head spinning like gravity doesn't exist anymore and my stomach felt like a volcano about to erupt.

"Where's the toilet?"

Tetsu Tetsu, my brother from another parent, awkwardly led me to the men's toilet and patiently stood outside the cabin as I threw up what I thought was everything that I ate this past week—which, not much. I could hear him calling someone to ask them for a glass of water. And after I got a little settled down, he offered it to me. I took it with an unexpectedly weak 'thank you'.

He stood there in awkward silence. From the way his body rigidly moved, I knew he was dying to say something. I gave him a stare as permission to open his mouth.

"I know you're sad. And it's also not a problem to drunk yourself to sleep. But I think that's not what your loved gone ones want you to do."

I laughed. I laughed even though it took me all energy I had left to do it. Mina's also said the same. And it somehow pissed me off to hear them from someone who knows nothing about the Abyss hole that I've been fallen into.

"Dude, I think you should go home."

I stood up even though my feet felt like noodles, and I have to drag them to even move an inch. I pushed Tetsu out of my way as hard as I could, hard enough to make him stumbled a few steps back, and walked out the toilet. "Thanks but no thanks." My voice was still hoarse like a creepy monster from a cheap horror movie.

'_Home'_, he said? I've been spending the first three days in a building that I used to call 'home' but nothing feels like it used to be. The building was just a large, empty house full of sick-sweet memories and haunted by Mina and Sero's shadows in every corner. After thinking back about it, I realized that maybe that house was cursed after countless hours of Kaminari crying his eyes out and hundreds of cigarettes Katsumi had burned. If I spent another second on that damned 'home', I'm afraid my own blood will taint the floor and make the curse even stronger.

I rode my motorcycle even further from Tokyo—anywhere, as far as possible, until their ghosts couldn't even touch my shadow. The sun accompanying me on my aimless journey, until she tires herself out and eventually decided to hides behind the horizon. Her absence also made me realized the aches in my bones. Again, I set in another bar, now doesn't even mind a girl's flirting eyes locked onto me from across the room. I noticed her intention right after I stepped through the door—her aura was so strong I couldn't help to stare back from the bar as she giggles shyly and intentionally tempted me with her gestures. After three glass of strong bourbon, and with loud music from the live-band covering my brain, my rationality locked out somewhere so the devil inside me finally could justify all actions I'm about to make, I walked to her as she led me to a small corridor. I cornered her, made her look at me, and I could see her red lips begging for mine. Her decision of the lipstick's color already sinful enough, so I gave them what they wanted.

The kiss was magnetic, her tongue like an electric eel that sent me a thousand volts of pleasure down my nerves, and her body just in a perfect balance of softness and firm. Her perfume scented like the gate of Nirvana, but her body was hot as Hell. Her touches burned me, made me sweat so bad I feel uncomfortable under my black shirt and a leather jacket. I just about to took them off, when she held off the kiss, and said, "Not here, loverboy. Let's look for a room."

She dragged me out to a motel just next to the bar. She was so stunningly gorgeous with her little red dress and silky jet-black hair, but every time I looked somewhere else, I couldn't help but noticed Mina standing in the corner with her angry yet sad eyes, begging me to stop. But my devil already got the best of me.

We got a room on the third floor, and along the way, I tried to steal a kiss or two even though she struggles in my arms and told me to have some patience. Her sentence made me pissed instead, and I finally got her lips again on mine just in front of our bedroom door. We kissed like sucking each's other souls even though we know they were already dead. When we reached the room, she threw me to the bed and started unbuckling my belt and sucking my dick until it was as hard as a log. It sent me to heaven yet boiled my blood. I took her clothes off and landed dozens of kisses on her entire body like a dog sniffing for a treasure.

"Stop it, Kirishima!"

I froze. The woman in my arms looked down on me with puzzled eyes in her big, sparkling, dark eyes, and said, "What's wrong?"

It was her voice—Mina. Again. "Nothing." I shrugged it off, decided that a ghost not worth my while anymore, and continued to explore her every inch as she took off my clothes for me.

"This is not what you want. Stop it, please."

A pink-skinned arms hug me from behind, a head full of pink fluffy hair landed on my shoulder. "Go home, Eijirou. Please." And I could hear a voice whispered right into my ears, made me froze again in a shiver.

I roared. "STOP IT!" The woman in my arms startled. In a flash second, I turned our position and pinned her to bed. Mina's shadow vanished from my back.

"I'm sorry, but I might be a little rough," I said that to her with heavy breathing as waves of anger and lust made me mad.

She smiles and replied, "No need to apologize. I like it rough."

I can't help but put on a smirk. "Perfect."

We kissed and explored each other's bodies and mated like animals. Over and over, from the moon shines so smugly until the sun's about to walk again. And each and every time, I still could see Mina's image, standing in awkward silence in the corner as we filled the room with moans and pants. She said nothing this time, not even tries to stop me. She just stood and look so miserable. And finally, after the unknown woman that I didn't even bother to ask the name left the room and I was lying defenselessly on the bed full of sweat and cum, staring at the ceilings with heavy breathing, she sat on the farthest side of the bed. She still said nothing, but I could hear her sobbing.

No—I could _imagine_ her sobbing.

And that's it. Just saw her tears for the first time in a while knocked my sanity back and stroke me with a cold and sharp reality—that I felt nothing. After hours of incredible sex, I just felt exhausted, but not content. Instead, the hole in my chest was getting wider, and the only thing I could feel was the cold breeze that flew through the hole whilst brought a sad song of Mina's cries.

When was the last time I felt like this? Oh yeah, it was years before I could even saw Mina as someone more than a friend. When we just hold hands to show off, or kissed to confirm our feeling doesn't improve even just a bit. But I also didn't remember when was those awkward kisses turned to be so passionate ones we always reluctant to let go from each other's arms.

Right. When was I started to like her? What have we done to be so head over heels for each other? It was so long ago I couldn't even remember.

And when I turned my head to ask her, she was already gone.

.

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-:-

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"I love you."

It was a new moon and the only thing that decorated the dark sky was a handful of stars far above us even though I intentionally chose the farthest hill from the city. But nonetheless, the dimness still made me able to stare at those golden pearls that gleam even brighter inside her black eyes. And also, the way she blushes which made her face even pink-er than ever.

"You never said that. Like, _ever_." She said that in a single breath between a nervous laugh. Well, so was I.

"Marry me, Mina."

"W-what?"

I really want to cut this crap I've been preparing with Katsumi the whole week, and drag her adorable surprised face closer instead, so I could seal her lips with mine—but my sanity repeatedly said that that's not the right way to put a ring on someone's finger. So I swallowed my pride and kneeling on one knee.

"I wanna marry you because you're the first person I want to look at when I wake up in the morning and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight."

She gasped in disbelieve and I immediately took her hand. "Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do."

Her face shines with joy. "_'Definitely, Maybe'_, my favorite movie." She made another gasped, tears stuck on the corner of her eyes. "You remember."

"Well, of course. You always compare me with Ryan Reynolds."

She laughed.

"Wait, wait, I haven't finished yet. Don't ruin the mood."

She tries to hold her laugh but instead left her with a big smirk. "Okay."

"So, Ashido Mina, will you… um…" Shit, I got nervous for real. "…will you…."

"Yes!" she shouted, jumping in glee. "I will marry you, Kirishima Eijirou! I will marry you even if it will cost me my life!"

I stood and hold her before she stumbled over her own feet and rolls down the hill. "Wow, that's a scary thing to say."

"It's okay." She puts her arms around me, eyes locking to mine. And she whispered, "Because I love you."

And there was nothing for me to say anymore, because we shut each other's mouth with kisses and laugher and cheesy comments like, "Your acting sucks."

"You think that was acting?"

"Ryan Reynolds was better."

I felt offended. "Well, Isla Fisher is prettier than you!"

"Oh how dare you!" She laughed. "Wait! You forgot about the ring! Or there was no ring all this time?"

"Of course there is!" I pulled out my neckless from behind my shirt. There were two silver rings hanging as it pendants. I took it off and put one finger on my left hand's ring finger, while the other one on hers. She watched me with clear amazement all over her face, and finally a crying one after I kissed her hand.

"You're so helplessly romantic."

"Well, thanks to someone that always gave me bundles of rom-com DVDs and novels, to begin with."

She laughed again. "You're welcome." And we kissed again.

.

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-:-

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.

Three miles. Their grave was supposedly just three miles from the nearest station, which just forty-five minutes by train from our house, which I could reach even if I was sleep-walking. But I had to cross the distance that felt like a thousand miles away from the motel I was spending my afternoon with self-loathing and not-so-good lunch even with my motorbike.

But before I even realize, I was standing before a tombstone of the Ashido family—where Mina's name was freshly engraved there—with an enormous bucket of red roses in my hand. She loves roses, she obsessed with them. And even now, I could still saw her image, sat casually on her family's tombstone, pulling those smiles that not bringing the slightest feeling of happiness.

"You shouldn't have, Kirishima."

"No. Don't say another crap, please. Let me miss you peacefully."

"You should forget me."

"Why are you so insisted on that?"

"Because we know it won't work between us." Her voice cracked and tears falling from her eye. "Not anymore. Not _ever_."

"And yet you looked so sad when I was sleeping with someone else!"

"Eijirou, I'm dead. I only exist in your head and therefore a manifestation of your conscious. What you think that you saw I did was your inner mind's self which takes the form of me. And you know she was not your answer."

"Answer for what?! I don't need an answer! I don't even have a question!"

"You just don't think you have."

The lava inside my head boiled again. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" And I blame the bourbon and whiskey I just had for the roses that I slammed to her tombstone. Like always, she disappeared right on time.

My knees weaken and made me fall to the ground as I landed a punch that made them crack open. She was here again, now standing behind me. Her voices were whispers but I could still catch them. "You think you know what you want, but you don't. You think you know who you love, but you don't. You think you know what happened, but you don't."

"What are you trying to say?" I turned to her, and she stared me back. "That my grieve was just a big-fat lie? I love you, Mina. Can't you see that?"

"I do. But your love means nothing if you can't even pull yourself together. Because it will break my heart."

I speechless and I could see a tear. Not hers, but mine.

"Go home. Live on. Forget me. Please, Eijirou. For your love to me."

.

.

-:-

.

.

There were three people when I got back to my 'home'. One of them obviously Denki, one of them probably Katsumi—but her shoes were all over the place and she was an OCD so I thought probably she was drunk—and another one was an unknown male who rich enough to bough Adidas' latest edition. Three people. Still, it's not as 'crowded' as it used to.

The sun already set high on the sky—the time was probably nine o'clock or so. Yet, dimness was still on every inch of the house. No lights on, no curtain is drawn. The living room was untouched and so does any other room. But when I walked to the room that I shared with Denki and Sero this past few years, I stopped before I even pushed the door open. From the small gap between the door and the wall, in the darkness and below the blanket, I could see Denki's bright-blonde hair on his bed. Yet I couldn't dare to storm onto my own bed—which above him—like the usual. Because he was sleeping with the rich-boy with the latest edition of Adidas, Shinshou Hitoshi, his boyfriend.

From what I could see, both of them were topless. And God knows what they were wearing down there. They probably just had sex and it would be totally awkward to found someone else sleeping on the bed above you when you wake up, so I closed the door and went somewhere else.

This house was originally designed for a family with a child or two. Sero, Denki, and I shared the largest room and filled them with three beds, while Mina and Katsumi shared the parent's room which only has one queen-size bed. There was another room intended for the guest, but we never had any so we turned them to another storeroom because apparently living with five grown-ups means there were a lot of unnecessary things you want to keep until you decide what to do with them.

I was about to go back to the living room and sleep on the couch, probably take a detour to the kitchen and stole a glass or two of whatever alcohol left on the fridge, when I passed Katsumi and Mina's room and felt something. A rose-scent was leaking from behind the door. And when I opened them, the room felt so familiar it weaken my defense. The light that always low, the warmth, the scent, and the unknown comfortable feeling I always have whenever I stepped into the room—they reminded me of Mina.

Whenever Katsumi was away in mission, Mina would take me to her room and we would have sex until morning. The memories were still fresh in my mind they started to move like hologram all over the room. Here and there, on the bed or in the shower, we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. Her laughs, her cries, her moans, her voice calling my name… all of them taking form and felt so real.

The rose smelled stronger in every step I took into the room, and it was strongest on the left side of the bed, where Mina usually lying on one side of her body, her back stares at me. She always took a bath before sleep, therefore made the scent smelled so fresh and her body-heat warms up the room. My body moved on itself and when I noticed, I was already lying half-awake beside her. Everything about this room makes my nerves calmed down, made me realize how tired I was, and suddenly, I fell onto a deep slumber.

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**=:=**

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**TO BE CONTINUE**

You have to know that I hate picturing Kirishima like that. But, I have to. I have been in some kind of dilemma while writing this. So yeah you got the reason why this chapter was on hold for weeks.

Oh, and can anybody help me with adult Kirishima's character design?

With love,  
Lee Audrey


	4. Love Will Stay

**Sanctuary**

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**a 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Fem!Katsumi**

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**Summary:**

Soon the strongest tree will quiver

Soon leaves will fall and shrivel

Bodies will fade away

But one thing remains

Our love will stay

Will make it through

Our love will stay there

Our love will stay

Times it will take our breath it's true

But our love will stay there

Our love will stay

(Gamaliel-Audrey-Cantika)

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**Chapter 4: Love Will Stay**

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**#Katsumi's POV**

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I immediately wide awake when I fell from my bed—or so I thought. After I crawled weakly from the floor and sat down, I realized that I'm no longer in my bedroom.

How the heck I ended up in the living room?

Suddenly images of unknown persons moved my body made the panic alert in my brain sent chill shivers down my spines. I was about to run for dear life outside the house and take out my rage to the world until I could find the culprit when I realized _I _was the one who moved my body here.

Dear Lord have mercy, I'm glad I haven't done anything crazy or I could die from embarrassment.

Remind me again why I moved here?

Oh, right. It was because somebody was sleeping right beside me on _my _bed, and it startled the heck out of me. Don't get me wrong, I was sharing a bed with Mina all these years, so I pretty much used to be sleeping next to someone else. But even in the most random and wildest sleeping-position, Mina would never lay a hand on me, moreover hugs me. We would sleep on the edge of each side of the bed because I made it very _fucking _clear that I don't like my personal space being invaded by someone else. She agreed with the term and I never had any trouble with her regarding sleeping territory.

Until now. I woke up because someone's arms were holding me real tight from behind I was almost karate-kick that person out of the bed before I turned around and froze instead.

It was Kirishima. The one who invaded my bed without notice, hugs me, and violated each and every rule I set regarding other human beings, was _Kirishima_—my dearest, dumbest, most annoying best friend—that if it wasn't him, only God's knows how to stop me from attempting a murder.

Oh, wait. Even if it was him, on a normal occasion, I would definitely Muay-Thai-kick him out from the bed or K.O. punch him awake and terrorize him with thousand curses human languages has ever known until he begs for his life, at least. But, no, I couldn't. Because he was crying in his sleep while mumbling something similar to Mina's name—or maybe it _was _her name after all—and he was reeks of alcohol. Even if my brain still half asleep, it was a piece of cake to noticed that he was depressed, and above all, lack of sleep.

But, heck! I was sleep-deprived too! I could finally have my long-awaiting sleeping-beauty-sleep after walked what it felt like half of Tokyo, smoked my lungs dry until I was afraid I'm going to die young, ate and drank much more than I can digest, and took a fucking good bath with all of Mina's stuff in a lovely warm shower. In comparison to a guy who just lost the love of his life and looks like always drunk himself to sleep over the week, I'm the one that deserved the good-night sleep better, right?

No—wait. I sounded like a jerk.

Gave up, I escaped from his arms—which kind of difficult, by the way, considering the firmness of his biceps muscles—replaced myself with a pillow, let him sleep on my bed, and headed to sleep on the living room's couch instead. Well, just this once. That son-of-a-bitch must be missing his fiancée so much he looks like a hobo.

All of that happened when the clock already 10 A.M., and right now was 3 P.M and I think I had enough sleep already.

I dragged my feet to the kitchen, thinking a glass of water could redeem my hangover or even my irritation. My eyelids barely opened, my muscles aches somehow, my skin shivers all over because the only blanket that I could get my hands on was not doing any job protecting me from the AC's parky temperature, so it's only natural for me to be surprised to found Kaminari and his purple-hair boyfriend sat casually on the dinner table while having left-over pizza for brunch.

But I never thought the electric-dumbass to be even more surprised than I was.

"KATSUMI?" He even jumped from his chair and horror was in his face like I was some kind of serial killer. His reaction made me even more irritated. "You're here?"

"Well, of course, I am! I fucking live here!"

"N-no, I mean, you weren't here last night so—"

"So I wouldn't come back at all? Well, sorry to say this, but I'm not the type of person who runs away for days just to avoid shits." I walked across the kitchen to drink water and leaned my back to the dish-washer. "Not like some certain _persons._"

"You mean Eijirou?"

Sometimes his stupidity makes me wonder why I even became friends with this creature.

"He's too, but I think who she means probably is you, babe." And being a good-boyfriend material as he is, Shinsou made good use of his mind-reading quirk to be my spokesman before I could even throw the glass in my hand to his boyfriend's empty head.

The Pikachu-human-ver. looked at me in surprise as if asking for my clarification.

"Stop staring at me like that, shithead. I don't want to get pissed so soon as I woke up."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry." If Kaminari really an electric rabbit-like Pokemon as he always admits he is, then I could definitely saw his ears dropped. His usual thousand-volts energy also seemed a bit dim. "I'm sorry I ran from home just like that. I just… needed time to think and adjust myself, I think. There were a lot of things that I need to process before I could tell you. And being under the same roof as stressed and depressed people as I was would never give me peace, so I—"

"What is it?" I cut him so fast he even startled. I crossed my arms and stare at him eye to eye. "What's the thing you want to tell me?"

Fear came back to his face and he moved a step closer to Shinsou. "N-not just you, Katsumi. When I said 'you', it also included Eijirou."

"Then just wake him up."

"Wait, he's here?"

"Sleeping like a log in my room."

"What, _your_ room?!" Now it's Shinsou that surprised me with his surprised reaction.

"I don't want to get the wrong idea from people who just spent the whole night fucked in this house. He was drunk. I slept there first but somehow he was behind me when I woke up so I moved to the couch."

"Oh, it was you on the couch?" Kaminari made his usual stupid face. "I thought it was just a bundle of pillows stacked under a blanket you use to cry when I wasn't here."

"It was me, you fucking shithead—and I don't channel my sadness by crying like you lots. I do… other things." I tried to come out with another reason but nothing seemed good enough. And both Kaminari and Shinsou looked at me like I'm the weird one. "So, are we waiting for you to wake him up or should I push him off my bed?"

"I think we should rather wait for him to wake up," suggested the purple-hair being the coolest head between us. "And I think we should get you something to ease the hangover and the hunger you will be having any time soon." He looked to his boyfriend like asking for support. "Right, babe?"

I'm super familiar with Kaminari's confuse look to be fooled by his cheap acting. "Uh, yeah, we're gonna head out for a bit. And when Eijirou awakes, we could talk the things over nicely and calmly like a civilized people."

I squinted my eyes. Something's not right. "You better promise me not gonna chicken out and will spill all the shits, Goofball. Or I swear on my life I'm gonna hunt you down until the center of the Earth and murder you without mercy."

He looked like he just got goosebumps. "I swear on my life gonna try not making you swear on your life."

"Good." I nodded. "Now scram!" Both lovebirds moved on their feet and went out of the house immediately.

I took the only edible food left on the fridge—a pudding I made days ago—and back to the couch to watch some news on TV. And as soon as I turned it on, I realized the reason why I avoided that damned thing in the first place. The news about last week's incident still broadcasted all over each and every TV station. They made some talk-show with the victim's family members, the hospitalized survivors, some heroes, and their agencies—or just reporting the development of the police's investigation in the news flash section. Watching all of those bullshits only makes me feel more miserable because I couldn't do anything right to help them solve the case without getting another mental-breakdown or horror-hallucination even when I just trying to remember the incident.

And just within ten minutes, I turned the TV back off.

That's when I realized Kirishima has been standing behind me all this time, still looked sleepy and like a hobo. Slowly and awkwardly he sat down at the farthest side of the couch while I was on the other side, watching every move he made like an eagle to its prey.

"Hi, Katsumi," he said after cleared his throat with a husky cough. "So... long time no see, eh? How are you?"

I raised one of my eyebrows, felt a weird chill. "Good. A little sleep-deprived, but good. And we met earlier."

"Uh, really?" His surprise expressions seemed genuine. "I believe I just met you, like, right now."

"You were in my room, asshole."

Suddenly a light blush appeared on his face. "Uh, yeah, I know. Sorry about that."

"When I was sleeping," I immediately added, "Basically you were sleeping next to me."

"What? I thought you were sleeping on the couch?"

"Yeah, after a certain person sneaked to my bed and probably thought I was his dead fiancée."

His blush became brighter, and now he even scratching the back of his head unconsciously. "You got me. I think I still miss her."

"So do I, dude. But I didn't sleep next to other people just because I miss her."

Now he seemed a little offended. "What can I say? I was drunk."

"You drunk 24/7. That excuse not acceptable," I said, tried to activate my defend mode before switching to the offense one. "I just want you to know that _I fucking hate it _when people crossed my personal-territory line, no matter the reason. Do that again and you can say goodbye to your dick without excuse."

Now, he looks cringed. "I was _just _sleeping. Why is it a big deal for you? It's not like I rape you or anything."

That one sentence enough to makes me lost my cool. "I told you _I fucking hate it _when people crossed my personal space!"

"But I'm not just some 'people', right?" He raised his voice, I bet without he even realized, but I didn't care any less. "Katsumi, we've been friends since, like, forever!"

"Even you being my roommate's fiancée doesn't give you any liberty to sleep on my bed anytime you want, or touch me without consent. Doesn't it enough for you to sleep there whenever I was away and you could have tons of sex with Mina? Even though I always told her to rent a fucking room in a motel or something. But heck, you two never listened."

He took some time to compose himself back. "Okay, I'm sorry about that. But we weren't doing that that often and most of the time we always thought you didn't know."

"Even if I was saying nothing doesn't mean I know nothing. It was just that she always changed the sheets and cleaned the room really good I had nothing to complain."

"Then what's the problem now?"

"The problem is she's already gone, genius! You can't keep that habit of yours forever! I'm not gonna be her replacement and she's not gonna be there anymore, so you better learn to live with that shits or you can look for another woman to sleep with, '_friend'_!"

Shocks not only appeared on his face—but also within me. What was just blurted out from my mouth wasn't exactly what I'm trying to say, but fuck, milk already spilled.

'_This is it_,' I said to myself. '_We're gonna have another World War raging anytime soon so God please give me strength not to kill the hobo—or _anyone.'

And like God actually heard my prayer, Kaminari stormed in with his radiant smile while Shinsou follows him with careful steps like walking on a grenade field. Even though the second Kaminari realized what happened with Kirishima and me while he was gone, his smile became the awkward one. But he still trying to be the usual goofball he is.

"Hi, there, Eijirou! Alive and kickin', aren't cha?" He slapped Kirishima's shoulder but got no response other than a cold 'hn'. "You two seem hungry. Are you hungry? Of course, you are! Let me prepare them real quick so we can—"

"Even if she still alive, doesn't mean you have any privilege to do anything to her without her consent just because she's 'yours'. Heck, she's not even 'all yours'. She still owns herself."

Kirishima looked really pissed right now. "Okay, you made it pretty clear. Just shut it, won't you?"

And the poor tiny goofball just could stand miserably while Shinsou went to the kitchen quietly. "What… is actually happening? Why are you on each other's throats again?"

The red-shitty-head turned his eyes anywhere but mine. "Nothing. Same old, same old."

I really want to smack him but my mood and energy weren't in the right place. So I turned to Kaminari. "What is it you wanna talk about?"

And met another unusual reaction—panic. "Before that, how about a cup of drink? It's on me—well, Shinsou's, actually, but yeah, you can be grateful! Just wait a minute and I'm gonna bring them real quick!" When he just about to move his feet, Shinsou came with four cups on a tray. He gave it to each of us and when I looked at mine, I couldn't hide my disappointment.

And it seems like Kirishima thinks the same way, at least. "Is this chocolate?"

"And in freaking plastic cups, nonetheless," I observed the cup in my hand, tried to convince myself it was really a plastic cup, not my brain playing tricks on me. "We're not ten anymore, Goofball. Not like you."

But Kaminari somehow got a lot braver and even dare to talks back to me. "No more alcohol for both of you—I think we all know you had enough share for a year worth of booze. And plastics because I don't want another glass to break if someone decided to throw something across the room again. Because what I'm gonna say to you... probably gonna upset you. So I thought chocolate was the best option because it will calm your nerve down a little, and—"

"Cut the crap, Goofball. Just tell me what it is."

The confident Kaminari Denki suddenly turned back to his coward self. He opened his mouth, then shut it immediately. The same things repeated few times while he was trying to giving an SOS signal to his boyfriend, whom in return, hold his hand, gave him a warm smile that made me more annoyed, and softly said, "It's okay, babe. Don't worry."

Oh, God, how I really want to throw these lovebirds off the planet.

And suddenly a dreaded possibility popped out on my mind. "Kaminari, fuck, no!"

My sudden howls surprised Kirishima who seemed kind of dozed off in the middle. "What? What happened?"

But I give no shit about him. "No way, you fuckers!" My rage was directed to Kaminari and Shinsou. "So soon after our friends died?"

The electric-blond looked confused. "What are you talking about? I haven't even said a word."

"Well, you better stop playing dumb, you dumbass. Just say it if you got engaged already so we can continue with our lives and finally had some real booze!"

The Pikachu froze in shock. "What? Engage?" Now his expression switched to cringed. "Hell, no!"

"Not yet," said Shinsou immediately.

"That's not what I wanna talk about, so you better shut your mouth and listen, Katsumi, and please don't get ahead of yourself." He turned to his boyfriend. "Anyway, does that mean you're gonna propose to me?"

"Yes, but not now, babe. You have something else to prioritize."

"But how can you not—I mean, you're gonna—"

With calm, the purple head holds Kaminari's head and turned it back to us. "Not now. Now, speak up. I got your back."

But that stupid asshole turned again to his boyfriend. "Okay. But promise me you're gonna do it properly!"

I really want to punch him in the face but Kirishima canceled that intention with his roar, "Oh, come on, guys!"

And Kaminari composed himself. "So, before I speak, I want to make a deal that whatever your reaction is after you heard this, I want you not to kill me, threaten me, or Shinsou, okay?"

"Depends," I said. And immediately got a sharp glare from everybody.

"Oh, just agree, would you, Katsumi?" said Kirishima, looks totally pissed—well, other than sleepy, hungry, and hangover.

"Fine!" I screamed. "Now stop the bullshit and spill the beans already!"

"Okay!" Kaminari took a few deep breaths and when he was ready, he was looking straight to our eyes. "It was me. I was the reason why Mina and Sero… died."

I didn't believe what I just heard and with a raised eyebrow, slowly asked, "…excuse me?"

But my reaction made him more frustrated than he already was. "I've said it! I'm the reason they died, okay!" And with a single breath, he spurred out, "I was about to rescued two children who got lost within the commotion when suddenly a building next to us collapsed and was about to fall upon us and I froze there like a fucking idiot because I honestly didn't know what to do, I mean, my quirk will help nothing so I just stood there protecting them and tried to not get panic when suddenly Sero and Mina appeared out of nowhere and pushed us aside but when they were about to run it was too late."

Shock and silence were filling the room as Kaminari catch hold of his breath. Both Kirishima and I just froze while processing the news and Kaminari seemed unsure about what should he does, so he said, now cautiously, "I was there. I saw their last minutes. I saw them die. It haunted me more than The Nun or Chucky and you know they are my biggest fear. And I feel so… guilty. I've had enough to blame myself, but when I saw you so mad and sad, it frustrated me even more."

"So you ran," I said, looked him in the eyes.

And he nodded. "So I ran."

All of us fell to another silence which, in my case, due to my confusion about what should I do or say. Instead of throwing another tantrum like I bet both Kaminari and Shinsou imagined, I sipped the chocolate slowly even though I know they got nervous with every move I made.

I was certainly mad. But I knew Goofball since our high school days and I know perfectly clear how much he loath himself after what happened to his dearest best friends. Now we know the case, it became understandable why Kaminari acted as he did. And think it through with cool-head, it was not his fault at all. He just doing his job as a pro-hero by rescuing those kids, and so does Mina and Sero by reducing the possibility of casualties. I understand that perfectly but I guess Kirishima doesn't on the same page with me.

Why? Because he stood up suddenly and went to the nearest wall to punch them with his quirk and set a hole within them. All of us jumped in shocked and horror was particularly on Kaminari's face.

"Kirishima!" I shouted, tried to get the sense back to him. But I guess I failed.

"Why… it was him? Why?" He cried and his shoulders were shaking. "Why does he do that? Why?"

His reaction started to creep me out. "You can't blame Kaminari for what happened. It was their decision to help him."

"You understand nothing, Katsumi!" He turned to me, rage and grieve raw on his face. "It's not about Denki at all. It's about him!"

"What… are you saying?"

"Why him? Why, Mina?" He fell on his knees, crying even louder while covering his face with one hand. "It should've been me. If it were me, I would still be with you, at least. What were you thinking when you asked him instead of me, Mina? Do you… hate me that much?"

Seeing him talking like Mina actually here seriously freaked me out. I walked to him carefully and crouched next to him. "Dude, cut it out. You're talking nonsense. She's not here."

"What?" He turned to me in shock. "Of course she's here! She's here and she's standing right there like none of this has anything to do with us! Like… she thought she did the right thing." He pointed at the corner of the room, where a table with a vase of withered roses stood silently all this time. "But no! I tell you what, Mina, you did the wrong thing! If you really loved me, you should've asked for my help and let me die together with you. You know I would. You know I _definitely_ would. But instead you asked someone else just because you know he would do the same…. You thought you saved me but, no, you killing me slowly, you know?"

And suddenly he broke in tears again. A loud, honest, and painful cries.

"I… seriously don't know what to do with my life without you," he said within his sobs, clutching his chest like a bullet just pierced through and he was actually dying.

I didn't know since when but tears unexpectedly made their ways through my cheeks. I tried my best to stop the flows and reluctantly pulled Kirishima by the collar. "Listen to me, Shitty-hair." But he didn't budge even a muscle. I tried harder and rougher and finally I could make him stand on his feet. "Listen to me!" I shouted right before his face. "I don't know what you're saying but you can't blame the dead for what happened! I bet neither of them knew they would die right at that moment and probably thought that would just be another usual rescue-mission and they would come home to us. Nobody wants to die, especially a person who about to have her marriage and was so excited about them. You know that, aren't you?"

"But you know nothing, Katsumi!" He shouted back. "You know nothing about the reason why Sero was in that place that day even though his agency was different than ours. You know nothing about his feeling to Mina, didn't you? That he always has a crush over her for years even though she still chose me anyway! You didn't know, right? You know _nothing_. So stop talking like you know shits!"

I punched him. With all my might and consciousness, I punched him until he was flying across the room and landed on the corner where the vase of roses was. Both Kaminari and Shinsou already on their feet and ran straight to me to stop me to do anything more reckless.

But even though two grown-up men hold my limbs, I still struggled to land another punch. "Don't you dare say anything like that! You think I'm so dense and stupid I wouldn't notice the obvious? Here's the news, shitass, I'm not! I always know that Sero couldn't get over her ever since they broke up when they just entered high school. I always know that that was also the reason why he tried so hard to be close to us. I know that it kills him every time he saw you with her. And you know what? I also know that you started dating her basically just to get over me! It was as plain as the day and I wouldn't forget those kinds of shits so easily, fucker!"

I tried to catch my breath, Shinsou and Kaminari loosen their grips on me. "But you also know what? In the end, none of that matters. We decided to live together not because a stupid rivalry to win over someone. We chose to live together because we wanted to. Yes, we are different individuals, wreaked, and cursed with our own problems. But we love each other so much we're willing to die for each other. We actually became actual friends, best friends, family. Sero and Mina not only matters to you but also to Kaminari and I. So don't you dare to say we don't know any shit, fucker."

Cries broke again and Kirishima stares at me wide-eyed, but the cries were not his. Instead Kaminari hugs me real tight while sobbing and howling on my shoulder. I patted his blonde head slowly while the other hand hugs him back. "And you should stop blaming yourself too, Goofball. You didn't do anything wrong. Instead, I bet they would be so proud because you successfully saved those kids."

"But… if it wasn't for me… they would've…." he said, between the sobs.

"Those brats would've died and you would definitely blame yourself anyway. So suck it, Goofball. Life hurts."

"But that shouldn't be the reason for you to stop living your life," said Shinsou while walking towards Kirishima and offered him a hand. "Right, pal?"

Kirishima stared at those hands for a while, but in the end, accepted them anyway and Shinsou slowly helped him on his feet again.

"Because you wouldn't know how good it feels to be really happy if you never know how it feels to be hurt," said Shinsou again, walked toward us alongside Kirishima. And when he was close enough, he patted Kaminari's head lovingly. "And I'm so grateful you're alive, babe, or else no one would teach me those lines." He puts a tiny-joke smile and I knew Kaminari was looking back at him from behind my shoulder. Now I could see why they were so in love with each other.

And the purple-head said again, "So, dinner?"

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-:-

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The next day I decided to go to my agency's office even though I didn't know what I'm going to do. Technically I'm still on my leave to have some rest after the incident, but just doing nothing proved no good for my mental health, so probably I'm going to ask Best-Jeanist to let me take some shift again.

Immediately as I reached the office—by taking a lot of small-alley ways to avoid any news reporter—I talked to my boss and told him my demands. But he gave me the unexpected.

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

And it pissed me off right away. "Why?! I'm perfectly healthy!"

"But how about your psyche?"

"Haven't you listened? That's why I asked you for a job!"

He took a deep breath before answered, "I have two reasons why I can't give you any. First, you know even in your best condition you still couldn't handle your quirk well—you said that yourself. And any mission nowadays always revolves around that incident. If you said you still traumatized, there's a big chance you would lose control. I can't risk you getting hurt or hurt someone else in your current state."

"But we wouldn't know that!" I insisted.

"Second!" He cuts me suddenly. "Police investigation found out that you possibly also caused damages and casualties more than the rescue ones."

"W-what?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. "Casualties?"

He looked hesitant to answer. "Yes," he said after a short pause. "I really don't want to show it to you, but I think you should know sooner or later."

Still in confusion, he directed me to his room and showed me a CCTV recording from his computer. "This is from some buildings near the incident. I got it from the police with the sole purpose to show them to you. So I want you to also keep it secret until we could sort things out."

"What? What should be shorted out?"

"Just watch."

At first, the video showed normal activities around a shopping complex. The time was 11 A.M. five days ago. When the angle changed, someone was flying over the shopping complex and blasted lasers from their hands to the flying massive-size rock and destroyed them to pieces. The rocks came to them one by another. And the angle changed again, showing us another person who was floating not so high from the nearest building. Just by moving their hands, they crushed a tower and throw them to the laser-person, repeatedly. The fight was going on and on, throwing, smashing, and flying all over the shopping complex.

The angle then changed again, now showing the ruckus and commotion below the fight—where part of the crushed buildings fell like rain and destroyed everything they landed on, tore people apart as they ran to saved themselves, killed few of them but hurt so many, and somehow started a fire that spread slowly until it devoured half of the shopping district.

Heroes came and went by as they rescuing the civilian, cries and screams echoed through the sky, and between those uproars, I caught the sight of Kaminari trying his best to run to a little boy and girl who just stood and crying for their parents. When he got them, he immediately took them to escape, but fire already before them and a crumbling building was on their right and left.

And the angle moved again, to the flying-laser person versus the floating guy. Somehow, the floating-guy pushed the laser-person with his quirk in two miles distance, and sent the laser-person flying backward and crashed into a building that happened to be right beside Kaminari and the two kids. It took not even a minute for the laser-person to fly again and chase the floating-guy. But the crash was so massive it instantly destroyed the building and collapsed into thousand pieces straight into Kaminari and the kids. But someone came at the right moment, pushed them aside to safe area, and the other one successfully holds the ruins with their quirk before they could hit Kaminari or the kids.

And then the whole area was covered in dust for minutes that felt like decades. Nothing could be seen except the frustratingly white smoke. And when the view got clearer, none of them could be spotted on the screen. Just blood splattered here and there, ruins all over the places, and after Best-Jeanist zoomed in the video, I found Kaminari among the chaos, sheltered below some ruins that stacked like a dome above him, hugging the kids for dear life, I bet trying so hard not to scream or cry at the moment. And with horror, his gaze didn't move from what in front of him—and that's when I realized a hand, pink one, from under the ruins, with a pool of blood around them. And there's another one, not so far, another pool of blood.

And the poor electric boy just sat there and calmed the kids down, while he himself was shaking in fear.

Then the video stopped, and immediately I realized that I was holding my breath all this time.

Best-Jeanist looked me in the eye. "Now you got the situation. Do you remember anything?"

"What… do you mean?" I didn't even know that was the chronological scene of the incident before I saw this video. I mean, I remembered saw Mina's and Sero's body on their own blood at the crime scene, but I guess it was minutes after they sterilized the area. But the way my boss looked at me really sent chills greater than I ever felt.

"Hm. So you're not remember anything—well, I guess as much. Because… 'you' were not _you_ at that time."

It seriously confused me even more. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He then rewinds back the video and paused when the laser-person was fighting with the floating-guy. And this time he asked me to take a good look at them, so I did. The floating-guy wore a black, ugly mask that covered his head to shoulders, and he dressed like a magician with suits and long coats. While the laser-person was glowing with their radiant quirk, their eyes even lost within the light. And when I look closer at them, I realized something that made me felt so scared I couldn't move a single muscle.

"It was you, Bakugou. This person was you." Best-Jeanist pointed at the laser-person. "But not exactly you '_you'_. My personal analysis is that you lost your consciousness and was taken over by your rage, your fear, that controlled your quirk until you used them with… one hundred percent."

I couldn't say anything—just stood there and stare at him with total oblivion.

"The point is, I can't let you handle any mission before I get a full guarantee you're not going to lose your mind again, or at least after you can get ahold of your quirk. And as for the legal matters… well, I already prepared a lawyer. Don't worry, you were in the state of the unconscious so maybe we can, at least, try not to get you detained."

But I heard nothing. All along, my mind just stuck in one question: "How many?"

"Pardon?"

"How many that died?"

"If we calculated it with just the damages that you caused, then about… fifty."

It stroked me like lightning. "_Fifty?!_"

"The rest was due to the fire, other villains, etc."

"FUCKING _FIFTY_?!" Now I shouted, officially freaked out. I pulled my hair hard enough it might be plucked out from its stems.

And my boss tried his best to remain calm. "We're going to handle this, I promise. Now, I think you should be going home and take some rest."

I didn't feel like myself at that time. Because when Best-Jeanist guided me out of the office and called a taxi for me, I didn't resist or say anything. My mind was elsewhere but I hardly remember what I was thinking. But when he was about to close the car's door, I held his hand and immediately said, "What should I do?"

"Learn to control your quirk and emotion. You lost your mind may be because you were triggered by something so personal and emotionally incomprehensible," he said, without losing a tiny bit of his cool. "See you soon, Bakugou."

And the cab drove me home.

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-:-

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**TO BE CONTINUE**

Hi, there. Lee Audrey here. I hope you enjoy this chapter. What do you think about Katsumi? Do you like her? I made her quirk like Captain Marvel's, so you can imagine her easier. And it's was soooo fun to write with her point of view, because she's so cynical I can use so many sentences to insult others. I love her—and the real Katsuki, of course. They're the real babe.

And by the way, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO VOTED FOR SHINKAMI? I MEAN, THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE OMG. They will last through this fiction, so please bear with them.

Next chapter KatsuDeku / DekuKatsu will have another 'date', yeay!

Last, sorry if my English still kind of odd. Just tell me if I made a mistake in the review box. That would be very much appreciated.

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With love,

Lee Audrey

(8/29/19)


	5. MONSTER

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki**

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**Summary**:

I'm friends with the monster that under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You trying to save me, stop holding your breath

And you think I'm crazy

And you think I'm crazy

(Rihanna)

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**Chapter 5: Monster**

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**#Katsumi's PoV**

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Normally, adults around my age wouldn't be afraid of anything anymore. We could watch horror movies without flinching, or even living in a dark, big house alone without any problem. Our stomachs are strong enough to handle splattering blood, hideous killers, or scattered insides in any kind of gore, and our libidos had numbed even with hardcore porno or BDSM practices. Because adults around my ages mostly had realized that the real-life itself is more terrifying than any made-up stories humankind could ever imagine. We live in an unpredictable reality, where unimaginable things could happen anytime, anywhere. Yet, even with that in mind, even if I fully aware of the theory I created myself, I couldn't help but stay wide awake throughout the night; because I'm afraid that the old, ugly monster inside me, would wake up once I fell asleep.

The monster from my past has many forms, has many faces, yet as time goes, all of them merge in one big, dark entity that keeps lurking on the corner of my mind. The first monsters I ever encountered were the ones that killed my father in a bank-robbing accident. The bullet from their guns hit right through my father's head, and the worst thing is, that incident was live-streamed across the nation. The second monster was a moneylender that always came to my house once a month to ask for their money, yet even when my mother said that she haven't had any, he would rape her until she was crying. Eventually, my mother was agreed to work in their shop as a hostess—she dressed like a whore, would sleep all day, and stay out all night; when she came home, she would totally drunk with so many men's perfumes on her body I could barf.

The third monster raped me in a small alley when I was walking home from school. Izuku wasn't with me that time because he's been absent for a while, and the bastard took the chance when I was walking the same path I took every day. I remember that I cried, I scream, but no voice came from my mouth. The pain from my vagina was unimaginable to the point I thought my body would be split in half. But the bastard realized nothing of my pain and kept pushing his dirty cock roughly. When he was done, among the white sperm and sweats, I could see blood running down my legs like a river. I cried and I couldn't stand. The monster laughed above me, said he enjoys my crying face. When he was about to do it again, I choked his thick neck and scream so loud. The power inside me that I've been trying to contain, were overflowed and took the best of me. Without I even realizing it, my rages sent heat waves throughout my body and boil his blood, so much so he explodes into thousand pieces from inside out like the pregnant cat I accidentally killed in kindergarten.

Blood was splatted everywhere, his insides decorate the walls and ceiling of the alley and waves like small fags. At the time, I couldn't realize anything other than the fast beating of my heart and the heat from my hands. Even My sweat, the sperms, and the blood evaporate from the heat of my body, and I couldn't understand what just happened. The only thing that filled my mind was that I have to go home and I want to hug my mother.

I ran, and ran, and ran. When I arrived, she was having sex with a man I never saw before. Fuck consent, I didn't even ask her if their relationship was mutual or not. The thing I remember was I ran to the kitchen and pull a knife. I ran back to the living room and stabbed the man multiple times he couldn't even defend himself. My mother tried to stop me, but when she finally succeeded, the man already dies.

She cried on the floor—whether from the gore scene she just witnessed, the fact that her only child became a murderer, or because the man she apparently loved had died. Whichever it is, she immediately wiped her tears, took the knife and rinse the blood clean, and said to me, "Katsumi, you did this. Now, you have to make this right." So she told me to burned his body in the middle of the night, beside the neighborhood's dumpster, until nothing left of him, while she wiped the blood from the floor. After that, she asked me, "Why?", I answered with, "I was also raped," then she hugged me, and we never speak of the accident ever again.

Years passed and many things happened—I even got enrolled in UA's hero major, graduated, and became a pro-hero. When I thought the monsters from my past already disappears, sometimes it would suddenly emerge in a form of other men around me. Kirishima, Sero, even the soft and funny Denki would make me in full alert sometimes. No, they would never do something so hideous like rape—hell, none of them even brave enough to molest me. But their innocent eyes, their hands that touched my shoulders lightly, or their voices that call my name suddenly—every inch of them afraid me. I cried over this sometimes, thinking should I become a lesbian or just spend the entire life without a partner or just kill myself. But even though my brain told me to kiss a girl, I just couldn't. So I decided to decide anything. I buried my traumas in the hero works; catching the villains that mostly male feels like an escape route to overcome my rage and a twisted way to revenge.

Sometimes, I killed them in the name of 'accident'. Sometimes, I hurt them so bad they begged to be killed. With the passing time, I no longer could see my hands without blood wrapping around it. And like the poor Lady Macbeth, no matter how many times I washed my hands, the blood always there—even getting darker and darker. It almost cost me my mind, but when I almost gave up, I decided to just live with these bloody hands, and accept the scariest monster I ever encounter.

None of my best-friends knows about the monster that always follows my footsteps, or neither of them knows what happened before UA. They just knew that a bigger, scarier monster somehow exist somewhere, but just couldn't pinpoint where. But I always knew.

Two days have passed since I knew the truth behind the incident that killed Mina and Sero, and it has been two days since the last time I could close my eyes and sleep. Hell, the idea of closing my eyes even terrifies me. Because in the dark, where I could goddamn sure I was alone, I always feel like the scariest monster inside me would wake up and eat me whole. That monster was different from the others, yet they're the same, even more insidious. That monster not only capable of killing without mercy, but also taking control over me completely. And by the way it killed Mina and Sero, and fifty other innocent people, it once more triumphed in proving that I was nothing but an empty vessel.

That last monster, the one that I always afraid of more than anything, would always look me back in the eyes each time I see my reflection.

"Katsumi?" Denki's careful voice startled me. I was sent back to reality in a blink of an eye. When I looked at him, worries engraved clearly on his face, and his small hands were shaking a little as he holds two cups of what I guess to be hot chocolates. He must have scared; maybe also saw the monster inside me. But nonetheless, he hands me over one of the cups. "This can help you sleep," he said, sat carefully beside me on the floor.

"Thanks." I accept it with the only smile I could muster at the time—the small yet sorrowful one. From the way he approached me—which in the middle of the night, where the bustling of the city had weakened and my emotion finally in control—Kirishima and Denki must have realized something was wrong, but neither dared to ask.

"Find something interesting there?" asked the electric blonde, hinting at the small aquarium we kept in the corner of the living room, where five fishes, each belongs to one of us, swimming leisurely inside. But the only thing I could see was the monster that stares back at me from inside the glass.

"Nah."

"Got anything about the shopping district incident?"

It's been a long time since I last checked for news on TV and I lost my phone somehow. "You tell me."

"Well, Shinsou said they already found out who was behind the incident, but the police wouldn't publish anything. He said it was classified. Fishy, right? But they still trying to figure out who the villain was. Because after the incident, there's haven't been any come-backs, and not like any other villains after their big attack, this one seemed not the show-off type. For now, the police said we should wait for their next moves."

'_So Best Jeanist kept secret the things about me,' _there's some relive to that thought, but also remorse. The talk with Kirishima a few days back crossed my mind, about the other possibilities that could emerge from words 'what if'. _'What if I just surrender myself? Would I be forgiven? Would this ugly monster finally learn its lesson?'_

"Anyway, a package came for you just now. It was from someone named Midoriya Izuku. Hm, wonder where I heard that name before. Is he famous?"

Denki's words stoke me back to reality again. "What? Izuku?" Without really knowing what just took over my body this time, I rushed to the desk in the hallways, and still with a bewildered heartbeat, found a beautiful package with red ribbon and a small open note saying, "You forgot this." Inside, there's my old phone with a brand new one, side by side, and there's another small note, "You're always an old-fashion person, but you don't have to anymore. Here, for you."

Behind me, Denki gasped with awe. "Isn't that iPhone Galaxy 7? That one supposed to launch next week! How could he get that? That one suuuuper expensive, Katsumi! Whoever this Midoriya guy is, he must be a real deal."

Confusion still all over me, so I couldn't find the right way to reply. "Yeah, he's a fancy-pants, indeed."

"Wait, wait up! I think I remember when was I heard his name." He rushed to the living room and turned on the TV. After changing the channels a few times, he stopped at a channel that mainly talks about business and technology. There, the reporter was interviewing a young man with green hair and freckles that I knew goddamn well. "Here! Look! Isn't it him? Midoriya Izuku?"

That bastard wore a black, modern suit that fits his figure perfectly, and smiled calmly as the reporter praised him. "Yeah, that's the asshole alright."

"You know a literal blue-blood and you haven't told me?" The dumb blonde becomes the annoying blonde immediately. With his squishing voice, he shouted near my goddamn ear. "Damn, Katsumi! You're a sneaky bitch!"

"Shut the fuck up, Dunch Face! It's not like I want to hide it or anything."

"But I understand if you do. I mean, look at him! Look at his face, his body, his _money_!" He puts extra tension on the last word. "So young but already the president of a multi-national tech company? Oh my God, if I have a boyfriend like him, I would also want to keep him for myself!"

"I said shut up! He's not my fucking boyfriend." What tech company? Isn't his family business revolve around medication? "And besides, yours is exactly like that!"

"But Shinsou not the owner of the company; his father does. While this Midoriya guy, I heard he's the one who started the tech company from scratch to rival his family's meds company. He even spent a few years back travels around the world to open some new branches. No wonder he could give you a brand-new phone like it's nothing."

"Denki."

"Next, I bet he would gave you a gown made of silk and diamonds, then also some awesome jewelry that has a long history in some country's royal families, and then a car that only produced limitedly, and a house near the sea but also has easy access to the mountain on an exotic island, and then—"

"DUNCH FACE!" I grabbed his collar he almost chocked.

His face squishing in front of my eyes. "Y-yes?"

With hissed, I said, "I'm. Not. His. Fucking. Mistress. His money means nothing to me if his attitude were like other privilege assholes that think women can easily be won only by wealth and good looks. So stop your bitching, and do me a favor by deleting your fantasy."

"But—"

"Shut up, Denki!"

"—you do have hots for him, right?"

"I said shut the fucking hell up!"

"Woah, chill, girl. Your face is so fucking red it could burst."

"Fuck off!" I shoved his face aside and went to my room. "You don't know shit about me!" The door slammed shut with a bang, and I threw the box to the wall. Both my old phone and the new one jumped from the box and landing safely on my bed. I groaned, so loud I even refused to admit that it sounded like the real lion in hunger.

The balcony in my room was facing the part of the city where the moon showers it with lights. The cold breeze that caressing my skin calms me down, and after few deep breaths, I look back to my dark bedroom, and deciding what I should do with the fancy bastard and his unwanted gift.

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**#Izuku's PoV**

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The full moon was already high in the sky when I opened my eyes. These past few days have been hectic with so many interviews or just company meetings only to keep my public appearance clean. The woman with white and red hair beside me still sleeping soundly, unbothered by the cool temperature on her naked body. I looked up at the clock, then remembered that I had another appointment at midnight, and I almost late.

I rushed out from my condo after dressed up in my casual outfit—black shirt and trousers—straight to the elevator and immediately pressed the 'UG' button. I was humming all the way down, actually cooling my nerves down from the thought of angry Shigaraki, when suddenly the elevator stopped at floor 52 and the old and kind Lady Murasaki appeared behind the closed doors and greeted me with her usual warm smile.

"Good evening, Murasaki-san," I said, with a small, nice fake smile like usual. I held the door open for her, and let it closed when her frail feet successfully got her inside. "First floor?"

"Oh, yes, thank you, young man." She patted my arm lightly, and I pushed the '1' button. "Insomnia too?"

"Aha, no. Actually, I just remembered that I have some works to do." I put a laugh after that.

"Good grieve, you must've been so busy! What kind of work makes you have to go to the office after you're coming home?"

"No, it's okay, Murasaki-san. I love my work so it's not a big deal."

"Oh my God, you're such a good lad." She patted my arm again. "But don't push yourself too hard, okay? I heard there are so many workers that had died because of overwork these days."

I nodded formally. "Yes, the number is unsettling."

The door then opened again on floor 35, 17, and 6. And each time it opened, someone would come in and greet us with warm formality amid their sleepiness. Then we would talk about trivial things or exchanged some small news about their children, their job, or just about the weather forecast for tomorrow. When we finally reached the first floor, they gradually stepped out of the elevator, and I especially held the door again for Lady Murasaki and Mrs. Okawa who was pregnant at the moment.

The kind Lady Murasaki turned her head to me to asked, "You're coming, young man?"

And I pulled another formal smile. "My car was parked down there."

She gave me another formal reply and I let the door closed. Mr. Kimura, who was also headed to the underground parking lot, just gave me a formal smile and said nothing until the elevator reached the destination floor. He was about to walk out, before he froze and turned to me, "You're not coming?"

And again, I laughed formally. "No, actually, my car was right below this floor."

Confused must be on his mind when he tried to recall is there really another parking lot below this floor. But he nodded and said with a small laugh, "Well, I guess that's a perk of being the son of this apartment's owner."

"Ahaha, yes, you can say that." Actually, I'm the one who owned this building, but whatever. He doesn't need to know.

The door closed and I pressed a secret button below all the visible ones—one that hidden inside the wall—and the elevator went under. One, two, three floors were passed, and finally the door opens. Warm-orange light embraced me as I stepped into a large room where Shigaraki and the others have waited for me and I bet immediately turned their heads when the elevator's door was open.

"Good morning, everyone," I said, with wide grins while scanning around the room and wearing a pair of rubber gloves. "So, who's the lucky guest?"

Iida Tenya, my humble secretary, stood tall and upright beside a man who tied up on an electric chair that used to kill prisoners in the 60s American prisons. Strapped tightly on that chair was a skinny man with greyish hair on a typical salaryman suit. "Your first prey is a 35 years old man who killed thirteen women in the past four years, and also rape all of them—either before, or after the killing."

"Or both," said that man, unashamed. Instead, he laughed at my surprised face.

I flinched in disgust. "Well, that's kinda nasty, you know? And the victims?"

"They were females around ten to fifty years old."

"Hmm, quite a ladies' man, aren't you?" I walked around that man, paying attention to every inch of him, try to make some deduction—which is super easy, you know, this man was nothing more than a hypocrite that masked the monster inside him with your usual middle-class salaryman appearance. Well, sometimes the plainest is the deadliest, like Ted Bundy. "And quirk?"

"Camouflage," Iida replied fast.

"Like ninjas?"

"No, like chameleons," said the man himself, looking rather proud.

"Wow, that's very interesting." I shift my attention to a plate full of knives in every shape and size imaginable that was hold by Toga Himiko. "So, would you like me to eat your brain after, or before I kill you?"

That smug face vanished in seconds. "What?"

"You heard me right, buddy," I said after I picked a small knife and touching the tip lightly. "I'm gonna cut the skin around your head, maybe a little above the ears like I always do. And then break your skull with a small saw or just a kitchen knife—really, this one is entirely up to you. If I decide that I like you, you might have a quick and not-so-much-pain death; but if you pissed me off, I'm gonna try my best to make it to be the best experience in your life, all your sensor nerves will screaming in joyful agony." I turned my head to the blonde girl that laughing at the man that already pissing himself. "So, Toga-san, what do you think? Should I eat his brain after, or before I kill him?"

"Before, darling, obviously. I love them when they beg for their life with their squishing crying voices."

I laughed casually. "I bet you just wanna hear the screams."

"Oh, Praise Satan!" Shigaraki roared from the corner of the room, where he leaned himself to the wall and crossed his arms. "Would you spare me the chit-chat and get it over with? He's not the only one you have to eat today."

Here it comes, my guardian monster comes to life. "Yes, Mommy, I will do it immediately."

"I'm not your fucking mom, Izuku! So stop—"

"Alright, I get it. If you excuse me, I have an open brain surgery to do."

The poor Ted Bundy impersonate screamed in fear again. "WHAT THE FU—?"

I stood behind the man. "Iida, the saw." And the second the saw was on, our poor chameleon started to realizes that none of us is joking. He started to beg and later turned into cries when the saw split his head open regardless of his deafening screams and blood that splashed everywhere.

Toga-san was thrilled with joy when the rain of blood touches her face, Iida ran immediately to get the towel from another room, and Shigaraki sighed. "He would never listen to me, would he?"

His screams were like a symphony to my ears, and his struggle adds some excitements to tonight's dinner. He jumped a lot, cried so much, and peed the floor before finally I cracked open his skull. The juicy pink organ of his welcomes me with thumping glee and I slowly removed it from its container. And only then, the background music had stopped playing.

Iida immediately came with an antique china platter where I put the brain on. After rinsing my hands clean, I headed to the table in the corner of the room where he already prepared a fork and knife beside the china platter, sat down, and played a Bruno Mars's Treasure from my phone that connects to the stereos around the room. When I just had my third bite, the song abruptly changed to Muse's version of an old song, Can't Take My Eyes Off of You, from the Reff part. The song sent pleasurable shivers down my spine. There's no other meaning if the ringtones I set only for Kacchan to rings other than the said person herself beats all the odds and calling me.

Oh my God, her face from last year's Japanese Hero Billboard Chart where she obtained the fifth position, shining below the light so majestically with her new uniform, appeared on my screen phone and I already had a hard-on.

I immediately rinse the leftover brain in my mouth with red wine before answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Don't fucking 'hello' me, Nerd! Explain yourself!"_ Her voices echoed around the room from the stereo, but I wouldn't care any less.

"About what?" I asked, trying so hard no to sound too happy but I guess I just can't.

"_This fucking new phone. What's the meaning of this?"_

"Midoriya-sama," Iida shouted from another side of the room, "what should we do with the body?"

I closed the phone with one hand and shout back, "Feed them to the dogs." And back on the phone, "Meaning? There's no ulterior motive, Kacchan. I just want to give you a new phone since you left the old one in the harbor the other day. Don't worry, all your data were safely moved to the new one."

"_But I don't fucking need it. Take it back!"_

"How could you still able to use the phone that so outdated and already has so many fractures on its screen, Kacchan? You have to stop pushing yourself too hard."

"_I'm not, you fucking nerd! I just don't need this kind of attention from you!"_

"Nee, nee, Midoriya-kun," Now Toga was the one who called me. "Can I have the heart?"

I pulled the phone further for a second. "Yes, you can do anything with that." And back again to the phone: "So you don't like it? Then what kind of attention do you want from me?"

"_NONE!"_

"What? But—"

"_Don't stick your nose where it's don't belong, nerd! Just fucking take it back or I'll throw it to the sea!"_

"Oy, Izuku!" Now Shigaraki calling. I responded with a sharp glare. "Finish your shit fast. Your next dinner's already here."

I think I'm already on my limit. "Can you shut the fuck up?!" I roared unintentionally. When I was back on the phone, the call already ended. And to make things worse, Bruno Mars's Treasure resumed on the stereo.

"OH, FUCKING HELL!"

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**#Katsumi's PoV**

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I threw the phone again, but instead to the wall, I threw it to the stacks of pillows on the bed that used to belong to Mina. I didn't know why but I just pissed off; either from the fact that he seems still so busy in the middle of the night hinting his success in business or just a plain dumb fact that he sounds so happy with people I didn't know—or just another dumb fact that there was a woman's voice in the background. Either way, I didn't want to think about that any further and decided to just go to sleep.

Throwing myself against the empty bed, I tried to gather all the drowsy hormones in me while closing my eyes. Tomorrow, I will see the nerd and throw the phone right to his freckled face and beat the shit out of him. Then maybe I will check the situation in the office. After that maybe I should go to the supermarket to buy some food. It's been a while since I cooked and I kind of missed it. At least cooking would be a good distraction. Or should I just go mount-climbing? All of these ideas seemed so good so let me decide once I wake up….

That goddamned phone suddenly buzzing. When I furiously grabbed it, that was just a message from the nerd. ["I'm so sorry there were so many distractions. I promise I'll make up for you later. Should we meet up then?"]

What in the fucking hell does this bastard want now?

["No need. Just take care of your goddamn business. I can shove this phone up your ass anytime."]

["Then can we just have a normal dinner? I miss your cooking, Kacchan."]

What the fuck is this? Why I could feel my cheeks burning in the heat?

["How dare you to think I would cook for you."]

["Then I'll cook! You still like salty and spicy foods, right?"]

["I don't believe in your cooking."]

["Then I'll let the pros handle that! So how about I pick you up at the Shibuya Station? I heard there's a new Mexican restaurant just opened up."]

Shibuya? Is he crazy? That neighborhood existed solely to the filthy riches! ["Don't push your fucking luck, nerd."]

["I'll pay."]

Well, now we're talking. ["Whatever."]

["Cool! Then I'll see you around lunchbreak! Good night and have a nice sleep! 3"]

I threw again the phone and stare blankly at the ceiling. _'What in the name of Lucifer just I agreed with?_'

Accepting the coming of my doom in the morning, I decided to go back to sleep to prepare my soul and body for the upcoming war.

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**#Izuku's PoV**

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"You're a monster!" The girl in front of me cried with a voice that already hoarse from too much screaming. Yet the only thing that still occupies my mind was the 'read' sign from my last text to Kacchan. Without a doubt, this girl must have seen me smiling uncontrollably while cutting up her head with one hand. "You're a fucking monster and you know that! That's no way you'll find someone that would love a hideous beast like you!"

I immediately looked back at her. "I'm sorry? What were you just said? I didn't hear it because I was too busy texting my future wife, the only person that will love me unconditionally. So, could you just do me a favor and calm the hell down? A stressful brain is bitter and hard to eat."

Again, she screamed so loud I flinched and the others had to close their ears. "You're a fucking monster! A MONSTER, YOU HEAR THAT? AND NO ONE WILL GONNA LOVE YOU!"

I stabbed her throat with a knife I was holding. Blood flowing down her beautiful neck, and her screams changed to short, painful breaths. I lowed my head and whispered in her ear, "I'm a monster indeed. And surely no one will love such a disgusting monster like me. But you know what, it took two monsters to fall in love."

While my left hand was holding the knife in her throat, my right hand pierced through her chest and ribs to hold onto her beating heart. "Luckily, my future wife also a monster." I pulled the heart out and threw it to Toga-san that catch it gleefully.

I wiped my hands while walking out the door and Shigaraki shouting, "Where the fuck do you think you're going? Aren't you gonna eat this brain?"

"Nope, save it for dinner. I have a date tomorrow so I better sleep now. Bye!"

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**-:-**

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**To be Continue**

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**-:-**

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GREETINGS, PEOPLE!

Yes, your lazy-one-hack-of-an-author is here! Woohoo!

So…. Sorry I was late? No, so damn, damn, damn, late. I know you hate me. And I know you hate excuses, I know. So don't read if you won't.

The new semester caught me off guard. Before I know, I've been running all around coordinating things in my campus (not to mention the struggle to catch up with the entire class). Aaaand my dear precious laptop had some episodes. Again. And don't forget that I still have a mountain of books to read. And other things to write. Eugh.

But Deku and Katsumi always dancing in my mind every day—made the guilt to not continue this foolish fiction become bigger and heavier by minutes. What can I say? I love them and I'm not gonna apologize (even if I turn Izuku to be a bad guy, but who does not love the bad guy?).

So, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter like I did (after I rewrote it a few times). So… see you (I hope)?

.

With love,

Lee Audrey

(05/25/20)


	6. She Will be Loved

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki x Kirishima**

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**Summary**:

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for a girl with a broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

(Maroon 5)

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**Chapter 6: She Will be Loved**

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**#Kirishima's PoV**

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It's 3 A.M. and I was awoken by the same dream I've been having this damn whole week; about Mina in her UA High uniform, about Katsumi reading my wedding vow, and about seeing myself crying in an empty church. At first, it was depressing; then it began to makes me feel longing I would cry in my sleep; then lately I just woke up thinking that it's really happened, and started to accept reality.

Thirst brought me to the kitchen when I heard faint thumping from below the floor. That was the sound I knew very well because almost every night I would make the same noise. When I walked down the stairs to basement where we kept our sport equipment, I found Katsumi running on the treadmill with body full of sweats some of them I mistook as tears for a moment. I approached her by sitting on the bench-press seat.

"Insomnia?" I asked lightly.

She kept running and answer without looking my way, "Yeah."

"Nervous about something?"

"Kind of."

"A date?"

Only then she stopped the machine and stares at me. And because I knew her for years, I know that she's not saying anything because her pride tells her not to admit it.

She always on edge each time something big going to happen—or just when she knew she's going to do something that she's not really used to. And after all these years, the only thing that Bakugou Katsumi still can't get ahold of herself, other than talking in front the press, is going on a date—not like she ever had one, though. Still, I would never expected to hit the bull's eye.

I laughed, "Who is it?"

She still kept her mouth shuts and began to run again. "None of your business."

"Is it today?"

"What the fuck do you want, Kirishima?"

I laid my back on the bench and started pulling some weights. "If my gloomy, asexual friend getting all nervous about her upcoming date, how would I not be interested?" She mumbled something like 'what the fuck' but said nothing more. Now she's being too embarrassed she was hoping I would let the topic slips away by itself.

But even though the thought of making fun of her tempted me, I reluctantly let it down before she got really pissed. Rather than being hated by one of the only best friends I have left, it's better to strengthen the bonds instead. I called her again and proposed, "How about we go mount-climbing?" She looks my way immediately even though still doesn't stop running. "It's been a while since we've done it. Now's only around 3 A.M. so we can catch the sunrise."

She slowed the treadmill down and gradually stopped the machine again. If there's anything I could always win Katsumi over with, it's only mount-climbing—something that no one else in our circle likes to do other than us. We used to have a fixed schedule about the climb; around three times a month, always on the weekends, so much so Mina sometimes got jealous but still never willing to tag along. The reason we used to do it so often, other than the fact that both of us loves nature, that people also said that you could know a person's true nature if you climb a mountain with them—and as far my experience goes with Katsumi, it's freaking true. Her rough and prideful default-personalities shows its nature as a calm and mindful person once she stepping her foot on the mountain hiking track. That's the Katsumi that I always know and I believe would never change. And every now and then, each time I asked her to hike, that demeanor of her would appears.

"Fine." She wiped the sweats on her face with the back of her hands. "But it's only because I've been thinking to do it too, not because you asked me or anything."

I laughed again. No matter what I said, that _tsundere_-ness of her was the only one no one could ever change. "Sure."

We then doing our usual preparation before the hike: her usual sandwiches for us to eat once we reached the peak, some mineral water that I filled our bottles with, then we changes to our usual hiking clothes, grabbed our parka jackets, and wears our hiking shoes. We left the house with a text to Denki that we're going on our usual hike, in case he wakes up before we're home.

We then drove to our favorite mountain located in Yamanashi prefecture that took about one and half hour from our house in Hachioji. Even though I forbid her to drive because she's in sleep-deprived condition, but she successfully convinces me that she will try her best to sleep on our way back home; and when Bakugou Katsumi promises you something, you better believe her. I let her drives but in a condition that she wouldn't scratch the car we bought with our moneys, all five of us. She doesn't reply to that but by the way she secretly smiles, I know that she listens.

We chose this red Range Rover because, other than the cool and manly design, it also so comfortable to use both on patrols and family picnic. The five of us traveled to so many places with this car before—from Hokkaido to Okinawa, you name it; we've been there. Most of the times I would be the one driving with Katsumi or Sero besides me as navigator while Denki and Mina singing to whatever songs from the stereo on the back seat. But every now and then Katsumi would take my place while I would be sleeping or joining the karaoke pools. In that scenario, she would grumpily commentating how horrendous our singing voices were but still secretly laughing and singing along.

And even though she has a hard personality, her driving ability actually very smooth I could doze off easily even though we're moving almost 100 km/hours on highway. I know it's very dangerous to let a sleep-deprived person drive in this velocity, but she looked like she enjoys herself so much. I mean, who can blame her? The empty early-morning roads, the chilly and fresh morning air that came through the open windows, her Maroon 5's old-time favorite 'She Will be Loved' from the stereo that she hums slowly—man, I would also enjoy my time if I was the one behind the wheel. Not to mention it's very relaxing to see her calm demeanor with her golden hair waves from the wind and dim city lights glowing on her face. For a moment, I bet both of us forgot about the horrible incident that happened and just back being our old and carefree selves. It's not a crime to moves on, right?

Wait, what? How could I move on just like that?

Before I could really think that over, my eyes felt so heavy. While I'm entirely blaming the whiskey I drank last night, who knows since when I suddenly fell asleep and barely woke up when Katsumi stopped the car.

I have to literally punched my face to open my eyes. "We're here already?"

She looked at me in confusion. "Yeah. Were you asleep?"

"Maybe I dozed off." I shrugged my shoulders a little.

"Figures." She giggled lightly. Wait, what? "C'mon. We're racing with the sun."

I followed her out the of car after I grabbed my bag from the backseat. Our favorite hiking tracks are one of the most challenging all over Japan: we're going to hike both Mount Kentoku and Mount Douman at once. The distance to the peak was about 11 kilometers, and the elevation change is 1186 meters. When most people do it in two days, we're going to run through the woods to make it just half a day—because, you know, there's a date to catch up with—both hiking and going down the mountains. But it's not a big deal for people with quirks like us; most of the times, our hikes were all about endurance than sight-seeing. So, yeah, better to prepare myself before doing one of the hardest work-out I might ever do.

Katsumi seems in a really good mood, because she's already taking a position like before one would run in a marathon. I joined by her side in front of the mountain gate, slightly stretch my body up, checking my shoe laces, and fix the position of a small bag on my waist. When I was ready, I looked at her and said, "Two hours to Kentoku's summit?"

She snorted, her eyes clearly looking down on me. "What? You're rusty already? Make it one."

I smiled confidently. "Sure, as you wish."

The next second we already started running like crazy. We ignored all the safe and official hiking tracks, and going wild with jumping and little bit of flying here and there. I crashed some giant rocks that got in my ways, while I could also see Katsumi blowing some trees or smashing some stones to pieces even though we're trying not to over-doing it like we used to. And after we passed some herds of mountain deer and almost fell from the cliffs so many times, we successfully passed Mount Douman's summit after thirty minutes and Mount Kentoku's in exact one hour after we started.

There were no breaks, not even a second to breath. Once we stopped running, we lost our strength to stand up and immediately laid on the ground while gasping our lungs greedily. Only then I could feel my sweat running down my body like rain, and my heart thumping so loud it hurts my ribcage. When I looked at Katsumi, she was looking up at the sky that suddenly has changed to brighter and brighter colors from behind Mount Fuji. The gradation was so beautiful and mesmerizing I almost tears up.

We stayed silenced until the sky turned completely baby blue; while I bet she got caught up in her thought, I was just focusing myself to every little details that my five senses could feels. The fresh wind that caressing my skin lightly, the chirping of the birds from afar, the scent of morning dew on grasses, the Ultra-HD green scenery in front of me, and the warm blood that flows around my body. When was the last time I enjoyed myself this much? Before the incident? Before Mina?

Katsumi suddenly sat up and fiercely drank the water from her bottle. Then she said, "Wait here. I'm gonna check on something."

Suddenly I got a bad feeling. "What? What are you gonna do?"

She stood up. "Climbing," she said, then pointing a rocky cliff just few meters beside us. "That shit."

The sharp rocks and slope cliff with height about fifty meters really sent shivers down my spine. "You'll… gonna use your quirk, right?"

"Then what's the point of doing this?"

The looks on my face must have been so funny because I was like, "Are you nuts? We don't have the equipment!"

But she just gave me a smile like it will reassure me and said, "Catch me when I fall, will ya?" then took over on her own to the said cliff.

I immediately rushed to her and grabbed her hand. "At least give me some good damn explanations before you doing something reckless again, Katsumi! Or else what can I say to Denki if anything happens to you?"

She holds my hand and explains calmly, "Sometimes… I felt like there's a monster inside me. This monster could take over my consciousness, but I can't control them out of my free will."

"So you want to defy death to lure them out?"

"If I fall, then it means the monster wouldn't come out." Again, she smiled and even patted my chest. "That's why you're here, Shitty-hair." She broke free from my grip and suddenly the bad feeling I've been having really gave me a dread. When she walks away, I couldn't help the thought of losing her because the looks in her eyes were the same like the last time I saw on Mina's.

She… looks like she was ready to leave everything behind.

With heavy heart, I watched her climb the cliff. Without any equipment, she could fall to her death anytime if she really refuses to use her power until the said monster comes out.

I shouted her name, and she stopped moving for a while. "You don't have to do this."

Without looking my way, she shouted back, "No, I need to. It's my redemption."

"For what?"

"Been feeding the monster all this time."

The closer she got to the top, the more she almost lost her grips and footings, the louder my heart beats like it's about to burst. Despite all my efforts to talk her down, she reached the top nonetheless after twenty minutes that felt like decades. Relieves immediately swallow me whole. But when I was about to think that we had enough stunts for today, she pulled a handgun and shot her own head.

No sound so it means no bullet. I immediately realized that she was just playing Russian Roulette out of the blue without even considering my own feeling. But even though she escaped the death, she looks disappointed. I was about to call for her to come the hell down, maybe even scold her a little, but instead she free-falls from the cliff without any fucking intention to activate her quirk.

I thought I might get a heart-attack.

Everything then feels like in slow-motion: the sun glows behind her right when she was falling down, my instinct that got the best of me, my legs that jumped on their own to the nearby stones, and my hands that catch right before she got too close to the ground. After that was all fast and furious and chaos: I caught her, hold her tight in my arms, activated my quirk the Unbreakable, then we crashed and rolling down the hill like snowball. When we finally had the moment to grasped the situation, we were still trying to catch our breaths and lying side by side.

Really, if I'm going to be mad, this is the time. But I still considered her feeling and instead said, "Are you okay?"

"How could I?" she said, "I failed."

That answer really got me pissed. "The fuck, Katsumi? You almost died and that's what you're worried about?"

"Off course I am! That's the point of doing this!"

"You mean by attempting suicide? You think I didn't see what you're trying to do with your old handgun?"

She sat up beside me, breaths still wild. "Best Jeanist said that my monster would only appears when I was faced with something so traumatizing or emotionally incomprehensible. And dying is the easiest way to do that. But it's not like something happened, anyway."

"For the love of God, Katsumi!" I unconsciously road, "When are you gonna stop being so obsessed with dying? Could you just live your life and be grateful that you're still alive? There were so many people that would love to have another chance in life but they just couldn't! Why don't you realize that?"

"Because I realize that shit that's why I'm doing this, shitass! There's so many people that could make this world a better place but instead the world got a fucked-up person like me!"

Her words hit right through my mind. "Don't tell me that you're also asking why you're not the one who died on that accident."

"If you already know then shut up."

I sighed. With few deep breaths, I tried to slowed the wild beating of my heart and cool my mind. "Maybe… just maybe, because the God still have something for us?"

"Which god are you talking about? I don't believe in any."

"Any god, then. Any one." I sighed again. "Whichever god it is, they already gave you a second chance. Why don't you use it wisely? Maybe you could make the world a better place yourself. You hate depending on other people, right?"

She calmed her breaths down, looking at the warm and soft morning sun. Her sweats making way down her face and for a moment I mistook them as tears again. Somehow, I could understand what she feels, but still doesn't have a clue about what she's been thinking. And somehow, it just feels natural to patted her head. "You're gonna be okay. Believe me."

And only then, her real tears fell down.

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When we were on our way home, a random radio station reported a piece of shocking news: that Endeavor, the number one hero since All Might died eighteen years ago, also has passed away just this morning. There were no further details about the cause of death other than he was 'died peacefully' and that there's going to be a funeral this afternoon in his family's residence.

Katsumi was about to sleep on the passenger's seat when we suddenly received that news. Then after a few minutes of silence between us, her phone buzzed and she was looking at the screen with an empty face for a while.

"What is it?" I said, tried my best to be careful. "Something about your date?"

"Yeah," she answered slowly, "He said he got something important to do."

"Hmm." Now I could clearly saw the disappointment in her face even though she was looking out the window. "Wanna stop by the office? Maybe Best Jeanist has something for us."

"No need. He also texted me to come to Endeavor's funeral."

I was about to reply to that, but somehow the mood was kind of inappropriate to lighten up by some trivial and meaningless words. The clear sky that suddenly filled by rainy clouds made the atmosphere even grimmer, and the chilly mountain air from the car's open windows made it harder for us to feel comfortable. Katsumi slowly sunken in her seat, holding her own body, and tried her best to sleep. I changed the radio news into a song that somehow got left behind from Mina's playlist: Zedd feat Foxes, Clarity, acoustic version. And after a few minutes, I could hear she snores lightly.

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The black suit gave me chills and an unshakeable nauseous feeling. Never once in my life I associated this kind of clothing with anything other than depressing, sorrowful, or complicated things. If anything, I would really like to never wear them again—but here I am, in front of the mirror, hair down, reminiscing the same living nightmare that I have been trying so hard to fight back.

Denki would attend the funeral with his boyfriend—apparently, all heroes that somehow have connection whatsoever to the Todoroki family were all invited. And considering how big of an agency the Todorokis has, I might expect to see almost all heroes in Tokyo, some of them are the really famous ones, and off course some of the government officials.

That left me with Katsumi alone in the house, with she looking from the door of my room, already dressed up with her mother's old black dress. I turned around and about to praise her look, but who am I kidding? She would also hate to wear her second favorite color in a situation like this.

"You're ready?" I walked out of the room and she tossed me the car keys.

"Let's get going. I wanna sleep in the car."

I can't tell her how many times I have seen her on that dress, because that means admitting that I also have been having dreams about her other than Mina. Once we got in the car, she immediately fell asleep and not budging until we arrived at the said destination. Actually, the Todoroki residence was not so far away from our house, because it's still in a part of Tokyo that located on the other side of Hachioji, and only needs about forty minutes of driving.

I woke her up lightly and we walked down from the parking lot to the big Japanese traditional house with so many people already gathered around, most of them I could easily recognize as fellow heroes. There were also some of the media, but they were only permitted to stay from outside the house gate. Inside, we were greeted with a classic _wabi-sabi _style garden that stretched from the gate to the main entrance. Once we were inside the house, we wait for our turn to give our respects to the deceased by burning incense and prays a little in front of his massive photograph. Actually, neither of us knows Endeavor personally, so basically, I couldn't pray much for him except for that he will get what he deserves in the afterlife—both the bad and the good karmas. And for Katsumi, I didn't even know what she was praying about considering her atheistic beliefs.

After that we would greet the remaining family just for formalities, some might even give them condolences money. But the Todorokis already so rich it should be the other way around, so we both didn't give them any. The only family members present were the wife of Endeavor, Todoroki Rei, and her only remaining daughter, Todoroki Shoko. They said the other children were already dead from some horrible accident, but no one knows for sure. And now with the patriarch passed away, I suggest that Todoroki Shoko would be the one being the head of the family—considering that her mother's health was also in unstable conditions since years ago.

The young Lady Todoroki was everything but ordinary—she's a philanthropist, an excellent actress, exceptionally beautiful, and not to mention, has more than one quirks that would make her a great hero only if she's interested in that line of job. But she's not. Her face has emblazoned each and every kind of screen in Japan since she graduated from UA's business course. And just recently I knew that she was on the same graduating year with us. This kind of thing sometimes makes me think about how small the world is….

When I was face to face with her giving my respect, I could see how so many people adore her. That oval face was as white and flawless as in the old Japanese traditional painting—calm, graceful, and somehow fragile; the kind of woman you want to protect. Her monochromatic eyes were a little bit hidden under the shadows of her red and white long bangs. But nevertheless, I could feel her stabile emotion, like she actually not really sad her father just died.

We met with Best Jeanist outside the house and he asked us to spare some of our time. Apparently, with the death of the number one hero, there will be some changes in the Japanese Hero Billboard Chart Ranking. Possibly that the lower ranks would be also shifted to one rank higher. But with great fame comes great responsibilities. The burden and obligation to save people and bring reassurance to the public becomes even heavier. Especially for the top five, because they have to bear the name of Symbol of Peace—a title left by All Might that until this second no one could really ever holds it alone. And being in the fifth position from last year, this news clearly becomes a big trouble for Katsumi, considering basically how shy and anti-social she is.

And just as I thought, when I looked at her, her emotionless expression somehow felt even darker.

Best Jeanist left us to talks to the other pro-heroes and I left Katsumi for a while to grab us some drinks. That's when I noticed that the young Lady Todoroki was talking to someone with fancy suits and green curly hair in the corner of the hallway. I would just ignore the scene altogether if it's not because of how close and intimate they were talking and standing to each other.

Who was he? I'm not really into showbiz gossips or anything, but I might hear it once or twice when Denki took control of the TV; and if I'm not mistaken, Todoroki Shoko already had a fiancée, another successful actor, and he definitely doesn't have green hair.

Oh, shit. They were suddenly hugging and… what? Kissing?

Anyway, I didn't want to be caught staring at them so I quickly grabbed the drinks and rushed back to Katsumi. But when I was about to hand her the drink, her cold eyes were locked somewhere else, in the direction I was from, and when I turned back, both the young Lady Todoroki and the green-haired man were still so intimate to each other.

Oh, I get it now.

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We went home after that one drink and she still kept silent all the way back. She might be pretending to sleep, but I knew very well that she was just having so much on her mind. Not like I'm not interested, but I feel like asking her right now would make things even worse. So I let her be, and who knows since when she really fell asleep.

Once we got home and I parked the car in the garage, she was about to open the door, but I immediately said, "It's about the Hero Ranking, right?" She looked at me. "You actually don't want it."

She really tried so hard to laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. Being the number one hero was always my dream."

"Is it still is?"

Her expression immediately back to the cold and defensive versions. Again, I never thought that I might hit the bull's eyes. "That's none of your concern, Kirishima," she replied, then opened the car's door.

"Then it was about him, right?" She froze, and I quickly added, "The one kissing Todoroki Shoko."

Without looking at me, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That guy was supposed to see you today, right?" She's not saying anything, and it really creeps me out when someone like Bakugou Katsumi remains silent in a conversation. Then, carefully, slowly, I asked the million Yen question: "Do you like him?"

Again, another uncomfortable and cold silence was between us for the whole next one minute. Finally, she said with a very tiny voice, "I don't know." And that's enough to blow my mind.

Because never was, as long as I know her, Bakugou Katsumi had a romantic feeling for someone, **ever**.

She immediately rushed into the house and closed the front door with a loud bang. I didn't know what was gotten into me, but I also rushed to chase her. When I was already inside the house, without any light on, Katsumi suddenly grabbed my collar and pulled me closer to her. And she kissed me. An awkward, simple, and rushed kiss on the lips.

I absolutely have no idea what was just happened, so I decided to do nothing. Only when she pulled off the kiss, I dared to ask, "Why?" and she replied with, "To check on something." Then she took a step back, one hand on my chest, "Thanks for today, Kirishima," and left to her room—never to be seen for the rest of the day.

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**TO BE CONTINUE**

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Author's note:

YEAH AND WE GOT A KIRIBAKU SCENE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. Sorry for the short notice.

So, while I obviously set the story for DekuBaku, but if the plotline itself revolves to be like this, what can I say? (actually, **a lot**, but yeah)

So let's make polling! **Who's gonna be better to be with Katsumi: Izuku or Eijirou?**

Please, **PLEASE** help me answer this question, dear readers. I'm so sad the review box is so empty TT_TT

.

Sincerely,  
Lee Audrey  
(05/29/2020)


	7. In Your Eyes

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki**

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**Summary**:

You always try to hide the pain

You always know just what to say

I always look the other way

I'm blind, I'm blind

In your eyes

You lie, but I don't let it define you

Oh, define you

(The Weeknd ft. Doja Cat)

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**Chapter 7: In Your Eyes**

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**#Izuku's PoV**

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**Note: Any BDSM—and other—references will be explained at the end of this chapter**

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She was so desperate when we first met. The main hall in that **BDSM club** in Shinjuku was so dark with only a few dim red lights here and there. I was just enjoying a **play** performed by a beautiful professional **dominatrix** with two of her professional **slaves**—a man and a woman, each wearing sexy underwear that barely covers anything—using a variety of** toys**. Suddenly someone grabbed my arm from behind, and without any _**tate-mae**_, the mysterious ladypulled me to the corner of the room. Confusion still surrounded me when I tried to see what's behind her black devil mask, and I found her black and blue eyes stared back at me with determination. With a straight and clear voice, she asked, "Are you a **dom**?" which revealed so many things that unsaid.

The first thing that I noticed, beside her tight, black, leather dress that screaming she was looking for a **sub**, was her monochromatic eyes and hair. I realized who she was that instant. No one on their right mind in Japan wouldn't notice Todoroki Shoko if she stands just inches from you. And for her question, I was like, "I can **switch**," with a big grin across my face.

And she just likes, "Good, cause I'm looking for a man who can do both."

Okay, before we got too far for the action with me being tied up on an **iron bed **in her **dungeon** and stuff, I'm going to explains what just happened.

I was just landed from my flight from Spain, just so happened attending some billionaire private party that turned out to be an **SM community** gathering where all of the participants has to wear a mask, and just enjoying an SM play in the **public display** when the Japanese Actress of the Year asked me the million-dollar question.

After that we kissed; just a simple kiss to know whether we can be compatible or not. And we left the party to headed to a fancy restaurant above a certain hotel not far from there. She reserved the entire restaurant just so we can have the **negotiation** easier without worrying about the paparazzi or gossip journalist because apparently, she's like the Angelina Jolie of Japan—everyone adores her and every media loves her private life. No one would dare to imagine that the pure and angelic actress who raised to popularity for her role as an obedient and mellow daughter of a _**daimyo**_, would attend some shady party and just picked a random shady guy. If this story leaks, it would be huge.

Anyway, with two glasses of red wine on the table between us, we proceeded with our agreement deal that somehow has been prepared along with the reservation. A waiter came and hand me the papers on leather covers, contains the details of the **BDSM** **session** that we would conduct. After a brief introduction and some discussion about our interest and stuff, we finally agree about certain things and also disagree about some of the others.

We immediately set straight to her dungeon located in the same hotel. Because both of us already **in the scene** for quite some time, we went all the way even though it was our first time with each other.

What happened that night was magical and super amazing. Her abilities and techniques were beyond all of my previous partners combined. And apparently, she was also felt the same, so we agreed to continue our play to the next session, and also the one after that, and after that, and after that, that at a certain point I woke up next to her with rope marks all over my naked body, just a day after her father's funeral.

Her tranquil breaths showed from her bareback, I guess still lost in her seemingly peaceful dream. I pulled the blanket higher up to her neck and dragged my feet just to reach the bathroom. Man, how good she was at tying someone up. Not only she did it with grace, but she also satisfied me with the right amount of tightness on each knot. Call me a **masochist**—and I am—but I wouldn't be satisfied without my body being tied up and whipped so hard my body cracks. When I poured the water onto my skin, the scars sent me painful joy that excites me more and more. Last night was the best among all of our sessions because for a split and fatal second, she lost her mind in emotion and tortured me harder than she was supposed to. And instead of screaming out the **safeword**, I begged her for more.

I found my clothes at the same place and ways I folded them and walked outside the dungeon. From the massive window in the living room, I could see the sun that already so high in the sky. Well, looks like we really took our time to heal our exhausted bodies and souls.

Inside the kitchen's refrigerator, a brain was served on a Japanese traditional platter. I brought it to the dining table, and slowly munching it while occasionally looking at the television. The late number one hero's funeral was all over the news, and the only station that wasn't doing so was broadcasting this year's favorite drama with Shoko-san cast as the main character. Jesus, how much power a dynasty could hold over the television empire?

She walked out the dungeon one hour later when I was still eating the brain while holding my phone up to video-calling Iida. She wore an elegant, white, summer dress and her make-up was on point and sat beside me after she grabbed a bowl of cold soba from the refrigerator.

When I ended the call, she asked without even looking my way, "Is that my father?"

And with no suspicion whatsoever, I immediately answered, "No, it was my assistant."

"No, I mean on your plate."

I bursted a laugh. "Oh, yeah, it's your father. I hope you don't mind I eat him for brunch."

She wasn't even shrugged her shoulder. "Not at all. That's why I gave it to you," she said flatly. "Anyway, thanks for the lesson, Midoriya-san."

"You're very welcome, **Mistress** Shoko. Ah, and your binding just got better. Keep it up."

She broke a simple smile on her cold expression. "I'll make sure to bind you tighter next time."

"Yes, please."

After she finished her soba, she immediately stood up and washed the dishes. She was scheduled to have a shoot for a movie today. When she was about to leave the room, she looked at me from behind her shoulder, gave another simple smile, and said, "Thanks for the session, slave."

"Anytime, Mistress."

And I spent another thirty minutes finishing my meal and **clean the dungeon** before heading out for work.

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**#Katsumi's PoV**

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**Spoiler alert: Captain Marvel (2019)**

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In my entire twenty-seven years of existence, the only time I think the sun hates me and the feelings got mutual, was when I was too drunk the other night and woke up at noon my head spun all crazy and my eyes got all blurry. But now, I can say for sure that waking up feeling worthless and found no meaning in continuing my life was also another situation when I got all irritated at the innocent sun that just doing his job.

Don't blame a fully grown-up woman for being a pessimistic emo bitch. If you're human past twenty, you surely understand how it feels when nothing feels right and no one understands you, even your own self. In reality, life always has its own unique and wicked ways to tortures me—mostly by taking everything that I hold dear and raised my hopes so high it hurt like hell when they let me down. But, hey, life's hurt, right? Those pains brought fears, and fears activated our primordial survival instinct. At the end of the day, all the pains were just how your body and mind keeping you to stay alive. And honestly, I don't know if I could really appreciate that.

Got off the bed and dragging my foot to the kitchen, I was thinking about what would it feels to be dead. Is it warm, or cold? Is it dark, or bright? Maybe the answers depend on each individuals' sins, but if it really up to me, I wouldn't mind either way. But why am I still alive, though? Was it because of my survival instinct that much stronger than the others? Then am I some kind of a superhuman (yeah, I know it's a silly question to ask in a society that heavily depends on heroes), or just a pathetic human being that was hurt so bad I got scared of everything? But, hey, seriously, what's the meaning of being alive if you already lost all purpose in life?

I opened the fridge and just swallow a box of orange juice straight from its box until it was empty, slammed the box to the kitchen table, and wiped the dripped from my mouth using the back of my hand.

Heck, I know I'm not a perfect person, so obviously I'm not saying that I already finished all my duties on Earth so I can just leave everything behind without remorse. If anything, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who has the biggest responsibilities, at least among my very small and intimate gang. Sero, Mina, and Kirishima were already orphans before they even entered UA, and Denki was disowned when he came out to his family.

Wait… is that it? The reason I still couldn't die yet was that I still have someone that depends on me—my mom?

I mean, _was that the fucking reason I unconsciously strived to survive?_

Heck, I don't know what happened to me but I just felt like crying. Fuck. Thank heaven nobody was here. I bet both Denki and Kirishima already went for their work, leaving the only suspended hero alone at home, being all miserable and pathetic peacefully.

And you know what, being all emotional straight after waking up made me starving. I opened the fridge again and pulled out almost every food and ingredient I could find; cheese, tomatoes, pasta, pizza—well, apparently our house never short of this junk food—bread, milk, frozen chicken breasts, some vegetables… heck, what the fuck am I supposed to make? Well, considering the available ingredients, I surely cannot make something fancy, but I absolutely can turn all of them to decent Italian meals. At this point in life, I no longer care about plate presentations or such. Fuck Japanese or any other people that decorates their food until they got cold. My starving stomach never judges a food based on their looks but only on their freshness and warmth.

Once I got my full plate of pasta with grilled chicken breast, reheat pizza, and a full bottle of Kirishima's whiskey, I landed on the couch in the living room and turned on the TV. Boy, how long has it been since I started avoiding this thing? It almost felt so nostalgic when I heard a reporter talking on a channel that just emerged. Found nothing but the news about Endeavor's death, I switch to watch an exaggerated house-wife drama on a movie channel with the Todoroki princess as the main character, seem ridiculously flirty with her on-cast lover slash real-life fiancée. Well, it wouldn't be so bad to see cheesy romance once in a while. Even though I highly doubt I would learn anything out of this, at least it would be a good platform to remind me how to laugh.

But, seriously though, the cheap shop opera doesn't erase the quarter-life crisis that I'm having. If anything, it made me want to barf then kill myself even more. I mean, look at those melancholic monochrome eyes when she bawls the second her lover left her. Like… what the fuck? How come a person could love someone that much they even lost any sense of shame to cry in the middle of a buzzing street? Yeah, it was romantic and shit, but not logical for me.

Heck, even the title got me cringed; 「永遠にあなたと」, or _Forever with You._ Yeah, I should've known.

I immediately changed the channel to HBO in hope of finding anything watchable. And lucky me, there was MCU's Captain Marvel airing. I then prepared myself to spend the next two hours stuck up on the couch with pizzas, cigarettes, and whiskeys while trying to absorb the story. Hey, don't get me wrong. I've seen it before, but I must admit I wasn't really into it because I was so dead tired from the previous mission, I dozed off a few times at the movie theater seat. Everyone on my gang was squeaking about how similar I was to the main character, especially regarding our quirks. But I was just nodded and shrugged them off without giving too much shit. Nothing much I remembered about that night, except I got passed out instantly the second I hit my bed. Ever since then the work was just mindbogglingly hectic I wasn't even had the moment to think about a fictional hero that has so many similarities to me. But now I finally have too much time on my hands, I can say I'm ready to see how much of truth their words could hold.

Right after the movie started, the female lead was awoken with a literal blue-blood on her nose. Ah, yes, I remembered Denki said something about alien race and shit. I tried to ignore that thought for a moment but, when the scene revealed that she was just having a bad dream and woke up clenching her fist that ignites some weird energy, I suddenly could relate to the spiritual level.

Then the scene when she asked another character to sparring exercise, reminded me about how Kirishima and I always exchanging punches and kicks whenever we're too fired up from mission and couldn't sleep. And even the way the male character said to Captain Marvel—well, I guess that's her name, right?—when she was about to punch him with her laser power, "_Control it,"_ was the same words Kirishima always said to me whenever I was on my limit to burst.

And speaking of him, what the fuck did I do to him? Did I _really_ kiss him? For fuck sake, _I really kissed my late-best friend's fiancée_? FOR FUCKING REAL?

Shit, now I don't know what kind of face should I make the next time I see him.

"_There's nothing more dangerous for a warrior than emotions."_ Yeah, that's something Best Jeanist would say to me. In fact, each time I destroyed buildings on rescue missions more than I had to, he would almost certainly say that before went off dealing with the police and insurance agencies.

What intrigued me the most was, when the scene shows her past in a series of flashbacks, where she experienced so many kinds of gender-based discrimination throughout her life, I can clearly say again, that I relate to her deeply.

I mean, being in the first trial year of UA opening its hero course for female students, you can't expect the boys, the teachers, or even the institution itself to treat you equally. The prejudices and stigmas regarding women being weaker than men were still there, suffocated me throughout my high-school life. Calling me names, encouraging me to give up, saying that I didn't belong here, that I wasn't strong enough, that I would never get my hero license moreover being an actual hero, that I would never become like All Might, were just a little glimpse of the sexist things that I have ever experienced.

"_You know why they're calling it cockpit, don't you?" _Yeah, the same douchebag-looking guy ever said to me, "You know why they're calling us 'hero', not 'heroin', don't you?" or something along that line—and I remembered I punched him so hard he lost his front teeth. Was it when I was still in UA… or after I became a pro-hero? Fuck it, I don't care.

And I also remembered some scum villains ever tied me up with metal shackles then I escaped and kicked their ass in the same fashion she did. Wow, good old memory.

Ah, yeah, the motorbike-stealing scene. Reminded me about how often I used to snuck-out the house and rode Kirishima's Harley-Davidson without asking his permission first. Even though he surely knew I would never sell it, he always got angry nonetheless.

When that bastard-looking commander of her, Yon-Rogg, talked to her on the galactic-connected phone, "_Stop. Remember your training. Know your enemy. It could be you. Do not let your emotions override your judgment_," yeah, again, I can fucking relate. Hell, almost all of my male-hero acquaintance ever said that to me at one point or another. And more ever than not, I swallowed them like hard pills, every time.

But then Nick Fury was talking about his rookie subordinate that ignored the command and let them escape, he said, "_I guess he got the feeling. Using his guts against the order, it's a really hard thing to do. But it's what keeps us human_." And Captain Marvel chimed in, "_I get in trouble for that. A lot_." Does that mean despite all of that, she's still a human? Because, hell, I've been feeling less-human so many times because of the same thing.

And the hardest thing that hit me was when Carol said, "_You don't know me. You have no idea who I am. I don't even know who I am!_" Heck, that's the sentences I could relate the most. All this time I struggled with an identity crisis—as a pro-hero, as a daughter, a mentally disturbed person, a friend, a _woman_. Sometimes, each identity over-lapped with one another. Sometimes I even question myself whether it was right to pursue a career as a pro-hero in a heavily male-dominated work-environment, while most women around my age already had a steady and peaceful life as a wife and a mother.

But when Maria Rambeau, Carol's friend, said, "_You are Carol Danvers. You are a woman on that black-box that risking her life to do the right thing. My best friend, who supported me as a mother and a pilot when no one else did. You are smart and funny, and a huge pain in the ass. And you are the most powerful person I knew, way before you could shoot fire from your fists_." Boy! How could I not cry? That's almost the same thing Mina said to me when I was sure as hell to committed suicide, a few years back, after I repeatedly lost control over my power and accidentally hurt people. And to this day, I still remembered the way she hugged me tight and cried together with me on my shoulder, ensuring me that everything's gonna be okay, and human makes mistakes, while wholeheartedly trying to stop my wrist from bleeding.

Glad nobody here right now. Hate to show them my ugly crying face.

That aside, all of the self-discovery and sky-fighting scenes reminded me, when was the last time I flew? Using my power one hundred percent? Minus when I was jumping off the cliff, my guess is when I fought that mysterious villain that threw buildings on me at the shopping-district accident.

The bad memories that tagged along with it aside, when she finally could kick her two-faced commander's ass and said, "_I have nothing to prove to you_," then dragged him by the collar through the desert, boy, that was hella satisfying.

The movie ended with me laughing at Fury and the Flerken-cat, Goose. That was not the best emotionally roller-coaster movie that MCU ever made, but it surely could boost my mood up—at least high enough for me to stretched my body out and walked to the veranda.

Even though the sun was already quite tilted to the West, I could see him high in the sky. Should I try to reach him again? Without a second thought, I pulled out my hero costume from the closet and jumped off the veranda—now, while activating my quirk.

Maybe, just _maybe_, I could find the reason to live again.

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Now it's not really hard for me to imagine how I looked like when I'm activating my quirk—just like Captain Marvel, the Foton energy emitted from every inch of my body, and with the right push, I'm heading straight to the glorious, clear afternoon sky.

The first one hundred meters was just me trying to compete with the tallest building around the neighborhood. The next two hundred I was already above Mount Fuji and flying through some heavy clouds. Then the next few hundred was just me being faster and faster as the air got thinner and colder. As I flew past a passenger plane, I immediately knew that I already passed the troposphere and entering the stratosphere. I accelerated my speed as I was passed a military jet and heading to the ozone area where finally the temperature was a lot warmer.

How much higher I would go, you say? Let's see, I've been passed the stratosphere before, so this time I want to challenge myself even more—not straight to space, though, because I'm not sure whether my power could take me as easily as Captain Marvel. But, heck yeah, I'd like to try.

I pushed myself even harder this time as I passed the stratosphere and suddenly the temperature got even colder than before. In the mesosphere, where most meteors burn up, the temperature was around -90 degrees Celsius, and the air pressure was even thinner than the sea level, I could feel myself trying so hard to breathe. I could pass out at any moment—but heck, I think I was too stubborn to give up at this point—and instead, holding my breath the best I could as I flew higher and faster.

When I could finally recognize a satellite with my bare eyes, I knew I already entered the thermosphere, and instinctively prepared my body and soul for a layer of air so thin I could feel the tip of my fingers were frozen.

I can do this. Captain Marvel can even travel the galaxies if she using one hundred percent of her power. Then I just have to do the same right? If I calculate my power, right now I was just using not even half of it. Going sixty percent, I clenched my fist harder to numb the cold. Going seventy percent, my body got warmer and warmer as the air absorbed higher X-rays energy and UV radiation from the sun. Going eighty percent, my body burning from inside-out. Wait, is it going to be okay? Am I gonna come back to earth alive? Shit, I could feel my skin got burnt. Going ninety percent, the heat was unbearable it even sent signals to my brain that I was in danger, and those signals ended up in my every nerve telling me to be afraid.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Before I could pass the 100 degree Celsius barrier, my physical survival mechanism urged me to breath, and with no oxygen to inhale to, my body automatically saved the remaining energy to staying alive—cutting off my flight power entirely to make a thicker barrier around my body as I free-falling from the height of around 100 kilometers above the sea level. At this point, I couldn't even muster up the courage and energy to fight gravity. I fell faster then I flew. The pressure burnt me hotter than when I was passing through.

Suddenly I remembered some silly daily things, like how Denki always burnt the toasts each time he tried to give us a nice gesture of making us breakfast; how Kirishima used to always screamed 'manly this', 'manly that', it started to get so annoying; how Mina would always use me as her make-up tutorial mannequin; and how Sero and I would have a good and deep conversation about the silliest and dumbest things…. Hell, am I gonna see them again?

I didn't remember much after that, except that I was so tired at some point I thought, '_Oh, so this is how it feels to dying._'

And suddenly, I was plunged into the open sea.

The contrast coldness that I felt to my burning body suddenly snapped my sanity back to reality. Even though I was fully aware of where I was and what was around me, I still couldn't command myself to open my eyes, moreover swimming for the surface.

As I sunk deeper, I couldn't help to think that the water was wrapping my body in the same kind gesture as the mother's womb would for her fetus. The burning sunset rays were nothing than a perk of light at the end of an endless tunnel, far away from my reach. It was beautiful, soothing, spiritual, yet so thrillingly scary I was wondering whether I couldn't move because I was too ready to die or too afraid to see my death-ripper approaching as a large fish silhouette swimming swiftly towards me.

Oh, no. I think I just coughed out my last breath.

Apparently, I'm not that ready to die….

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Yet, the first thing that I saw when I opened my eyes again, was a giant black-and-white face with large teeth in a massive mouth so close to my nose, and I could help to felt a little disappointed.

"Thank heaven, she's alive!" Screamed that face suddenly, his voice almost blew my ears and successfully jolted my body. "Jeanist, she's alive!"

And suddenly I just got a very, very bad feeling.

Like a mother looking for her daughter in _**Nichoume**_, my blonde boss ran through the crowd of people that were staring at me, looking all panic to the length of pushing Gang Orca—who just inches from me—aside. Here it comes the lecture….

"Oh my God, Bakugou, I'm glad you're okay!" Best Jeanist suddenly swapped me into his arms, and hold me so tight I didn't know the pain was actually from my skin that burning or my bones that aching.

What he did was surprised the shit out of me. I genuinely thought he would get angry, instead, he gave me the warmest hug and earnest tears after Mina's. I could feel nor move my hands, so I just broke a simple smile.

But after I got the first treatment from the hospital and somehow ended up at his office though, the shit got real.

"Really, Bakugou," said my boss as he walks around the room and slowly pinching his forehead. "How could you be so irresponsible? You're an adult, working pro-hero! And without an active license to even wear the costume, you were trying to go to space? Do you understand what you got yourself into this time? It's gonna be a huge scandal for a top-four hero to be so reckless. If a hero couldn't even save themselves, how could they save others? Thank God no one got hurt and no facility destroyed. Or else I didn't know anymore what I gotta do with you."

I took a deep sighed and rolled my eyes. "But it's not like there's something else I can do. You banned me from work, but you also told me to conquer my 'other self'. So I tried!"

"And have you succeeded?"

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think you need to see a therapist instead of causing more trouble." And from behind his breath, he said, "At least you were strong enough to not let the atmosphere burnt you to crisp. Ah, if only you could put that incredible power to good use."

That's it. I snapped. "Look, stop treating me like I'm a useless, crazy woman! I'm _not_! Just give me a regular job, like patrol or investigation mission or something, so I can put this massive power to good use!"

He looks hesitant for some moments. Then, with a deep breath, he sighed a heavy "fine" and called out for his secretary.

A normal-looking guy then entered the room—wearing suit and tie and everything a regular salaryman would. That guy stared at me with shock and confusion, before turned his head to Best Jeanist and said, "Yes, Sir?"

Wait, who is this guy? Was he new? How come he didn't even know me? I never put much attention to extras, but I also didn't expect things to be like this.

Best Jeanist replied, "Do we have any request for Bakugou here?"

And that guy immediately looking at his tablet. "Ah… so far we only have one."

That's the only thing I wanted to hear. "What is it?"

"It's a clothing photoshoot. It's for—"

"A fucking what?"

That guy looked a little irritated, but as soon as he saw my pissed face, he swallowed them back. "A photoshoot. Like models. It's for a certain fashion magazine—a prestigious one, I could say. And the pay is good."

I crossed my arms above my chest and raised an eyebrow. "How good?"

"Enough to cover the damages you caused at the previous incident, and maybe still have some left to hire you a lawyer—you know, in case anyone would ever sue you," explained Best Jeanist immediately.

Hm, interesting. I do hate cameras and media, but with everything that's been going on, I don't really mind wasting a few hours with silly poses for some large sum of money.

"What kind of clothing?" I asked. If I remembered correctly, a lot of heroes have been in the fashion industry lately. I knew because Denki and Mina collect tons of magazines that merged heroes and fashion in one page.

"It's women underwear."

Then that's enough to snap me back to reality. "What. The. Fuck!" I unconsciously roared, "Who do you think I am? I'm Supernova, the only female hero in the top-ten Hero Billboard—not a fucking porn star!"

He shriveled a little. "It's not in the porn industry. It's just being a model, like any other heroes do."

Suddenly an image of some shady yakuza that dwells in human-trafficking business flashed through my mind. "But, that still—"

Best Jeanist cut me off, "This is the only high-paying job I could give you right now, considering that you're still a suspended, wounded, and reckless hero."

"But I'm not graduated from UA to be sexually commercialized!"

"No one does. But then we have nothing left for you. With your current state, I still can't give you any hero mission."

Still processing Best Jeanist's shitty advice, the damn secretary of his suddenly patted my shoulder. "It's also a hero's mission to aspire people. You know you can be a role model to young women all over Ja—" I sent him flying with a little Foton punch. And before Best Jeanist could say anything, I left the room.

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As I walking myself out of the agency, people stared at me like I grew a second head on my neck. Those bunch of extras that I never bother to remember the names has to learn how to whisper behind someone's back, because, heck, I could hear every shitty-talk they had about me.

"Look, isn't that Supernova? I heard she had done it again."

"Do you mean being crazy? Isn't that what she's only good at?"

"I can't believe the boss still let her go after causing us so much trouble."

"Really! Does she even have no shame? She shouldn't be on the Billboard Ranking."

"Ssh! She might hear you! You surely don't want her to verbally and physically roast you, right?"

I'd really like to punch their face one by one or burn something in the room, but that would just prove to them that they were right. Deep inside, I admit that their work also increased because of me, so instead, I took a big heavy breath, and pretended that I heard nothing.

'_Remember the feeling you got when you were in the ocean,'_ I told myself repeatedly. And witnessing me all cool and chill, I bet surprised the shit out of them more than if I was suddenly lashing out.

When I walked past the office's front door, the moon already exchanged place with the sun. I greet her with a longing stare, thinking that I might have reached her if I was stronger. Then I would sit on the side of the moon that facing the earth, and watched the planet I was born and raised as if the life that I've been living there was just a dream.

As I walking down the buzzing street of Shinjuku, thinking what should I do after this while staring at my own feet, a familiar voice called my childhood name—in such a way that it immediately sent me to nostalgia, "Kacchan!"

I turned back and saw the green-haired nerd half-running to my way, smiling so stupidly as always. But the only thing that caught up on my mind was his figure when he kissed the Todoroki princess. I immediately turned around and walked faster.

"Wait, Kacchan!"

'_Just ignore him, ignore him.'_ I said to myself.

He still tried to catch up with me. "I know you heard me, Kacchan. Aren't you a bit rude?"

I sighed. "Shut up, Nerd. I'm always like this."

He laughed. "I know." Now he was walking beside me, synchronizing his pace with mine.

"What do you want?"

"I heard you fell from the sky."

I gave him a short glare. "Yeah, congrats to know such secret information."

"Oh, yeah, it's a secret, indeed. I have to even use my connections to confirmed that it was you. The media and the general public just know that there was a small meteor falling to the earth. Some even conspired that it was supposed to be a bomb or a failed villain attack. And I think—"

I stopped walking and stare at him. "Just cut the bullshit, Nerd." Those big green eyes stared me back and suddenly I remembered the kid that always holding my hands when I was crying. "I'm tired."

"Yeah, I also would if I fell from heaven."

Was he flirting with me? Because if yes, that was lame. "Congratulation on figuring out I'm the Lucifer-reincarnated."

"Then I guess hell isn't such a bad place."

I snorted unintentionally. "Don't talk like you know shit. You never even been there." I started walking again, this time at a slower pace.

"But I've been through some hells, you know." He followed my steps, hands-on his mantel pockets, acting all smooth. "Life has been rough to me too. You just didn't expect that, do you? And if you were really the Ruler of Hell, I think life in there would just be like heaven to me."

We reached an intersection and have to wait for the red-light to cross. Not many people around us, so I wasn't really put my guard up. "Bold of you to assume I would accept you in my kingdom."

"What, you wouldn't?" He stood next to me. "Why, Kacchan? We could play-heroes as we used to without to worry who's gonna be the bad guys and the victims. We could just use every single sinner in hell. They might even thank us for giving them such a fun punishment."

I tried very hard to restrain the tips of my lips from rising. "Ha. Yeah. Funny."

"Anyway, joke aside, are you free tomorrow? Because there's something that I want you to see."

The light has turned green for the pedestrians and I moved my legs again. "As I said before, I don't need that kind of attention from you."

He stubbornly still walking beside me. "It's not something shady. You know, my company is developing new technology for supporting heroes and also saving the earth at the same time. And I promised you'll gonna love this one. I especially designed it for you, and I genuinely think it will help you with your hero-work."

I raised an eyebrow. Anything work-related now is an interesting topic for me. "How come?"

He smiled with both lips and eyes. "Just come and see for yourself."

**.**

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**To Be Continued**

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Hi, there! It's Lee Audrey :)

Thank you so much for your patience. This chapter is kinda heavier than the others regarding the materials and such, but I also don't want it to be half-assed, so I really did my homework.

Anyway, I'm sorry the story turned out so dark :( Like, I honestly didn't notice at all. I just want to tell a story about how a woman with a dark past and mental anxiety became the best version of herself—wait, that's dark. Still, there's a lot to unpack about Katsumi and Izuku (and their relationship). It's gonna be heavier than this, but I also want to make some lighter story about them foolishly flirting at each-other :)

And if, please God help me with this, the story really ended up with a happy ending, I'd love to make an after-story where they start having a family(ies) in a cheesy-romantic way.

Uh, I'd like to spill the tea but I don't want to ruin the fun :( So just wait until my brain can connect all the plot-holes, okay?

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Anyway, here's the BDSM basic terms. _The more detailed explanation will be on future chapters._

**BDSM: **Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.

**SM (sadomasochism): **the knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth.

**SM club: **a club that specializes in SM.

**SM community: **a group of people interested in SM.

'**in the scene': **a member of the SM community. A person might say "I've been in the scene for five years." One person might ask another, "Is so-and-so in the scene?"

**Negotiation: **discussion (and hopefully agree) on the details of what will and will not be done during a specific SM session.

**Safeword: **a specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are 'really' becoming too intense for the person. Usually used by the submissive, but may also be used by the dominant. 'Safeword' itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention.

**Public Display: **SM plays that intentionally held so that other people might see. Usually only in the SM clubs. (note: some submissive even asked to be watched by other people during their session)

**Play: **SM erotic activity involving bondage, pain, domination, and so forth.

**Session: **a meeting between two (or more) people for SM play. Also known as a "scene".

**Dungeon (or playroom): **a room specially set up for SM play. Often equipped with eyebolts, slings, whipping posts, blackout lights, mirrors, sound systems, special lighting, and so forth.

**Dominant: **one who gives orders during SM play and assuming control. One who decides what happens and when. A dominant may or may not be sadistic.

**Dominatrix: **a female dominant

**Dom: **a male dominant.

**Mistress: **a term for a female dominant. Often used as a term of address, such as 'Mistress Shoko' (not always have to be their real names. I use 'Shoko' because I thought Todoroki would also choose it). It is often considered somewhat rude to address a woman by this term without being first permitted to do so. (Note: dominants do not usually address each other by such titles) The male-version of Mistress is 'Master'.

**Submissive (sub): **one who yields control. One who obeys orders and may permit themselves to be bound or 'tortured' if doing so pleases their dominants.

**Slave: **a person who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to a particular person. Calling someone 'my slave' generally indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing relationship between the two of you. Some slaves often enjoy nonsexual orders like **'cleaning the dungeon' **after their session—but basically, every submissive also has to do that.

**Switch: **a person who enjoys both the top and bottom roles.

**Sadist: **a person who specifically enjoys giving pain.

**Masochist: **a person who actively enjoys feeling pain. It is quite possible for a person to be masochistic without being submissive, and to be submissive without being masochistic. Masochists seem to have a different type of nervous system than the rest of us have. Levels of pain that would traumatize other people send them into ecstatic orbit. They love it and want more. **The masochist feels very particular about the pain they enjoy. It must be felt only under controlled, consensual circumstances. **You are not free to walk up to a masochist and slap them. Such behavior is nonconsensual, nonerotic, and illegal. Masochist seems to enjoy the conventional sexual sensation as much as anybody else. Many masochists report entering an altered state of consciousness. If they feel safe and secure about their situation and the people they're with, they relax and surrender to an astonishing degree.

**Toys: **a piece of SM equipment such as whip, collar, length of rope, and so forth. One 'play' with 'toys' during 'session/scene'.

**Iron bed: **the type of bed that has iron bars frame above the head and below the foot, usually to put cuff and rope easier.

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Also, some non-BDSM glossaries (mostly about Japan):

**Tate-Mae: **a term that roughly translates to 'politeness'. Usually used in bad-term, regarding what people show you in _tate-mae_ fashion wasn't their honest opinion and/or action. In Japan, this concept was rooted deeply one hardly notice whether they had insulted other people or not, because the Japanese are too polite to say directly that you were such a jerk.

**Daimyo: **a lord title that rules over a region of Japan in the feudal era. Basically, like the nobles in Europe where they owned a considerably large area and the people living on it has to pay tribute to his family. And, yes, the famous '_samurais'_ and '_ninjas'_ basically works for the _daimyos_.

**Nichoume: **a way to mention a red-light district in Japan. Roughly translated as 'road number 2' (because the largest prostitution area in Japan was located in 'road number two' in Edo, previous Tokyo. To this day, '_nichoume'_ always associated with prostitution area).

The definitions in this part were only from my memory about a lecture a few semesters ago. So apologizes if I got them wrong.

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**.**

**Stigmas that I want to break with this chapter:**

**BDSM not always about torture, scary stuff, or kinky sex—but well, yes, that's the main thing but there's also something more. BDSM can be an outlet for psychological therapy. **I have a friend, she's a sub, and while at first being a feminist that I am I was shocked, but then I learned that being a sub also means that you let someone else take control over you, and it could be a great outlet for stress-relieve to people that has so many responsibilities on them every day. (and yes, she's also a feminist and everything was done with her consent)._ The more detailed practice of BDSM will be explained in future chapters._

**Proper BDSM is all about consent. **Being a dom doesn't mean you can do anything you want with your sub, and being a sub doesn't mean you don't have any part to determine what would happen in the session. Actually, **like any other relationship, **consent was the basis of BDSM, to the point that both the dom and sub have to negotiate about what was allowed and not. A session without consent just an act of crime. _The more detailed explanation will be on future chapters._

**Depression and suicidal thoughts aren't that easy to cure.** You might stop someone from committing suicide, but that doesn't necessarily mean you also make them stop wondering about being dead. It took time and a hard, long process. Even with so many years has passed doesn't guarantee anything—the thought might come back anytime. I think, and it's a very personal opinion, the only thing to stop that was to realize that it's still okay to live by finding another reason to survive. So, please, if you have someone in your life that calling out for help from their scary thought, please, by any means, **don't judge them**. Instead, accompany them and try to sympathize.

**Sexism is real, **Ladies and Gentlemen**.** You might just not realize them. Ah,** and racism is also real. #blacklivesmatter** **#Papualivesmatter #MeToo**

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**.**

**Bibliography**:

Wiseman, Jay. 1996. _SM 101: Realistic Introduction – Second Edition. _San Francisco: Greenery Press.

Marvel Cinematic Universe. 2019. _Captain Marvel_.

Russel, Randy. 2015. _Layers of Earth's Atmosphere._ Boulder: University Corporation for Atmospheric Research. .edu/atmosphere-layers

**-:-**

**What do you think about this chapter?**

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**With love,**

**Lee Audrey**

**-:-**


	8. Kiss it Better

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Villain!Deku x Fem!Katsuki**

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**Summary**:

I've been waiting up all night

Baby, tell me what's wrong?

Gonna make it right

Make it all night long

(Rihanna)

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**Chapter 8: Kiss it Better**

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**Friendly advice: this chapter will be a very long one. Please prepare your time and energy in advance.**

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**#Katsumi's PoV**

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"Kacchan?"

When I tried to open my eyes, I was blinded by the light. His faint silhouette slowly took form and I was immediately greeted by his wild curly hair and luminous smile. His tiny freckles spreading across his chubby cheeks like stars in the sky. His big, round eyes gleamed like emerald under the sun. Our noses just inches apart and his face was upside-down.

"Kacchan, were you asleep?" he said with his sweet, high-note voice. I groaned, rubbing my head against the stack of leaves on the ground, still feeling sleepy. He held his body above my head with his tiny hands next to my neck. "Can I sleep next to you?" he asked.

I groaned again, rubbing my eyes. "Do what you want, Deku."

"Okay!" Gleefully, he laid on his back with his head right next to mine. His hair—that bigger than his head—tickled some parts on my neck and shoulder, and I could hear his soft breathing among all the symphony that the wind, the trees, the insects, and the birds made.

I closed my eyes, but the sun's afternoon light still pierced through my eyelids. When I opened them again, a majestic eagle flew high in the blue sky. To the little me, he was like flying through one cloud to another.

"Kacchan, did you saw that?" he squeaked, "An eagle! Wow, I never thought to see one here!" He raised his tiny, chubby hand and pointed to the sky. Without even looking at him, I know his eyes shine like he always does. "Do you know that there are some species of eagles that have standing feathers around their head like All Might does?"

I laughed. "All Might don't heave feather. It was his hair."

"I know, right! And he was so cool! I bet the eagles also cool and strong too!"

"You also have standing hair but you're not cool."

"I'm not now. But wait until I become an adult. I bet I'm gonna be as cool as All Might too!"

I giggled at the thought of his chubby, stupid face with All Might's body. It was horrible.

"And I bet you're also gonna be cool too, Kacchan! Cool and beautiful and smart and strong and great and magnificent and gorgeous and—"

I got up immediately and closed his mouth with one hand. "Shut up!" Somehow, I could feel my face burning from the inside. "Don't say anything. Shut up!"

He tried to speak but his voice was muffled.

"I said shut up, nerd!"

He held my arm and desperately trying to move my hand from his mouth. And when he did, he laughed. "You're so red, Kacchan!"

I screamed this time. "SHUT UP!"

"Ka… K-Kacchan…." His weak voice broke in pain and I saw him tearing up with face blushed unpleasantly. When I looked down, his feet in those brand-new red shoes were floating a few inches above the floor. Suddenly I realized my hands were around his neck, strangled him with all my might. His hands that were grabbing my arms begged to be released, but eventually got weakened as he started losing his breath. His weak, small body underneath our middle school uniform was too busy to keep his heart beating. Then I heard his plea again, full of agony, "Ka… cchan…."

I could feel my tears falling.

I immediately pulled off my hands. He fell to the ground, painfully coughing and gasping for air. In a split second our eyes met again, those emerald eyes stared at me with resentment. It sent shivers down my spine, froze my every nerve, and made me want to scream internally.

Someone among the commotion ran out of the room and shouted, "Sensei, Bakugou hurt Midoriya again!" Then I looked around the room and found my classmates with judging eyes that pierced right through me.

An adult came into the room and walked through the circle of people. She was tall and wearing a menacing red suit. Her heels knocking the wooden floor like thunder and echoes around the room. Then she grabbed me by my arms, lowered her body to my eye-level, and stared at me with devilishly amused ruby eyes. Her red lips whispered, "Katsumi," and I knew by heart that I finally met her—my biggest fear, my scariest monster:

"You're so weak."

Me.

I jumped from my sleep and immediately wide awake.

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That nightmare made me unable to still laying on my bed. The time was already 4 A.M. but God knows not a single soul in this house was awake except me. I looked out the window and still could find the moon. Grabbed my parka jacket and training trousers, I changed my oversize t-shirt and short immediately, then silently walked out of the house after wearing my running shoes.

After that, I intentionally not thinking about anything. I tried to focus on my feet, lungs, and heart. I tried to focus on the sound that nature made at this time. I tried to appreciate the morning fresh air on my skin and in my lungs. I tried to keep looking forward, focusing on things I would never be aware of in normal circumstances. And when I reached an artificial lake in the neighborhood's park, I stood by the lakeside and tried to appreciate how the calm water perfectly reflects the sky's jewelry.

Reflection, huh? _'That monster… that 'me', she's also the reflection of me.'_

I shook my head, tried to erase her image.

So, for the next two hours or more, I tried to remember some yoga techniques and self-meditation, while patiently waiting for the sun to rise. When I got home, I couldn't help but notice some noises from the kitchen. Denki was there, trying either to made breakfast or destroyed the entire room. I snorted a few times when he was awkwardly cut things it came out in weird sizes, or when he got surprised as the hot oil jumping wildly when he cracked an egg on the frying pan, or when he just simply dropped a few things clumsily. He was too absorbed on his work he didn't even notice me standing at the kitchen doorway the whole time.

He must've been from his bae's place. How do I know? Not only he wasn't here last night, but he also unusually 'fashionable' with that black, oversized t-shirt with One OK Rock logo printed on the chest that obviously wasn't his. His face also radiated brighter than normal even though he surely aware that he's going to fail this meal. I couldn't help it anymore and step into the room. Without I even had to say anything, he jumped in surprise and even rubbing his chest roughly while showing his startled-Pikachu-face.

I really couldn't help but laugh. His face then blushed at rapid speed.

"Girl! Say something if you're here!"

"And couldn't see you awkwardly turn this kitchen upside-down? No way."

His blush got brighter. "Then just help me out, will ya? I'm trying to make breakfast for you too."

I walked closer to the kitchen table. It was a total mess with so many ingredients and tools scattered around. "Oh? What's the occasion?" After seven years of living together with him, I surely noticed that he only cooks us something if he had done something bad or just innocently wants to share his happiness over something. Regardless, his cooking skill never improved no matter how many times he pissed us off.

He immediately turned his head the other way. "Nothing. I just feel like it."

"Oh, yeah?" My eyes followed his move that got clumsier and stiffer.

"I just want to show you guys my appreciation. You know, by still being alive. And still able to put up with me, of course. Sometimes I genuinely wonder how could you not kicked me out already. Wow, if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't agree to stick with me, moreover for years! That's why I think you're amazing."

It honestly disgusted me, but still could bring some laugh out of me. "Then, move away! You'll gonna poison us that way."

"Okay!" He raised his hands in surrender, and immediately exchanged his position in front of the stove to mine. He teased me a little by asking whether I already washed my hands or not, and I shut him up with, "Just fucking watch and learn, Dunch Face." But, anyway, I already washed my hands. I'm not that stupid.

I took control over the kitchen after that. While I was busy cooking, I ordered him to clean the place especially the table, gather the unnecessary ingredients and put them back on their places, and prepared the tableware. At some point, I think I already lost my mind in a daydream, and somehow continued the previous conversation by saying, "Believe me when I say I didn't know why I'm still sticking with you either. Maybe we're just got used to your bullshit it's already part of everyday life."

He paused whatever he was doing, looked at me with wide eyes, and snorted. "Aah, girl, you know that you're so sweet, aren't you?"

I glared at him and roared, "Shut up!"

That's when Kirishima entered the room, yawning so loud while scratching his eight-packs with one hand. The 'Alien King' tattoo on his hip—that matched with Mina's—was visible underneath his low-waist training pants. "What's this? Breakfast early in the morning? Katsumi and Denki in the kitchen together? Am I dreaming?"

"Want me to punch you then?" I raised one fist on him, but the second our eyes met, I remembered when I was abruptly kissed him. Suddenly I couldn't see his face anymore.

The awkward tension raised as he turned around and helping Denki with the tableware instead. "No, I'm fully awake now."

I didn't know whether Denki noticed it or not, but he saved us by saying, "We're not your wives, you know. You have to wash the dishes after this. Ah, and make the tea!" And Kirishima just laughed and said, "Yeah, yeah. Sure."

After the cooking was done, we had breakfast together at the dinner table. This fact is worth mentioning because we've been having different eating schedules since Mina and Sero died, and most of the time, we always eat on the couch in the living room or simply eat outside. Gathered around a table again like this felt so strange yet touching as all of us constantly stealing glares on two empty chairs among us. No one dared to say something other than some simple compliments about how delicious my traditional Japanese breakfast was with the addition of three gore-looking sunny-side-ups Denki made.

Then something shiny caught the corner of my eyes. When I look more closely, a tiny golden ring was hugging Denki's left hand's ring finger tightly. I suddenly screamed, "Bitch, you're engaged?!"

It was definitely surprised the shit out of them.

Denki just shyly 'hehe' us while smiling ear to ear and awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Actually… Hitoshi proposed to me last night…." He changed the way he called his bae now—from 'Shinsou', his family name, to his own name. For a couple that has been dating for years, that tiny detail was enough to tell the world that he's ready to be part of his family. But instead of glee, those golden eyes looking at us carefully as he added with a tiny voice, "I hope you don't mind."

I raised one eyebrow. "Why would we?"

Denki was heavily bullied in high school due to his sexual orientation. Even though he never clearly admitted it at that time, people could easily notice by the way he talks and moves his body, and therefore would making fun of him. While it was perfectly understandable in an environment that heavily dominated by heterosexual Japanese boys, I still couldn't stand it and beat the shit out of his bullies sometimes. Not like I led a carefree high school life or whatnot—heck, I also had my fair share of bullies—but the way they did him was so dirty they even targeted Mina that was only stood for him.

Somehow the three most bullied people in the class formed a gang by always sticking up together and fight back whenever someone messed with us first. Somehow, somehow, the gang expanded with a plain simple tape guy and a machismo freak that deliberately excommunicated themselves by hanging with us, just because they grew up together in the same orphanage with Mina.

So if one of us finally got his happy ending, why would we mind?

But Denki straight up made it a lot weirder when he stared at Kirishima like a dog that just pooped on the rug. The shitty-hair responded with just a look that screaming, "What?" in oblivion.

When he got it, though, he yelled a long "OH!" and laughed. "It's okay, bro. I don't mind! Mina would also hate it if you postponed your happiness just because of us." Even though he said that, he still rubbed his engagement ring with his thumb unconsciously.

I turned a blind eye from the elephant in the room and asked Denki instead, "Are you still feeling guilty about their death?"

He crouched some more. "Yeah, kinda…."

When he admitted that, I felt like I was the slyest person on earth. None of them knew the truth that I'm the one who caused their deaths. Denki shouldn't have to feel that guilt, but instead, I couldn't bring myself to admit it. "It's okay, Dunch Face. You deserve to be happy," I said, grabbing his hand and squeeze them tight. And repeated, "It's okay," like it could erase my guilt.

Denki looked back at me and gave me a warm smile. He said nothing but I bet he understood how sincere I was. And witnessing this rare moment, the macho-freak stared at us while chewing his rice slowly then said, "Hey, look at the bright side, guys. At least the suits and wedding dress that already been bought not gonna go to waste."

Denki shrugged a little, but still smiling nonetheless. "Well, it's not like we're going to get married any time soon. There still some things to settle down first, like meeting our parents and such…. That reminds me, I'm going to go to meet Hitoshi's parents after this. Wish me luck, guys."

I couldn't help but put a smirk. "Sure. His parents also gays, right? Then it would be easier."

A little crash-course on Shinsou's complicated family history: after All Might's death, the criminal rate rose significantly some so many children that suddenly lost one or both of their parents due to various reasons. Shinsou's biological father died in a car accident. And maybe his mother was aware of her illness that eating away her lifespan, she remarried a young entrepreneur to guarantee her son's future. When she died five years later, the business was on its peak they even couldn't sleep for days. After that it was only him and his step-father, the famous musician Aizawa Shouta, backing each other up on the business for years even though Shinsou was just a high-schooler back then.

That was when he met Denki. This silly friend of mine took a summer part-time job in their company to just basically buy some new clothes. His clumsiness got Shinsou really confused at first, so he spent extra time to just taught him the basics. And following the well-known rule of romance, love sparked on the longer time a couple spent together, they started dating right on that autumn and have been such silly lovey-dovey lovebirds ever since.

Why he wasn't living with him, you asked? That's also something that I'd like to know.

And somehow, somehow, Shinsou's stepfather remarried a man that was his costumer, another musician Yamada Hizashi, when Shinsou was in his early twenties. The news even shocked Japan for a while—especially because the other groom also had an adoptive daughter that way younger than Shinsou's, Eri—but after some time, no one cares anymore. And, by the way, their business was selling and distributing musical instruments, in case anyone wondering.

So, there it was: a family that not related by blood at all, with two gay dads, one bisexual son, and one innocent baby daughter. With that kind of family, asking them to accept Denki as an addition wouldn't be a big deal.

"Yeah, the main problem is actually my parents," said the Pikachu, still crouching his back. Then his face turned horror, "Oh my god, should I tell them? They disowned me anyway, so… should I _really_ tell them?"

Kirishima still eating away his food when he calmly replied, "I think at least you let them know. Regarding they give you their blessing or not, that's not your problem."

I nodded while chewing the side-dish vegetables. "The one who gets married is you, not them. You're not a traditional couple anyway, so why bother by traditional thought?"

"Yeah, Katsumi's right!" said Kirishima after swallowed a bulk of rice.

"And whatever happens, we'll gonna be here for you. And Purple Head too," I added.

The macho-man just shout another "Yeah, Katsumi's right!" before added, "Anyway, Katsumi," I turned my head slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to have Mina's wedding dress? It's not like I can give it to someone else."

"Huh?" I almost choked on my grilled fish. "What about Denki?"

"Girl!" The said person slammed the table. "That dress is beautiful but I ain't doing drag on my wedding day!" He shook his head, hard. "No-no!"

The long-haired red-head added, "In the end, Mina would still give it to you, anyway. In case you marry a dude with no money, she said."

And I pulled a deep sigh. Now I hate it when they using our death friends as blackmail material. "Fine. I'm gonna wear it to your wedding, but that's it. It'll go to the museum."

The Pikachu protested, "No, Girl!" he slammed the table again. "A bridesmaid ain't wear a wedding dress on other's wedding! No! Wear it on yours!"

"Oh, shut up! Don't think I'm gonna get married anyway, so what's the deal?"

And then we had this long intense moment when Denki and Kirishima look at each other in confusion like they could exchange their thoughts—which, nevertheless, not really important I bet.

The Pikachu face looked me with concern. "You know, celibacy isn't always good," he said carefully. And whenever he makes this I-know-better-than-you face, everything that came out of his mouth would be total dogshit. "Sometimes you really need to put that pussy to use or else you'll gonna miss the chance of your life and suddenly you woke up wrinkled and old and no one would ever wanna fuck you anymore so you just die a miserable death and—"

I grabbed his mouth with one hand. With a simple cold glare, he already squeaking, "I'm sowwy…."

Kirishima laughed his ass off. He even slapped the table and his tight couple times. "But I think he's right, Katsumi," he said, still trying to hold his laugh down. "You should have some fun too."

I stared at him intensely. With my darkest menacing aura, I said slowly, "Fun not always equals sex, right? I'm having fun."

"I mean, try to go on a date. Go out! Don't wait for him—reach him out first!" He slapped my back with his gigantic hand and I seriously thought to murder him this time. "O-or maybe you can meet someone new. You know what they said, there's still plenty of fish in the sea."

I gave him a middle finger. "Say that to your face, Shitty-hair."

There was an abrupt pause between us. When Kirishima got offended because I was offended, that's the time when Denki had a self-obligation to intervene. "Hey, guys, let's stop, o—"

"I'm still mourning, okay?" Mr. Macho raised his voice suddenly. "It's not that fast to move on! But you? You have no reason whatsoever to not having any partner, right? It's not like you busy with work, anyway."

The last one really hit me to the base. I lost word for a moment that might be felt like decades for them while waiting for me to explode. Of course they would know my situation. Best Jeanist was a close friend to Fat Gum and Kirishima must've told Denki.

"A-anyway…." Kirishima cleared his throat by some awkward coughs. "I'll be gone on a mission for a few days. Just heads up."

Denki also tried to change the mood. "Heh…. What mission?"

"Investigation. I can't give you the detail, but it's about missing people's cases. Apparently, the local PDs already running out of clues so they asked me for help."

That intrigued me. I glare at him without even moving my head. "Is it that big?" I mean, with today's crime rate, it's not a surprise anymore if people got missing every day—especially after Endeavor's death.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But they seem to want to look for the link between the cases. Something fishy, they said."

I hummed a long 'hmm'. "You're taking Harley-D. with you?"

He scratched his head again. "Well, I'd like to, but I would look like a sore thumb. But then I have to ride Ranger, but it's also hard to stay lowkey with a red foreign car, so... what do you guys wanna ride?"

Denki shrugged off his shoulder, finishing his meal. "I don't necessarily need a vehicle because Hitoshi always picks me up."

I'm munched my rise slowly and coldly said, "I'm taking Harley-D."

"Alright." Kirishima stood up then walk to his room and threw me a key. "Don't scratch her."

I put my best devilish smile. "Sure."

And suddenly he yelled, "No! I'm serious, Katsumi. DON'T!"

We bursted in laughter right after that.

**.**

**.**

**.**

I'd be lying if I said I never think about marriage. Since the day Mina and Kirishima got engaged, I could perfectly imagine how beautiful the life they would have with children that resembles them and a house full of laughter. Every day, they would spend hours and hours talking, singing, dancing, laughing—hell, even fighting—with each other, but you could still notice the passion and love burning in their eyes. Like they would never get bored of each other. Like they were two pieces of the puzzle made from Heaven. Their kid would be the luckiest to be raised by loving parents that would adore them so much they would cry at every moment.

Looking at them like that, it was impossible not also imagining how would it feel to experience it yourself. Then, at some point, you started to wonder whether real love really exist like you wonder about God. Whether or not marriage really just a ceremony of a man buying a woman from their family or there's really some genuine love in it. Whether it is true or not that marriage just a concept made by humans, like money and love, and humans could actually reproduce without the concept at all. If at some point you lose your interest at one another, then what's the purpose of getting married in the first place? To procreate? Is human's basic instinct just only to reproduce all along? How could someone commit themselves to someone else for the rest of their life?

I couldn't answer those questions because I have no experience whatsoever in any of them. Love for me just a logical concept of attraction that encourages humans to pass the seed of life to the next generation; not something I could believe by heart like religion. Even religion for me just only another concept, passed through generations because it has some values for human life, and treated with respect just a little bit above the others because of the historical aspect they had.

Family is also a concept. You could be having blood relations to complete strangers and suddenly they're your family. Or you could have no blood relation whatsoever with some people but you could feel the bond that told you their lives matters as much as you are—and suddenly, you unconsciously regard them as family. With this stupid bunch of people that have been living together with me for the past seven years, I felt the second one. And as long as I concern, this is the only concept that I believe in, other than money.

I'm not stupid, so I never dare to imagine that they would never leave me at some point. Mina and Kirishima being the obvious case, where they would need and want their own privacy to start a family and being independent. I always prepared myself to lose my roommate any time, but not in such a way that I would never see her again because of my fault. Then I also know that Denki wouldn't forever be the ray of sunshine in this house, because even the blinds could see that he and Shinsou dying to be with each other more than Romeo and Juliet ever had. When all of them gone, Sero would also walk out of this house because he and I were never had the perfect dynamic.

In fact, they could've been moving out since a long time ago. But instead, they chose to stuck with me for years just because I had the biggest tendency to do reckless things and succumb to darkness anytime they were afraid to leave me alone—other than financial reasons, of course.

Is that what people call unconditional love? Platonic love? Or just plain stupidity? It was annoying and comforting at the same time. But their commitment to putting up with me made me believed that I'm wanted, that I could love other people—even without romantic label whatsoever—and being loved the same way. And I must admit that I got too comfortable with that, I lost my grip when fate took a sharp turn on my life.

I wasn't ready to see Mina's wedding dress this soon. I immediately remembered the moment Mina took me to hunt her wedding dress: after hours searching on the internet without any result and days exploring from shop to shop, we finally found the perfect dress. I could instantly imagine her walking down the aisle in them. The dress will be her second skin and people going to remember her with that dress for years to come. I also remember the feeling of loneliness that made me realize a brutal reality—that I would miss their noise and liveliness once the party ended.

But now it successfully broke my heart just simply by looking at the white, long dress that standing in the corner, judging me who once envied their happiness. Its white glow blinded me as if screaming, "how dare you?" countless times I averted my eyes.

How dare I… what? Envied them? Yes. Survived? Yes. Felt worthless? Yes.

It would've been better if Mina could really get married in this dress—not rotting away in the dark corner of the room. It would've been enough for me just to become her bridesmaid and stay like that forever. But instead, I couldn't help to feel envy. Witnessing how the air around them glowed as they smiled and stared at each other made me felt heavy. Even imagining their children grow up in a loving environment suffocates me.

'_Because I'm a total stranger to those things.'_

Now Denki also going to be walking the same path that Mina and Kirishima would have had, left me with a question of "what should I do after that?". As I said, I never believe in marriage moreover giving all myself to someone else in the name of an abstract concept. It's easier for me to imagine myself flying to the sun then got burnt to crisps rather than walking down the aisle.

"I will donate this," I said to myself, still looking at the dress, very determined after swallowing a can of booze. "I'm sorry, Pinky."

Suddenly my phone buzzed. I picked up the unwanted gift unwillingly from the table and immediately greeted with a text from the nerd, ["Hi, Kacchan! Here's my office. Come anytime you want! I'll be here the whole day ;)"] that also included a GPS location.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. _'Should I go?'_ asked one part of me. But then I realized that I had nothing better to do, and he also mentioned something about helping me with work, so I guess I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Without too much thought on what I wear, I rode Kirishima's beloved Harley-Davidson to Tokyo. This whole city has been my backyard so I didn't really need to follow the GPS to know exactly where I should be heading, especially because his office turned out to be one of the most famous buildings in Minato, Tokyo—the Tokyo Midtown Tower. The only catch was that driving from Hachioji in the west to Minato in the east took a good amount of time than flying—even with a motorbike. But, hey, no rush. That damned nerd would never dare to get angry at me even if I didn't show up at all. I took this opportunity to relieve the stress instead. The wind, the scenery, and the music from my earphones never failed to loosen some nerves in me.

I've spent around one enjoyable hour on the road while repeatedly played some of Rihanna's and Beyoncè's songs. Before I realized, I already in front of the second tallest building in Tokyo that looks like a giant mirror that reflects the blue sky's magnificence. The people around this elite neighborhood that were crossing the street would stare at me silently and blatantly, either because I'm a woman that rode a Harley-Davidson or I looked like a scratchy band member that rode a Harley-D that also a woman. Looking at them all suit-up and as if belonged in the futuristic society, my poor ass with only baggy denim trousers, white t-shirt, black leather jacket, biker boots, and no make-up on immediately felt out of place.

The uneasiness multiplied by one hundred once I stepped into the building and facing one of the receptionists at the front desk that looked so elegant and beautiful. While I wasn't doing anything with my hair that wild from the helmet except hide it behind an orange beanie, her pale-blonde hair was tucked tidily behind her head. With a face that had perfect natural make-up on, she smiled at me warmly and asked me what I need.

I moved my eyes to other directions first—like a huge company symbol on the wall in front of me that written 'Inko Inc.' and the receptionist's name-tag, 'Toga Himiko'—before answering, "I'm looking for Deku. We have an appointment."

She paused for a second and blinked her eyes twice—a not direct and unofficially polite way in Japan to show that you don't understand. "Pardon, who?"

I immediately realized that I just made a fool out of myself. "I mean Midoriya Izuku."

She raised that polite smile again. "Oh, right. May I ask who's asking, Ma'am?"

This time I'm the one who paused and blinked. Not to be overconfident, but I thought that the whole of Japan already knows who I am. 'The Most Troubled Hero Ever'? 'The Hero that Also Possibly a Villain'? She obviously would've at least seen my face once or twice if she ever watched the news.

But I still answered nonetheless. "Bakugou. Katsumi."

She made a big 'oh' moment. Then checking something on her computer, and said, "Yes, Mr. Midoriya mentioned you would come. He is having a meeting right now. Please wait for a moment. His secretary will come to pick you up."

I got confused but just shrugged it off. "Sure."

Not five minutes later, a tall and buff guy with slick and neat haircut came running to me with a funny way from the elevator. He stopped right in front of my nose, a little freaked me out, and politely greeted me with the same stiff and funny way. "Welcome to Tokyo Midtown Tower, Bakugou Katsumi-sama. I'm Iida Tenya, Mr. Midoriya's secretary. As you already informed by the receptionist, he's still in the middle of the company meeting, but it seems like he would be done any time soon. Meanwhile, I'm going to guide you to our office on the upper-half of this building."

His over-the-top greeting still left me speechless for a moment. When I could regain my cool, I just bowed a little and let him guided me.

This building was basically decorated with dark-green granites and shiny iron all over the place. The outer walls were all glass. They made it look so fancy with their modern design and furniture that also somehow felt comfortable.

Along our way to the 47th floor, where the nerd apparently held the meeting, his secretary had a Ted Talk about the building and the company. He explained that basically all of the Tokyo Midtown business complex was owned by Deku's family, but this tower was personally his. While floors from zero to the 46th were filled with multiple tenants—like Fujifilm, Yahoo! Japan, UNIQLO, Ritz-Carlton Hotel, and other famous companies—the 47th to 52nd were especially dedicated for Japan Inko Inc., and the whole 53rd floor was one of the nerd's personal condos and used as his personal work-space.

This tower's Inko Inc. was only one branch of dozens around the globe that engaged in hero-supporter technology business and dealt with hundreds of costume-modification requests from heroes all over Japan. The company basically just like the Stark Tower without a blatant 'Stark' above the building, because here in Japan, everything should be polite. You can't brag about how filthy rich you are without getting judged as self-observed assholes by the whole country.

I rolled my eyes every time the nerd's name was mentioned, but I couldn't help but listened. The damn nerd might be annoying, but he indeed came from a powerful family and might also be a decent person if judged by how big his company alone.

If only he wasn't bribing someone to flaunt his good sides in front of me like this.

Once we got to the destinated floor, I could see his broccoli hair inside a room made of transparent glass as walls even from the elevator's door. The area outside the meeting room just like a normal millennial office with so many comfortable couches, beautiful tables, urban paintings, and vending machines here and there, while everyone seems enjoyed doing their jobs.

I followed Iida deeper into the room and leaned casually on a coffee table just outside the meeting room. He continued to explain that this floor to 49th was for their administrative works, while labs were on the 50th to 52nd. Therefore, when the nerd was on these floors, he would definitely either checked on his employees or held a meeting about something. This time was about a new project that somehow had something to do with me.

And I'm like, what?

I immediately looked at the nerd that was leading the meeting and somehow made everyone laughed. Not at him, but with him. Somehow, he looked confident enough to be their boss but also capable to be their friend. His attire also wasn't screaming "respect me! I'm your goddamn boss!" with those jeans, nude sweater, and ankle boots, while others were in semi-formal suits. Hell, if I haven't known better, I wouldn't even guess he's the big-shot.

The said-person was innocently looked back at my way, smiled radiantly, and waved like a kid while shouting his pet-name for me. Suddenly the whole meeting-room's attention was shifted in my direction and they started gawking my hero-name before somehow teasing the nerd until he blushed. I immediately knew that he said something about me to them—and I believe not only in business-related topics. And I was. So. Fucking. Embarrassed.

He left the room in hurry after lean over to someone to, maybe, let them took over the meeting, and immediately ran to me. "Kacchan!" That was an unnecessary scream. We weren't even five meters apart. Now the whole floor was looking at us. "Oh my God, you really came! I'm so happy!" This level of embarrassment actually enough for me to punch his face, but I wouldn't do it in front of this many witnesses. "And you look so stunning! I like your style!"

That's the moment when I froze. Like, _what_? I'm the only person in this room that looks like someone's rebellious niece that ran away to watch a metal concert. If he said something like that to me, then there's something wrong with his brain for sure.

In the end, I hissed coldly, "Are you crazy?"

But he just shrugged and smiled, "For you? Maybe."

That's it. I'm going home. I waved my hand once and said, "Bye," before immediately turned around to the elevator—hell, I would even jump from the glass wall if I must. Just don't let me be in the same room with him again.

But like a good puppy he always has toward me, he chased me over and suddenly already stood in front of me. "I'm so sorry, Kacchan," he said in-between so many 'wait, Kacchan, wait'. "Let's being serious, okay?"

I shot him the murderous glare. "You're the one who's not."

"Me? When? I'm always serious about you."

I sighed. "Bye."

He grabbed my arm and I immediately activated my quirk. His skin surely burnt on my skin because I could even smell and heard it. But the nerd not even flinched. His green eyes stared at me as intense as I stared at his. Then with determination, he said, "I'm always serious, Kacchan."

I immediately pulled my hand.

"Let's head upstairs, okay? There's someone I want you to meet."

He walked into the elevator without even looking back at me. The two-floors and a minute ride felt like hours with the tension between us. He's not trying to speak to me, nor he had any intention to do something about his hand. He shoved it on his jeans' pocket like nothing happened and honestly it does bother me. At the bar, when he cut his hand, he also treated it like it was nothing. And without me knowing it, the cut already healed on its own.

'_Is that his quirk?'_ My mind was running around all over the place. The only thing that shot me back to the ground was when the door opened and he said with a small voice, "I'm sorry."

And I don't know why but it pissed me off.

"Stop apologizing!" I shouted at him. He turned to me from outside the elevator with that surprised face. "Stop feeling like you're below me, Deku! We're not kids anymore."

He held the elevator door open. "But I'm always wrong in your eyes."

"Because you always piss me off."

"That's why I'm sorry, Kacchan."

"Why don't you use that shitty brain of yours to figure out why instead?"

"I did. I tried. But no matter what I do, I couldn't really understand you. Why don't you just tell me what I should do to not piss you off?"

That instant, I didn't know what to say. No one ever asked that from me. But looking at his determination made me realized how foolish I was to get angry at every single thing instead.

I walked out passed the door and stood behind him. "First of all, don't embarrass me in front of other people again."

He pulled his arms from the door and I could hear them closing. "Yup, okay. Got it," he said, confidently.

"Second, don't touch me again without notice, Nerd. You might end up hurt. I'm not paying your medical bill."

The mood changed drastically. I could even know by heart that he was holding himself from smiling ear to ear while walking beside me to the 'lab'. Inside a gigantic room full of machines, robot and android prototypes, and cables from all over the place, a woman with pink hair and white robe that look around our age came out of nowhere.

"Mr. Midoriya!" she shouted as walking toward us. Her big smile and over-the-top greeting were the same as the nerd's that even made me thinking was he intentionally hired people that look and acted the same way he does? "Is it her? Is it her?" Now she shouted literally on my face. I was too surprised to react other than pulling my head back.

The nerd just laughed. "Hatsume-san, this is Kac—I mean, Bakugou Katsumi. Her hero name is Supernova."

"Oh, hi, Supernova! I heard so much about you already! I'm so excited to make a baby for you! I hope you're gonna like 'em. Mr. Midoriya also helps me with it. We'll try not to disappoint you!" Now she grabbed my hand and shook them constantly. When she let them go, my hand was tainted with oil. And I could only stare at the nerd with 'what-the-fuck-just-happened?' look.

The nerd cleared his throat. "Kacchan, this is Hatsume Mei-san. She's the head-researcher, developer, and mechanist here. She's also helping me with the development of our latest technology that we would also love for you to wear on your costume." Now the nerd gave me chills for speaking so formally to me.

I frowned. "What technology?"

"I'm glad you ask! I thought you never ask!" This over-energetic girl shouted again and suddenly ran off somewhere.

I had so many doubts but Deku just smiled and asked me to follow her just with the head gesture. When we arrive at what seemingly her workspace, a robotic glove was obviously placed on the table as the center of attention.

And for the next fifteen minutes, this geek duo spurred all short of science shits like I had a master's degree in the subject. They didn't ask my opinion or whether I got it or not—they just kept talking while occasionally jumped from one place to another to show me something that I care nothing about. But amid all the craziness, at least I could understand that they finally found a way to contain nuclear energy as strong as a star's explosion. Not just that, they also proudly claimed that the energy could be reused as a new source of power plan.

"If we could really use that energy to, at least, reduce the using of fossil fuel and nuclear power, imagine how much impact it would have in the fight over climate change," said the nerd.

Everyone knows about how bad fossil fuel can be; dead dinosaurs, toxic gas, green-house effect, bad for ozone, on top of not renewable, et cetera. And the once-famous nuclear energy turned out produced waste that even much more harmful than fossil fuel. I don't really understand the detail, but the toxic chemical that they use to activate nuclear power could easily destroy lives. Some power plans even blatantly threw barrels of those chemicals into the ocean and wipe their hands clean with the saltwater. It was just insidious. I almost lost my sense of humanity when I watched them on National Geographic. And since the last massive earthquake in 2011 that destroyed Fukushima's nuclear power plan, there has been a huge backlash about it, especially in Japan.

"We just need your energy to make that possible, Kacchan." His green eyes that have been glowing this whole time now stared straight into mine. "When we make you a full-body suit, this technology would also protect you even if you use your one hundred percent power. And when you felt like you had enough of using your own power, you could use the power that has charged into them. Like phones and laptops. The remaining energy will be stored here and we will distribute it to the affiliated power plans."

All of those ideas sounded like utopia to me. It was interesting, but like any other science-fiction, there are some problems. "But how? My power is very, very wild, and super raw. I couldn't even get a hold of it properly!" It was embarrassing to admit, but it was true. If anyone would like to infest what seems to be a billion-dollar project on me, they deserve to know the truth.

The nerd smiled brightly. "Because it's raw it has so many potentials, right?"

"No, Nerd. You don't understand. If I use it before I could even control it properly, I might destroy everything on Earth! And as much as I hate this world, I also don't want that to happen."

Again, like he got all the things figured out already, he just smiled and shrugged it off. "You're not gonna destroy anything, I promise. Instead, you will help others with your power."

I grabbed his arm this time. "I'm trying to say that I might fail you."

"I'll take the risk, Kacchan."

"I can't promise you anything."

"You can promise me to try it out first."

He handed me the robotic glove and wait for my response. I shot him with my glare one more time before I took the glove and put my hand inside. It immediately adjusted with the shape and size of my hand perfectly it felt like my second skin.

"Now try to shoot that one." He pointed at a broken vending machine on the wall. "With ten percent."

I looked at him in horror. "You sure? That much power could destroy this whole floor."

"Don't worry. My baby will get this." I knew he probably referred to the glove, but I can't help but feel like he was referring to me. And it was embarrassing.

With the intention of not prolong my suffering here, I directed my fist at the vending machine while activating my quirk. The Foton energy immediately filled the glove, and when I was ready, I released my ten percent and it pierced straight not only the machine but also the rest of the granite walls. The electricity for the entire floor suddenly turned down and I was waiting patiently to see the ceiling to collapse, but nothing happened. That was when the nerd smiled at me with the eyes that said 'I told you'.

"That glove absorbed half of your power. So what came out was just five percent. We could use the other five to turn on the electricity again."

He took the glove off and placed it back on its place in the middle of the table. Then what looked like my Foton power radiated around the glove and flows into some cable that attached to the table. Suddenly the light went on again.

The nerd gave me another 'I told you' smile. And I slapped him on the back.

"What was that for?" he yelled.

I slapped him again. "You can make me a full body-suit like this?"

"Yeah…?"

"Then do it, Nerd."

He giggled after noticing the smile in my eyes. "Sure, Kacchan. That's what I always intend to do."

Then he asked Hatsume-san to measure my body while he seemed to write a report of what happened in the lab's computer journal. She scanned my body with her mechanic wristband like in Psycho-Pass, and now she had my full measurement in no time.

I looked around the room and found so many bizarre things that you could only see in futuristic, science fiction movies. On the other side of the room, there was a hologram projection of a full-body suit. The description said it was for me, Supernova. I stood there for quite some time, to be honest feeling honored he already thought so much about this. He sorts of noticed my amazement and joined me not long after.

"That's just my early design of your costume. Of course, we can change it depends on your liking."

I turned my head to him. When I saw those freckles on his face, it immediately reminded me of the dream I had last night. This man that stood before me has the same face of the kid that used to always follow me around. But somehow, I felt something different on him. Something that I couldn't figure out what.

"How you know all of this?" I said, trying not to sound too suspicious. But someone that vanished for about thirteen years in thin air and suddenly appeared as a multi-national tech company's CEO? I had all the right to question him.

He shrugged. "Karl Marx said that human idea and thought come about in the moment of solving the problem of survival."

"Only Ironman that need this kind of knowledge to survive."

"Then I don't mind being your Ironman, Kacchan."

I snorted and tried so hard not to punch him. "Then just fucking die."

"Now? But I haven't safe the world from evil, Kacchan."

I couldn't help but laugh this time. "A Deku like you?"

"Oh, you don't know what I might capable of, Kacchan. First thing first, let me treat you to lunch."

**.**

**.**

**.**

We headed to this small Indonesian restaurant not far from Tokyo Midtown for lunch—yeah, even though in the goddamn building also had some fancy restaurants and I honestly don't mind eating anything when he's the one who pays. But, nope. He insisted that he wanted to show me the perfect blend of spices and salt in one serving. When we arrived, he immediately ordered two serves of Sambal Lalapan with rice, traditional Indonesian fried chicken and fried fish, and two glass of Es Cendol.

Wow, looked like someone really tried so hard to impress me.

When the waiter was gone, he looked at me with the same joyful look he always had. "So, how's your mom's doing?"

I can keep up with small talk. But honestly, it was troublesome to describe my mom in a way that easies to understand. "Have you watched Madonna's Carpool Karaoke? Yeah, just like that."

"Wow, as fierce as ever, I guess?"

I laughed. "Yeah. Basically, she refuses to get old."

"You know, I used to have a huge crush on your mom when I was young."

My jaw dropped to the floor and I almost slam the table. "NO. FUCKING. WAY!" The whole restaurant suddenly looking at us. I calmed myself down, then whispered, "Are you into MILF?"

He's the one who immediately laughed this time. "No! I'm always into you, Kacchan. It's just that she looks so much like you. When I imagined how you would look like when you grow up, somehow your mom always popped up in my head." He laughed again. "And I—"

"A perv."

"You're not wrong. Thank you for noticing."

"Shut up and just fucking die. You disgust me."

"I can't die just yet. Your costume is still in development, remember?"

"The pink researcher can do that to me. Just die."

"I won't. I wanna see you become the number one hero first. After that, you can kill me yourself or whatever."

"Then you might live forever, Nerd. That title would never be mine."

The waiter came to serve us our drinks. We said a small 'thanks' before he left and the nerd asked, "But why, Kacchan? As long as I concern, you're the strongest hero from the Billboard Chart. It even confused me why you're not in the top-three already."

"I'm the fourth. It's good enough." I sipped the drink he ordered me, and apparently, it was so sweet yet refreshing with coconut milk blended perfectly with caramel from brown sugar. There were also some green jelly-like things floating around the glass. It's plain taste actually complement the sweetness. "They would never let a female hero getting any higher, Nerd. Especially a hero like me."

"Like what? Beautiful, independent, strong, and clever?"

I spitted my drink a little. I didn't expect that. "No. Emotionally unstable, unfriendly, and has so much trouble."

He drank his drinks. There was a coconut milk mark above his upper lip. "But Endeavor was exactly like that. And he was on top of the Billboard Chart ever since All Might died."

"That's not the point, Nerd. It's simply because I'm a woman! You might have seen so many different perspectives out there, but most people here weren't changing so much since Meiji Restoration. They still regard women as second-class citizens. And having a female pro-hero as the Symbol of Peace will definitely piss all the old-geezer, especially the ones on the Parliament!"

Now the waiter came with our food. We stared at the freshly cooked chicken and fish on one plate, some raw vegetables on another, a very beautiful chili sauces on a small bowl, and two plates of rice. We decided to share both the chicken and the fish, so we could taste the different flavors they had.

After we started digging in, he said, "I think they're just being too insecure of changes. Because basically, people who opposed the new ideas were people who already benefitted from the status quo. But for me personally, I don't see any problem for a female hero to be the new Symbol of Peace. It would inspire young girls to also be the best version of themselves, giving more opportunities to other women in public spaces, and a big step for a more equal society."

It was the first time I heard a man openly opposed the idea of patriarchy. I didn't know whether it was because he was raised overseas or he read too many western books, but this new way of thinking was fresh air for me.

He continued eating, told me to eat the raw vegetable with the chili Sambal Lalapan sauce, then continued, "You might not notice it, but actually women are the strongest people on Earth. They could bear the weight of being pregnant for months and giving birth to another human—something that men couldn't even dare to imagine happen on themselves. Not to mention the monthly period of suffering. I heard it was unbelievably painful."

I giggled in-between enjoying the fried chicken and the chili Sambal Lalapan sauce. "Yeah, true."

"You know, at the dawn of human civilization, men and women were equal. They had the same share amount of jobs and responsibilities to bring food to their communities and raising children. There wasn't any concept of marriage yet, so a woman can sleep with whoever she wants, and her child will be treated as the community's child, where every adult will treat them as their own. But it was changed when the concept of ownership emerged and people started to live a heteronormative and monogamist life to know which child is who's.

"As the human population grew, we needed more food than ever, and the hunter-gatherer changed to production-based jobs. The division of jobs then emerged, when women more preferable to do domestic works while men went to the field. Even when the production was still based on homes and was done equally by men and women, once the demands increased and factories emerged, men's physical power was much more preferred to run the heavy jobs. Without them noticing, it was already the norm for men to work outside the house while women stay inside.

"If the way of life of hunter-gatherer were humanity's point zero in civilization, then we learned that humans actually walked backward, let's say, to minus one hundred. Nowadays movements are only trying to reach back the point zero. And with that perspective, there's nothing wrong with wanting to even take one step further. Maybe humanity and civilization could improve in ways that we couldn't even imagine before. I don't know."

He finished his Ted Talk with shrug. And I just could smile and giggled. "Wow, nice to hearing all of that."

"If anything, I'd say you'd doing a great job, Kacchan," he said again while separating the fish's bones from its meat. "The first and only female hero in top-ten Hero Billboard? That's so dope! I'm sure you already inspired millions of young girls in Japan without even noticing it!"

I didn't know what to say. I focused myself to enjoy eating my meal instead. "S-shut up…"

I knew my face already blushing hard from the chili sauce. I could feel my cheeks burning inside-out and sweats running down my body. Unlike me, the nerd never touched the sauce so he could smile innocently while making fun of my suffering. "You're so cute, Kacchan."

If I'm not gasping for air right now, I might've punched him. "Fuck off."

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**Friendly advice: to get into the mood better, you could read the following section while listening to Rihanna – Kiss it Better**

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I took off my leather jacket and tied it around my waist for the rest of the day, while he was still comfortable wearing the long green coat that didn't remotely look formal.

We walked for about ten minutes from the restaurant back to Tokyo Midtown and headed straight to the 53rd floor where his work-space was. The room was basically just another tech lab, only with more personal things than the others. Large spaces, a few comfortable couches, a piano beside the big window, some sports equipment, and lots and lots of books. Like I couldn't even walk two steps away without stepping on a book. Yeah, basically just like Tony Starks', but more messed up. On one of the walls, there were two shelves of All Might memorabilia in all short of forms. Now that's the only thing about the nerd that I'm familiar with.

He took off his coat and hang it up on the wall, then immediately sat behind his work desk that facing the massive window with afternoon sky. He turned on his computer and using his pen-tablet to draw as he talked. "So… you want your costume to cover basically your whole body except the head, right? But what if we also make an automatic helmet for you? So that you could fly to space without losing the oxygen anymore. Like, you know, Captain Marvel's costume? And I always wondering, Kacchan, aren't you too much like her? Not only the hair and the power but also the attitude and such. Not like I'm complaining, though. But does that mean you also want to travel the spaces?"

My mind was elsewhere the whole time he talked, and my eyes couldn't move from the photograph on his desk. There, his mother was hugging his little body, and they were laughing at the camera. That color already fading, yet I saw no other photograph displayed here. Then suddenly I noticed something.

"Nerd." He just replied with a small 'hn?', not even bother to raise his head from the screen. "Inko is your mother's name, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad you remember."

"Of course." I crossed my arms on my chest as I swam deeper into my thought. Because my dad passed away when I was young and my mom has to work every time, Deku's mom has been treating me like I was her own daughter. Whatever Deku had, she made sure to ask me if I also want the same thing. Whenever I had trouble at home, she always cooked me dinner and asked me to sleep over. Those small gestures helped me through some rough times. Suddenly the feeling of longing filled my heart. "How is she?"

The nerd stopped his hands from the computer. He put down the pen and even awkwardly scratched his head. His eyes now avoiding mine, and suddenly the air became weird. "She… already passed away."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. "What?!"

"It's a long time ago. Was it when I was twelve… or thirteen? I don't really remember. It was a few months before we graduate from middle school."

That was when dread crept down my spines. _'No way….'_

"You know that she had breast cancer, right? Apparently, it was a very serious one. Who knows since when her cancer already spreading to her lungs and the other vital organs. The medication and chemotherapy were only weakened her. Her death was inevitable, and I've been preparing myself for it. And it was a long time ago, anyway. So, yeah, it doesn't really bother me right now."

Then I remembered, in the third year in middle school, he suddenly disappeared for months. Everyone was asking about him but the teachers wouldn't say anything. When he showed up again at school, everything already changed for us. "Was it when you were constantly missing school?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah, I've been staying with her the whole time. My father was abroad, so she only had me as mental support. We also moved out to a villa in the forest in Yamanashi, just because it was closer to the hospital and had a better view that could help her relax."

His previous house wasn't really far from the house that I grew up in, and was notorious as the most extravagant house in the neighborhood. Nobody was stupid enough to not know the name of the Midoriyas, as they also owned a hospital and few medical research labs all over Japan. In between his elite house and my rundown apartment, there was a small forest on the hill.

The hill was exactly the backyard of our houses, and we always spent our days playing together there. Visiting each-others' places anytime became a normal thing for us. Even though his family background was completely different than mine, he never complained about the narrow rooms and damp air in my house, and would often stay with me until my mother came home from work. And as I said before, his mother always welcomes me in their house like I also belonged there.

But after he disappeared, that house was empty for weeks before a new family moved in. I never knew where they were moved into, and I never saw her mom again ever since.

"She was buried there." The nerd now looking down, playing with his thumbs. "Nobody actually lives there anymore… but her things still there. I visit once in a while when I have the time. Oh, right. Kacchan, would you like to…." He stopped for a second and looked me wide-eyed, before panicking. "I'm sorry! I ruined the mood, didn't I? I didn't mean to tell you that. I'm so, so sorry, Kacchan!"

The tears just started falling from my eyes on their own. Seemed like I couldn't find the tap to stop it. "I thought… I thought that you had enough… of being with me…."

He got even bewildered. "W-what? Why did you think like that?"

"Because…" now I started sobbing like three years old girl. "we used to always be together, but suddenly you were gone." My voice was hoarse and shaky, and it was actually embarrassing to even show my face to him. But the burden on my chest just tried so hard to escape my mouth, and I couldn't hold the years worth of paranoid thoughts any longer. "No goodbye, no text, no explanation, just gone! And when you came back after a few months, you were like someone else!" I tried to hold my tears at this point, but just making everything worse. When I said, "You didn't even talk to me…" my voice almost lost in my throat.

He stood up to look me in the eyes, looked like holding his breath while tried to figure out the situation. "But you bullied me, Kacchan. I didn't have the chance to explain."

"Because I was angry at you!" I yelled unconsciously. At this point, I had no idea what would happen anymore. "I was angry… and terrified. My dad got murdered, and I was raped when you were gone. At the alley we used to take the short-cuts to my house? Yeah, there. And I killed the man. After that, I even killed my mother's lover out of misunderstanding. It was horrible. I went to your house many times but it was empty. I didn't know where you go, and I didn't know how to contact you. I was angry… and sad. I didn't know what to do."

The sobbing and screaming made my throat hurt so bad. This kind of emotional roller-coaster never suits me well because I'm a loser to handle the after-effect. And now I laid myself bare in front of the nerd—all the weakness, shame, fear, grieve, and fury; something I never did before, even to the four best pals I ever had. I was so embarrassed and couldn't get myself to look at him. I want the Abyss to open up and swallow me whole. I want to hide in a dark corner alone in coldness and die in silence.

But softly and cautiously, he called my name. "Kacchan, can I hug you?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. My body froze, my arms hiding my face from the shame, but I could still feel his body warmth as he stood closer and closer. When I finally gave him a small and weak nod, he slowly put his arms around me and place my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kacchan…." He said under the whisper. His breathing a little bit shaky as he also tried to hold his tears. "I didn't know that happened to you. I'm sorry…." He tightened his embrace and put his head on my shoulder. "It was also a dark time for me. I also didn't know what to do."

"You… you left to the US after that…." I said between my sobbing.

He stroked my head with his warm hand. "I'm sorry I left you alone." With a slow touch, he lightly kissed the side of my head. "But I seriously thought you didn't want to see me."

I sobbed again, "I didn't."

"Right?" He stroked my head even more. "So I thought we need some time and space to cool our head first." With caution, now he kissed my cheek.

I didn't know what's gotten into me. But when I realized, my hands already on his neck and shoulder like trying to get a grip on reality. "But you were gone for years."

"I'm sorry… but I had so many things to do." He kissed my forehead this time, then down to my eyelid. "But believe me when I said I tried my best to settle things immediately, so I can come back to you." Now he kissed my nose. "If I have known what you've been through, I would never leave you." He rubbed my tears with his thumbs, and his big, warm hands now cupping my face. With a little push, he brought my head down and kissed my forehead a little harder.

His every touch was so careful, even a little hesitant. Like he might cut me anytime. Like I might break in his hands. I could feel his body getting warmer as his heart beating faster. And the serene atmosphere around us brought my sanity back. I pulled off from his embrace with a face burning from the inside, still couldn't look into his eyes. Slowly he grabbed my hands, and said softly, "Do you forgive me?"

I tried to hide my face by looking down. "I… don't know."

He placed his forehead on mine, and I could see him smiling. "That's good enough."

When I was ready to face him again, I felt like there's some unknown power that pulled us closer. When our lips touched, slowly and carefully, the world seemed like fading away in the background and all I could think about was how soft and warm this feeling was. In a space where we closed our eyes and holding each other, nothing else seems to matter.

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**To be Continue**

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Hi, it's Lee Audrey!

Finally I could see the end of this chapter…. This chapter just getting longer and longer before I even noticed…. FYI, my major is Japanese Studies, not anything science related. So if I get something wrong (especially about the nuclear), please tell me please….

Yeah, I'm from Indonesia and those are my favorite food. For people that didn't know, what they eat and drink weren't something fancy. Actually, it was a common cuisine that you could find in every corner of the street in Indonesia. Izuku introduced them to Kacchan just because fried chicken and fried fish with Sambal Lalapan are the perfect dish for people that love spicy and salty food. And I'm. not. joking! It's soooo delicious! If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, you already know the answer.

I was working on my end-term essay about feminism, culture, and such, when I was writing this. So, yeah. Izu and Katsu's philosophical thoughts actually just my way for taking notes, LoL.

And while I'm still in quarantine, I'd like to try to update this fiction every one or two weeks. I hope the story would end before the next semester started in September or I'm gonna die.

Oh, yeah, and happy #PrideMonth!

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**A little note about their sexuality and romantic preferences.**

**Katsumi: **asexual, demiromantic.

**Izuku**: pansexual, demiromantic (or, should I say, Kacchanromantic)

**Eijirou: **heterosexual, heteroromantic.

**Shouko: **bisexual, aromantic.

**Denki**: homosexual, homoromantic.

**Shinsou**: bisexual, demiromantic.

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**What do you think about this chapter?**

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**With love,**

**Lee Audrey**

**(June, 22****nd**** 2020)**


	9. A Song of Past and Lover

**Sanctuary**

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**A 'My Hero Academia' fanfiction**

**Kirishima x Fem!Katsumi x Villain!Deku**

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**Summary**:

"You have a good claim; a title, a birthright. But you have something more than that; you may cover it up and deny it, but you have a gentle heart. You would be not only respected and feared, but you would also be loved. Someone who can rule and should rule. Centuries come and go without a person like that coming into the world. _There are times that I look at you and I still can't believe you're real_."

(Ser Jorah to Daenerys)

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**WARNING:**

**Very long**

**Game of Thrones major references alert!**

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**Chapter 9: A Song of Past and Lover**

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**#Kirishima's PoV**

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There was a legend in UA about someone called The Dragon Queen.

They said she was so terrifying she could burn anyone at her disposal, but so beautiful everyone had a thing for her but none brave enough to admit that. Her golden-ash hair almost white, always waving gracefully whenever she blasts her quirk while maintaining her cold stare. She was so strong, could win every battle her enemies dared to challenge her; so smart, everybody unconsciously would gather up and lean closer whenever she opens her mouths. They said she was the first female student that won first place in Sports Festival and maintained it three years in a row. The title was unchallenged until this day, and almost every student—male and female—that I had the chance to asked were proudly claimed that she was their role model, their heroin, their fictional-almost-real queen.

She's the dragon queen that the very blood was fire and lava, but her heart was freezing cold no one ever conquer them. She's a perfect and beautiful human being that sounds almost mythical, and her very legend was like the existence of the dragon itself.

Curiosity then had the best of me even though I could guess who the said legend might be. My feet brought me to the student hall where they kept photographs of UA's greatest alumnus while I was reminiscing my glorious high-school days as my eyes wandered around the long corridor. And then I found her, right beside All Might's photograph, the legendary Dragon Queen that apparently has the face beyond familiar to me.

"Oh my God," I gasped, almost laughed, but extremely touched.

Who would've thought that I've been living with a legend this whole time?

Dragon Queen, huh? I remembered very well the old days when Katsumi showed up as Daenerys Targaryen for our first Halloween at UA, looked so rugged and beaten up as her chosen character in the first season. People started calling her Khaleesi out of nowhere—either as a joke, because everyone knew how weak Daenerys was on the first season of Game of Thrones, or as a real compliment after she conquered the Sports Festival—and she never complained about that.

I guess she even delighted, because on the next Halloween, after winning her second Sports Festival, she showed up as the badass version of the Dragon Queen—with Daenerys' iconic blue costume and robotic dragons that she managed to build with some help from hero supporter's course. Mina, Denki, Sero, and I were also into this dark-LotR theme, with Mina as Missandei, Denki as Ser Jorah, Sero as Grey Worm, and I was Daario Naharis. We won the costume contest that year, and dozens of people asked to take photographs with us. Ever since that day, the title of 'UA's Dragon Queen' was clung onto Katsumi, and 'The Targaryen House' on us. She wore it with pride and dignity as her favorite character also thrives on her conquest one after another in the Game of Thrones TV plot-line.

The next year, to honor our Queen of Dragons, the Legendary Winner of Sport Festival Three Years in a Row, and the Khaleesi of the Great UA Hero Course, the student council decided that Western Fantasy would be the theme for that year Halloween. While a lot of people took this opportunity to explore classic pop-culture references like Harry Potter, Disney Princesses, Lord of the Rings, Viking, The Witcher—heck, even the Avengers and Justice League—or just the other houses from Game of Thrones universe, all five of us were still persistent as the last carrier of the Targaryen house's sigil.

God… does the time did a number on me? How could I forget something so memorable like this?

But, really, the _Dragon freaking Queen_? I can't believe the name still existed until this day. I mean, if you didn't know her as well as we do, you might just know her as a brutal feminist-tyrant that might also be a lesbian, and just forget her high school life story like you would with your own. But if you understand her as much I as we do, watching her grew as a person, you would understand what a pure being she was and why that name suited her so well. Heck, she even seriously considered 'Dragon Queen' and 'Khaleesi' to be her pro-hero name, before eventually settled down with 'Supernova'.

Yes, a woman named Bakugou Katsumi could be terrifying and intimidating most of the time, but you could also find her bent on her knee to pat some stray cats or dogs at UA's backyard—or anywhere, really—whenever she had the chance. Yes, she could look heartless and mean, but she would also be the first to go to the frontline if someone messes with the people she holds dear. And yes, she could be spouting lava or throwing a thousand laser punches like a Jedi, but once you won her heart (and it's not easy), she could be as sweet and fragile as a blossoming rose.

Actually, the Dragon Queen title wouldn't just appear out of nowhere. Everything began from the day we were demanded to act like a hero for the very first time: the UA entrance examination battle.

With a perfect score on both rescue and villain point, nobody would believe that the person who blasted through dozens of giant robotic villains and still had the chance to actually saved people, got thrown all over the place and beaten to a pulp, but eventually rose among all the smoke and fire like the real Daenerys Targaryen, was a real girl.

I mean, if you see the recording, she wasn't looked like a girl at all—with her ash-blonde spiky hair in a pixie cut, loose shirt with baggy trousers, flat chested, lean and tall figure, no smile, no talk, plus cold stare from her blood-shot red eyes, anyone would immediately think of her as a very badass dude with no shit to give, rather than a cold beauty queen.

At that very moment, people have already called her a dragon because of how scary she was. So yeah, things just going to escalate after that.

On the first day of school, after getting lost trying to find my homeroom class, the very first thing that I noticed in a classroom full of strangers was her cold stare that pierced through me, stripped me bare, but then just threw me away like I was another leftover food. And if you think that was enough to scare me away and prevent me to ask her nicely to be my friend, then you're wrong.

She was wearing the male uniform and as a naïve boy I was, I walked to her and offered my hand as I introduced myself—full of pride and confidence over the new Kirishima Eijirou with new manly hair and new manly attitude—one thousand percent positive she would be my first bro. But as stupid as I was, I just called her 'the dragon dude' without bothering to remember her name except for the manly 'Bakugou', and she threw me the most disgusted look I had ever receive in my entire life.

And then I was shocked. She didn't even say anything but she made me feel less than trash. Thank goodness Mina and Sero were also in the same class, or else I would definitely bury myself over the shame that I had no clue what was about, and slummed back to the old Eijiirou.

As I tried to build my confidence back, the homeroom teacher suddenly told us to went out onto the field and had a quirk assessment test. Because she had the highest score in the entrance exam, he called her name first—a very feminine name, if you ask my opinion—and told her to demonstrate her quirk by throwing a softball. At that point, I was ready to be blown away by her cinematic explosions. But the only thing that got blown was the poor robotic softball because once she held the ball and activate her quirk, the ball was popped like a balloon to a needle. She was shocked—I could see it clearly—and the same thing repeated.

Finally, at the last try, she took a deep breath, took the stance, and just activate her quirk a mere second before she threw it away. The ball flew like a meteor, far to the unknown, and the teacher told us that she almost broke All Might's record.

And the crowds. Went. Crazy!

All of us gathered around her like moths to the light, and she seemed uneasy but wouldn't even say anything let alone push us away. She nailed almost all of the rest assessments and the more successful she was, the more people were rooting over her.

The problem emerged once the boys started to realize that she was nowhere to be found when we were changing in the locker room. Just a quick reminder, no one realizes that Katsumi was a girl yet. Yeah, I know it's confusing… like you have to narrate Arya Stark for dozens of chapters using 'she' and 'her' while people calling her 'he' and 'him'.

But it was the tradition, right?—where the ace of the team would be awed by everyone and flex their superhuman body naked. But, nope. Days and days passed, she still wouldn't show up. Bored, the boys somehow picked on a dude that walks and talks so flamboyantly they even straight-forward asking him whether he was gay. The poor dude, Kaminari Denki, just shaking his blonde head and laughed awkwardly, before changing the topic and everyone went on with their lives.

When we confronted Katsumi at the class to ask where she was, she wouldn't say anything; just glared at us, looking bored, then back at her books. She even spent the first few days not speaking at all! People started to assumed she was either deaf or mute, and one of the boys even went to abnormal lengths like grabbed her clothes suddenly, and stare at her eye to eye. But you know what, one thing that no one ever predicts, was her reaction.

Once the guy grabbed her right on the chest, both of them immediately froze in internal panic, and Katsumi—like a badass boss she always is—grabbed the guy's neck and blasted them with her quirk.

The class went crazy again!

The guy was saved but has to be sent to Recovery Girl's office and was absent for days, while we finally could hear her voice for the very first time as she tried to explain to the teacher what just happened and why she did what she does. Her voice wasn't necessarily small or soft—it was a complete opposite. But people would immediately realize that she has a higher pitch than the normal boys, and it wasn't because she was late on puberty or something. We just had to learn the hard truth that the ace of the team, the natural-born alpha, was actually a female alpha (and no one should mess with her, like, seriously, **don't**).

I laughed and cringed remembering that. It was the days when I still naïve but also relieved that I wasn't stupid enough to give her a pat on the back or even on the chest before this thing happened.

But I did want to help her by also trying to explain to the teacher that it wasn't actually her fault, because they've been on each other's throats for fifteen minutes. They immediately understood, and just gave her a probation warning. I was so happy I finally had the chance to do something heroic. When I turned to her to get a high five, she shot me with her deadly glare again and stormed away looking more pissed than ever.

That's the moment I started to think I couldn't understand girls.

In the next P.E. class, the boys wouldn't even go near her. They just cowardly hissed '_okama'_, 'weird', 'trans', or even 'pussy' behind her back, and it was clear that she's been trying so hard not to give them any shit. As the only other female student in the class, Mina went on her own to accompany her, and weirdly she even responded to her. When I was about to do the same, at least to tell the boys to stop harassing her, Sero grabbed my shoulder and shook his head. He said, "Don't. Or you're gonna be the one that gets in trouble. Yeah, it was wrong, but it's also part of her fault to hide her identity like that. And if she was doing it purposely, she also has to be ready for the consequences."

I hate to admit it, but he was right. This high school life was a new starter for me and I'm still too fucking coward to mess that up.

Our high school days after that were like endless fighting scenes in Jessica Jones, where people would randomly pick a fight with her and she would win effortlessly. The alpha of the pack now became the lone wolf, and truth to be told, I also disliked her because my pride as a man told me so. I mean, she's a girl, and she defeated me countless times! At the entrance exam battle, at the quirk assessment test, at every subject, _everything_! I was pretty confident about my new self, but facing the human perfection embodied in a girl that pretending to be a guy, simply crumbled my self-esteem to the ground.

In the end, I couldn't even reach out to her, moreover, help her. She would jump to a fist-fight one after another in front of my eyes and I just do nothing. But at some point, the boys learned their lesson somehow and never mess with her again.

Through all of the chaos, Mina always stuck to her like bubblegum to a shoe. The boys then directed their stupidity by starting a rumor that both Mina and Katsumi were lesbians and they were secretly dating. And as usual, Katsumi doesn't give any shit as long as they weren't physically threatening her. But when Mina tried to clear the misunderstanding—I guess for Katsumi's sake—the boys said something along the line like, "Then, prove it!" and when she couldn't do anything, they started to sexually harass her.

That's when the table turned again.

This time not only Katsumi who threw the punches, but I also lost it. My body jumped on its own and beat the shit out of them. In the end, all of us was ended in the infirmary for the rest of the day and got detained and Mina had to undergo some therapy for a while. And before I left the school, for the very first time Katsumi spoke to me.

It was just a small 'thanks' with her usually stoic face, but somehow I feel like my heart stopped for a second but my blood somehow still found a way to rush all over my body.

Calmed myself down by believing that she was just being nice with no ulterior motive whatsoever, I started to see her in a different light. Maybe she dressed like a boy because she wanted to, because that was what made her comfortable, or because that was her personality. Maybe she doesn't speak because she doesn't need to clarify anything, or simply just doesn't care. Maybe she was always with Mina because they understood each other at how hard it was to stay sane as a girl in a room full of high-hormone teenage boys. Maybe she indeed a lesbian, and she loved my childhood orphanage friend, and so what? Maybe it was just a natural phenomenon when people of the same gender would gather up due to the same-like thinking and experience they had. Whether it's true or not, they weren't bothering anybody so my opinion was nothing wrong with that.

Out of my detention days, at least I could feel that I understood her, even for a little bit.

After that, I tried again to reach out to her first by making small conversation, asking her to teach me subject that I was bad at (which means, a lot), or just randomly helping her out whenever she seemed too prideful to do so—anything that shortens the gap between us. It wasn't always successful, because I think she still had some superstitions about boys. But, hey, at least at the Sports Festival she chose me as one of her horses at the cavalry battle and we won! She could begin her legend as the undefeatable was all thanks to me—and also Mina and Sero, if I want to be fair.

But all of that glory as the first place was meant nothing when she got no internship offer from any hero agency. When she asked around the teachers and school committees, they revealed the excuse that the hero agencies were still afraid to hire female heroes because there were still so many flaws in the new regulation about permitting women professionally working in this dangerous line of work. The law was also new, and people's assumption at women was still limited to domestic housework, so the agencies didn't want to bid on uncertainty like a female high-schooler playing hero with the pros.

…which is a bullshit excuse for Katsumi.

The devastating truth led her to unwillingly spent the summer helping her mother opened her new clothing-line business—something that she admits wasn't her passion at—after years and years working under some yakuza group in a shady host-club. But you could understand that she was actually a good daughter for the fact that she's still doing them nonetheless.

When the autumn came and the new semester started, she got us by surprise as she walked into the room being unapologetically feminine. She wore an actual school skirt (even with thick, black stocking), her golden hair was loose below the shoulders, and chest that not bonded flat anymore! Her Dragon title escalated with a 'queen' suffix as people started to admire her beauty. The girls idolized her like she was a real ruler, beloved by her citizens because whenever they had any sexist or sexual related problem, they could rely on Katsumi to be the shoulder to cry on and even the fists to fight with. Even the boys were often talking about her new semester debut when we were in the locker room, but none of them was insane enough to mess with her again.

On Halloween a couple of months later, Katsumi shocked us all. Her cosplay as one of the most iconic characters of the rising adult tv series, Daenerys Targaryen, was phenomenal because she really looked like the real deal. I mean, with the long hair blonde wig, fantastic costume her mom made her, and mean angry face, she did look like Daenerys on the first couple seasons. I mean, no judge, I love her usual style because it looked much more approachable (even if she really wasn't), but this change of look wasn't bad either. And that's when 'the Dragon Queen' got really attached to Daenerys in particular, so people also started calling her 'Khaleesi' and even comparing her to the actual character.

When everything seemed so fine in heaven, the bullies moved to Denki. They started harassing him by calling him slurs so painful I couldn't even mention them. The actually delicate Denki would always just brush it off and laughed, but I even noticed that every mean word was slowly cutting his heart to pieces. He just doesn't want to cause trouble and lose his friendship with the boys, and definitely wasn't as strong and confident to stand alone in me-versus-the-world battle like Katsumi.

Because the said person didn't look like wanting any outside help, both Katsumi and I decided to also not ruin the balance of nature. In this wreck society we live in, there was always someone that has to bear the blame and shame, no matter how silly the reason might be. It just how our society copes and survive amid all the chaos of constant disastrous tragedies and evil villain attacks. And we get it. It's human nature to seek for a scape-goat.

But the kind-hearted Mina suddenly stepped out to the battle again, outright telling the boys that it wasn't okay to dehumanize others with harsh and ill-intention words. Her action silenced us all and again made me embarrassed at myself that even dared to dream to become a hero if something as simple as defending others I couldn't even do. The boys fell into silence at once, and they left them alone for the day.

And again, when it seemed like the storm has just passed, nature proved us wrong.

One morning on one fine winter day, when the temperature slowly plumed down and the air thinner, Denki rushed out of the classroom while trying so hard to hold his tears down. Nobody knows where the poor boy ran off to, but all of us that was still in the room felt the heavier than life tension as we stare at the LCD screen before the chalkboard that displayed gay prostitution add edited with Denki's face. The model was in such sensual and almost humiliating pose it was unimaginable how horrible it feels seeing the face of your own classmate shewn onto them.

Before anyone dares to move or even made a simple breathing sound audible, our homeroom teacher hissed in the menacing deadly aura, "Who did this?" but nobody dares to raise a voice—in my case and Katsumi's, it was because we were furious we got speechless. But finally, after a couple of intense minutes that felt like hours, someone among us shouts, "Sensei, I think whoever in the cleaning duty yesterday was the one who did this."

And suddenly all eyes were on Mina. She was the only one left behind to do the cleaning duty because the other guys had cheap excuses like club activities or sick-leave.

And it snapped the hell out of Katsumi.

As Mina crying out her innocence, Katsumi suddenly broke the commotion by kicking off her seat, jumped across the room to grabbed the LCD projector like an NBA player doing a slam-dunk, and epically landed on the ground before blasted the projector with her quirk to pieces. Everyone fell into silence once more, this time because no one dares to provoke a dragon that about to breathe fire even more.

And that exactly what she was—a dragon at the brink of her patience.

With her inner rage that everyone could feel, she gave us the deadliest stare that sent shivers down my spine. With slow wave over the broken machine on her hand, she said, "This could happen to all of the fucking cowards in this class if no one admits who did this shit." Then she started to count-down from ten.

Every second after that felt like the most intense ten seconds in my life, like you're playing with the devil despite you know she would outsmart you and you would end in hell still. Some people started to panicking and attacked her by spouting argument at how crazy she was, calling her irrational and too emotional. But she just kept counting, down and down, until when she reached zero and nobody admits who the culprit was, she started to attack them one by one… like… for real punching all the boys by their faces!

It was horrific and chaotic! The homeroom teacher couldn't even do anything at this point, both because his quirk wasn't suitable for this kind of situation and also because Katsumi unconsciously using the power she hides this whole time to went on full-rage mode, so he ran out of the room to call for help. In the meantime, the class turned to be a real-life street-fighting pit when every quirk and every martial art involved.

I told Mina to stay back, and after she ran out of the class, I jumped straight into the eye of the storm to hold Katsumi back, at least defending my classmates from her raging Foton blasts that already knocked out a few of them. But, boy, how stupid I was. My hardening quirk wasn't strong enough at that time and easily ruined by her godly punches. She sent me flying across the room to hit the iron wall so hard it made me light-headed. A river of blood then streaming down my skull, not to mention the burnt she left on my bare skin.

Before I almost fell unconscious, I still saw Sero that trying to hold her down with his tape—which was useless because her skin burnt them all—before suddenly Denki stormed into the class with Mina. He shocked Katsumi with his electricity to get her attention, then started to reassure her that everything was fine, he was okay, and he feels touched by her actions but it was still too much. In the end, the wild dragon could only be tamed by Denki and Mina's tender hugs as they kept telling their gratitude toward her.

And suddenly everything was peaceful again. Everything fell to silence as the heavy cloud in the room lifted showing the clear sky.

The class was canceled that day because all of us has to undergo some treatments in the infirmary. And after some hard negotiation among the teachers, it was decided that Katsumi wouldn't be expelled because finally they admit that every fight she had was always because of protecting someone else, and they also would find out who the actual culprit was.

Until this day, they wouldn't reveal the suspect, and actually, we no longer care. But on that day onwards, no one—literally **NO ONE**—dare to mess with them ever since.

The days went Cold-War-like peacefully as Denki and Mina always stuck to Katsumi wherever she goes. Meanwhile, my relation to her was also cold as she wasn't had any intention to apologize—damn, maybe she even didn't admit that what she did was wrong—and I clearly couldn't forgive her yet because more than the physical pain, my pride was hurt the most.

As we let the time heal the pain, suddenly it was already the season for Sports Festival again. One challenge after another I faced in a sole intention to defeat her. But no matter how much I tried, it felt like I was racing with the wind. Despair almost fell onto me once more as I lamenting why on Earth I still couldn't beat her. But on the cavalry horse battle, she suddenly approached me and asked me to be her horse once more. Mina and Denki were also smiling and offering their hands to me. And somehow, all the dark shadow on my mind lifted as I reached their hands and proudly said yes.

Of course, we won—other teams were already scared shit the second they saw Katsumi on top of our cavalry. And on the next challenge, where we had to fight one on one, I had either the worst luck or the best opportunity to face her directly. When she's your ally, she could be the best weapon and commander. But as your foe, she's your worst nightmare.

Before I could even react, she blasted me with her quirk so fast and so hard I was thrown away a few meters again, but this time I could still hold my footing firm. The next five minutes were full of her cosmic blasts that blew the clouds of dust to the air and surrounded the arena with heavy smoke. It was actually the battle of resilience as the only thing I could do except occasional punch whenever she was on my arm-length, was just hardening my skin and muscles even more in defense. The blasts went on and on until finally both of us were losing our breaths. The only difference was that she still unscratched while I was already wretched all over. And in no time, I fell on my knees and passed out.

The moment I opened my eyes again was when the judges called out my name as the second winner of the Sports Festival, and her as the first. Not a surprising thing, so I calmly walked to the podium to wait for my medal. But that was when everything changed. She exceeded my expectation again as she suddenly slapped my back and gave me the brightest and purest smile she ever shown the world, then said, "It was a nice battle. Good job."

And that's it. I lost it.

My blood rushed wildly in my vein and suddenly all I could think about were her beautiful smile and her sweet laughing voice. Suddenly, out of nowhere, her image became a thousand times prettier with divine light coming from above and I couldn't stop myself to stare at her like a child to his idol. It stayed like that for the rest of the day and I obviously looked so stupid.

At that time, I couldn't admit that I was already fell for her. But as a stupid teenage boy that unconsciously always has a secret desire to attracted his crush's attention, when she had no offer for the summer internship for the same reason with last year's, I reached out to my boss, Fat Gum, to asked him whether he could pull some strings to help her out. Turned out he contacted his old pal, Best Jeanist, and after seeing how talented Katsumi was on the Sports Festivals, he eventually agreed to hire her. I bet until this day she doesn't know that it was actually thanks to me, but well, she doesn't need to.

Now all of those memories just brought tears to my eyes. I wiped them as I took one last stare at the legendary Dragon Queen slash Supernova's photograph, so majestic and always beautiful. After a deep sigh, I opened my phone, stared longingly at the screen-lock wallpaper where Mina and I were smiling to the camera, before checking on the data that police has sent me—a folder named 'Unsolved Cases', which without me knowing, would be the key that led me into something darker than life.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**#Katsumi's PoV**

**.**

After the day I was raped, my mom said to me—with fire and determination that I've never seen on her before, "In a world where you can't depend on no one but you, you have to be your own hero." That's why I've been fighting my whole life—the bullies, the bad guys, my demon; and I started to realize that my life has been more of an endless process of self-discovery and self-invention where error and mistake could happen, rather than a goal-oriented project.

There's also something that I've been trying to fight with, but never dare to really have the guts to face: my own limit. What would happen to me if I use my power one hundred percent—physically and mentally speaking? Is it possible to use even more than that? Is it true that once I passed the limit bar, I would lose my consciousness? Does my demon would really take the wheel? And would the world crumble in my wake?

"Are you ready, Kacchan?" asked the nerd suddenly over the small voice transmitter in my ears, jolted me from my thought. I looked at him who watching me closely from behind the thick glass wall, being all excited over every little shit for a while now.

It's been a few days since the day he proposed his new technology idea to me. Now it was going to be the third trial for the prototype costume he tried to make for me.

And to answer his question, I said, "Yeah, let's do this shit."

He laughed a little then started counting down from ten, after saying that I already know what I had to do.

This trial was supposed to test my power limit and record it for future references. How many electromagnetic and gamma radiation I could emit, how does my metabolism cope with that, and whether or not my power really usable. This far nothing bad happened, because the nerd always does quality check over every new part of the suit and their latest prototypes before he handed it down to me for the real show.

This time I was supposed to reach the eighty percent bar. Even though I've been done it before, but doing it indoor in an office building with countless people on thousands kilometer radius, instead of in an open sky where I could be sure I wouldn't even hurt a fly, was totally making me nervous. But the nerd's, "Are you okay?" question not making it easier to breathe.

"Just shut up, Deku. I'll do it."

I took a deep breath and started exerting my energy. Slowly but surely, I pushed myself harder as I imaginably counted the percentage of my power. Ten, twenty, I could feel my blood rushing harder and hotter; thirty, forty, the light from my quirk ignite the large isolated room; fifty, sixty, the view started to distort as heat conquer the room; seventy, eighty, my bones started to ache as my blood boils inside and I screamed my lungs out. I can control my energy even if it hurts. The suit will protect everyone from me. I can do it.

"_Katsumi_,_" _I heard her in my head; my monster. She whispered to me like a demon telling me to commit evil. _"You're a monster." _The scenes from last month's shopping district accident playing through my mind like distorted video—over and over, but now from a different perspective: the first person. I heard screaming. I saw dust, smoke, and blood. I felt the heat when my quirk left my body to attack the flying villain that kept throwing me buildings. I saw Mina and Sero. I saw them dying in front of me.

Suddenly I shut my quirk off. Heavy breathing is the only thing I could do. The light in the building was gone like someone actually pressed the switch.

In-between wild breathing and guilt of being a mass-murderer (again), I asked the nerd, "How was it?"

And his happy voice was never more irritating than this, "You did great! We got the data. I think we're ready for the next trial."

But that was only bringing dread to me. "No, I'm not doing it here. I can't. I won't. If you want me all out, we're also need to go out."

"Oh, Kacchan, I appreciate the date invitation, but could we discuss that later?"

"No! I mean the trial, jackass!" I unconsciously screamed from the top of my lungs, really pissed. "We're doing it outside or we're done!"

"Okay, I get it." He sounded a little bit shocked. "So, when are you ready?"

I had to take a minute to control my heartbeat. "Take me somewhere remote and I'm ready."

He put the biggest grin I ever saw. "Say, Kacchan, will you come to my place?"

**.**

**.**

He led me to his green Lamborgini car and took me somewhere far from Minato, passed the prefecture where I live in, then off we went into the endless hills and trees around Mount Fuji. He took me to Yamanashi just by looking out the window, which means to the house his mother was buried.

All along the ride we just sat in silence while listening to Adele's melancholic songs. There's something in her voice that always made me want to cry, like her every word could root deep through my heart and made it ached.

I will tell you that it's not like me to fell into the melodramatic phase while in the company of someone. If I can do it later, I would. But there's really something in the nerd that made me feels like home… like my old self. Like me before I fucked up and still could see the blue sky differently.

He noticed me fell into sudden sadness and slowed down the car a little. "Kacchan, are you okay?" he asked again in more concern than before.

I turned my head outside the window, didn't know what to tell him or whether I should tell him at all. But the aches in my chest just getting harder and harder for me to breathe. "Say, nerd…" I opened my mouth and this small voice was the one that came out. "…do you believe in Satan?"

He laughed. "I'd like to say that I only believe in science, but… there are times that I do believe that demons and angels exist. Most of the time it's only you and your consciousness, fighting and arguing. And sometimes, we call them with those biblical creatures—depends on the situation."

"How about people that have PTSD?"

"Then in their eyes, their past trauma was the one they called a demon. But not all of what happened in the past are bad, right? Sometimes you could also find angels among them. You just have to be willing to see them, really. After all, Lucifer was once an angel. And it's not impossible to see an angel and a demon in one body; that creature is called human."

I pulled a smile and looked at him. "Nice saying."

He smiled back. "I can say a lot more if that makes you smile like that."

I scoffed and smacked his arms a little. "Nice try."

Adele's Water Under the Bridge upbeat tempo lighten up my mood even though the song was about heartbreak. But the nerd sang it with so much confidence like he has Moriuchi Takahiro's voice—which, he obviously not—and I couldn't help but laugh.

Once we got deeper into the stack of trees, we drove past a small road that led to a small yet classic European gate. The guard recognized him immediately, opened the gate, and we resumed the three minutes drives just to get to the front door of his massive house.

Yeah, no wonder why I couldn't find where he moved into.

His house reminds me of the ones that British aristocrats in the movie have, with so many beautiful paintings and other fine arts here and there. Some people that work here greeted us warmly as we passed by. The nerd led me through every floor until we reached the highest, where, he explained, was the planetarium. The ceiling was made by dark glass that linked to golden irons and could open up to let out a giant telescope you usually only found in space observatories. Surrounds us were many kinds of exotic plants, healthy and blossoming as they greeted us. There were two shelves full of maps and books in so many languages, while the table was like the one a cartographer would have. I'm assuming whoever used this room was always mapping the stars, either as a hobby or a living. And looking at how familiar the nerd with everything in this room, I'm assuming they weren't his father's.

Oh, and apparently the glass ceilings were also decorated with transparent star maps.

I hate to admit it, but I couldn't stop the amazement.

The nerd walked into one of the walls and pressed something while looking at me with his gleeful eyes. Suddenly the ceiling opened up from the middle until the only thing that separates us from the blue sky was the clouds.

"We can start here, Kacchan," he said. "Are you ready for ninety percent?"

"I'm gonna try one hundred."

He looked at me in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty much."

"Have you done that before?"

"Not consciously, I guess. There's a first for everything."

He walked towards me and stood before me. He grabbed my hands and kissed them. With a soft voice, he said, "Don't push yourself too hard, okay. Just tell me if you need anything. I'm always listening."

I love the way his emerald eyes melted in the tenderness of his feeling, reminded me of the old times. We've been doing these cheesy romance things here and there, whenever we're alone, in the excuse of reminiscing our childhood days. And it also surprised me how well I responded to this.

I touched his face and pinched his used-to-be fat cheek that now was just freckled skin and bones. "I might head to space."

He kissed my palm and smiled. "I know you will, Kacchan." He leaned his head and landed a kiss on my lips. "Just make sure you come back." And kissed my hands again.

Oh, God, tell me again why I'm here?

I pushed him away to go changes into my hero costume—actually, the third prototype. It looks like something that an Evangelion character would wear but in black and orange. When I came back to the room, he was busy talking over the phone. But once he's done, the usual idiot smile shone brightly at me. "I never thought of how well the color would suits you, Kacchan."

"Just cut the crap and let me fly already."

He laughed and started doing something with his computer, while I took this chance to inhale as much oxygen as I could, and blew all of them in one breath. I opened my eyes. "Okay, I'm ready," I said.

He nodded. "Supernova's new costume third trial. Launched in three, two—"

I took off to the sky before he finished counting. The blue sky and fresh air in my face brought their happiness inside me as I feeling like a bird free to go with the wind. Then I started to counting up again: ten, twenty, thirty, I passed Mount Fuji and still head straight up ahead. Forty, fifty, sixty, I pierced through stacks of clouds until they were nowhere to be found. Seventy, eighty, I believe I just passed a flying jet and saw a satellite. Before the atmosphere pierced through my Foton barrier, I activate the helmed that immediately wrapped my head. Ninety, the images of my demon flashed through my mind, but I just shook them off and focus on the big, round plate that shines gloriously ahead. One hundred, I could feel the rush of every drop of my blood, the heat in my veins, and the burden in my chest lifted as I screamed my lungs out in the literal open space, I believe right outside the exosphere.

I cried, I laughed, I screamed. Dopamine has flown all over my body and the adrenaline rush never made me happier than this.

I feel like… I won. I won the battle that I fought with myself. I passed my own limit. I still conscious; _I'm_ in control.

I beat my own demon.

Just a little more pushed and I landed on the moon. As I stare at the green planet that I've been living in my whole life, I sat down slowly at the moon's surface and felt its dusty ground over my glove. Normally, a quirk-less human could only survive on the moon's atmosphere-less ground for thirteen minutes using a fully equipped space suit. But with his new tech on this costume and my Foton barrier? I could even live here forever. It felt surreal.

The nerd's voice suddenly buzzed through the transmitter. _"Kacchan, how was it? Where are you?"_

I couldn't stop my giggles. "It was great and I'm literally on the moon."

There was a big gasped for him to awe. _"Really? Oh my God, you did it!" Then he laughed happily, which also brought smiles to my lips. "So how's the moon? Is it beautiful?"_

"It's dusty."

"_Could you see the Earth from there?"_

"Yeah, and it's so beautiful." Like a marble made of sapphire fused with emerald. Like his eyes. "I couldn't imagine a planet this pretty has so many vicious people and dirty things inside."

"_But it's also beautiful, right? You haven't seen them in a different perspective yet."_

I giggled again. "Maybe you're right."

"_Hey, Kacchan, do you find God there?"_

"Other than satellites and cosmic junks, I don't know what I find, Nerd."

This time he's the one who laughed. _"If God really exists, though, what would you wish for?"_

"First, for you to shut the hell up and let me enjoy this sight."

"_Personally, I'd like to pray for world peace."_

He couldn't see it, but I frown my eyebrows deep and tried not to laugh.

"_Hey! I'm serious! It sounds so silly and naïve, but I really do wish for that. So in the future, there shouldn't be people that risking their lives as heroes to save others; we could trust others without fear being discriminated or harmed; and we could put our effort to maximize making the world a better place instead, like stopping the global warming or reinvented dinosaurs."_

I laughed at the last one.

"_Hey, you might wanna ride a Pterodactyl. You never know."_

"Yeah, sure, how utopian."

He laughed with me again_. "I know, right? So in the future, our children shouldn't have to go through the bleak times we called superhero vs villain era."_

I shrugged—again, not like he saw it anyway. "Yeah, but… humans were born evil. You can't hope for all of them to play along all the time."

"_I believe that humans were born innocent. They strayed from the path because they found no other way to survive. We just have to give them enough hope that there's always a good way to live."_

"Hope, huh? All Might was the symbol of hope. But when he died, the world peace also went into his grave."

"_That happened because he bore the title alone. Such a heavy burden shouldn't have carried by one person only. It's too heavy and too much, no matter how strong you are. Instead, we have to convince others that they also could do good on their own."_

"And that's how?"

I bet he also shrugged. _"I don't know. Doing what considered impossible before? Like, heroes and villains living together? Not only in the same society kinda way, but also under the same roof kinda way. Like, maybe, creating families."_

I snorted. "Yeah, keep dreaming, Nerd."

He laughed again not long after. _"Anyway, enjoy your time up there, Kacchan. I have something that I need to take care of. I'll come back to you again ASAP, but if you want to come back on your own, by all means, don't wait for me."_

"Shut up, Nerd. I do what I wanna do."

And after he said his goodbyes, I turned the transmitter off.

Now, should I take a nap first before I came back?

**.**

**.**

**.**

**#Kirishima's PoV**

**.**

"Once you read this file, you can't come back."

Detective Tsukauchi tense eyes stared at me from across the table while handling a map of documents. With sweats bigger than corn seeds, I opened the map and reading them page by page.

Six people, three men and three women, all above the age of twenty-five, and none of them are heroes. They are a normal civilian with normal jobs. Last seen in the public right after they finished their jobs and presumably heading home. The last person was reported missing three ago, a woman named Hajima Yuiko, after the partner she lived in with called her company to ask her whereabouts. But apparently the company themselves already contacting her for days but not getting any reply, so the partner decided to report her to the police.

After I examined each of the files, I could conclude that none of them has a relation to each other. They work in different types of works, had no familial relation whatsoever, and lived and work in different areas.

Anyone could assume that their missing was only a matter of coincidence, that it's a common thing for six random adults to go missing in a bewildering city like Tokyo. But apparently, Detective Tsukauchi's instinct told him the otherwise. He said, not because it's Tokyo that it's normal, but because it's Tokyo so it has unlimited possibilities. They could be kidnaped, killed, or just leisurely taking a break. But without contact for days? The oldest missing report was two months ago.

Something must've happened. Especially with villains raging on the street every day after Endeavor's death, every worst scenario could easily come to mind. But the exact same reason was the one who prevented the police force to investigate such small and trivial cases, because their hands are already full of protecting the citizen and helping the pro-heroes. So they asked me instead, the only hero above top ten Billboard Chart that was still on his leave after last month tragedy—other than Katsumi, of course. Best Jeanist holds onto her hero license and, honestly, I don't blame him.

I looked at Detective Tsukauchi. The lighting in this interrogation room was already dim, so he really doesn't need to add the tension with the tense expression. "What's your hypothesis?" I asked carefully.

"I think they were into something bad or get threatened by someone and they couldn't escape."

"Like villains?"

"Or yakuza."

I took a second to think. "If that's true, then this case is bigger than what two of us can handle."

"Yes. But we also need evidence, or else we can't ask for reinforcement."

I nodded. "Is it okay for me to access all of their private data using the police's network?"

For the first time after he entered this room, he smiled. "Of course. That's why I asked you to come here."

The next two days I spent in the police's archive lab, digging my nose under tons and tons of file and dove deep into the internet. Turned out all of these six people have committed some kind of crime in one way or another, but never big enough to be dragged to the court. Like Masada Shinji, an accountant that has a history of molesting one of his female coworkers. The victim reported this matter to the company, but because of the kind of harassment deemed by the company as 'wasn't that big of a deal', the case just got recorded without any actual action other than a warning letter to Masada.

Then there was the latest missing person, Hajima Yuiko, who once mistakenly input her company's income and expenses field trip data and got suspected for embezzlement. But the accusation has never been proven, so the case was never brought to the public. The other four were the same—the kind of crime anyone could commit out of human error, not too big, and nobody knows.

So, why were they gone? Their cases seem doesn't have any link to each other. Maybe something in their past?

I traced back their life until on their kindergarten days, when apparently most of them already lost their parents due to natural disaster or just caught-up in villains battle. They then brought up to an orphanage on the north side of Tokyo until they graduated from middle school. Each of them went to different schools, but one thing that got me surprised was once they graduated, they were gone for a year before entering high school.

No record on what could happen at those times. One thing that I know for sure was, even though they also went to different high schools in totally different areas, they had the same benefactor: Midoriya Medical Corp, which provided their tuition and living expenses until they graduated.

What? Midoriya…?

The name sounds hella familiar but I just didn't know what to expect.

When I searched the company on Google, Wikipedia explained to me that the company was a Japan-based surgical company that revolved around experimentation and science development. But thirteen years ago they moved their base to Germany and changed their name to Grünwich Surgical Inc., and the Japan-based was shut down. Today, the remaining hospitals and labs were left unattended, somewhere in Yamanashi.

Found what it seemed to be the dead end, I randomly search for any living relation of the Midoriyas that I could interview. It seems that the one who actually has the Midoriya name, Mrs. Midoriya Inko, had died from complications, while her husband Harrold Grünwich or Midoriya Hisashi never came back to Japan after his wife died. And their only children, Midoriya Izuku, was apparently the green-haired guy that I saw kissing Todoroki Shouko at Endeavour's funeral, and the one that somehow had a connection to Katsumi.

The result brought dread down my spine like I know the end of the tunnel was close.

Their company seemed legit, but everyone knows that a big company always hides something fishy. I tried to access the Midoriya Medical Corp.'s website—heck, even tried to hack it—but like the company itself, they already been shut down. When I opened the new Grünwich Surgical Inc., they were all in Germany and I just gave up at that point.

Okay, so I need someone from that family to interview. And looking at the family data, the only one approachable was the son of the family and CEO of Inko Inc., Midoriya Izuku. But such a big shot would be hard to approach, especially for a hero that working on a small underground mission from the police.

I immediately called Katsumi even though I wasn't sure what to say. Should I just straight up ask her about her date? No, that would be too suspicious. I bet Detective Tsukauchi also didn't want anyone outside this case to know what happened.

"_The number you are calling is out of reach—"_

And she didn't answer the call anyway.

Now, what should I do?

**.**

**.**

**.**

**#Izuku's PoV**

**.**

I closed the call with Kacchan and opened an iron door. In a white room that has little furniture in it, Shigaraki sat on the corner, looking bored as usual, grumpily commentating on why we have to be in an ex-hospital building so deep in the middle of nowhere just because someone tried to hack my old company's website. Toga-chan came to me gleefully as I was taking off my clothes. She put those fake-surprised face and asked, "Say, Darling, will you also strip those pants?"

And I just laughed,"Ahaha, no." I gave my clothes in her hands then turned around.

On one side of this room was a glass wall so thick it was made unbreakable, heat-resistant, and bulletproofed—separating us from a giant room that was meant to cremation. I watched Iida and a few of my men moving dead bodies into the room, one after another, while sipping a glass of red wine from behind this glass wall. Once they have done, I told them they did a good job and asked them to leave.

I put the wine glass onto a tray that Toga-chan holds, walked out the room, and greeted Dabi that stood in the hallway while leaned on the wall. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked me.

"There's only one way to find out." I opened the door that leads to the cremation room. The smell of decomposed bodies pierced through my nose immediately.

"Endeavor took years of training to master his quirk."

"Don't worry. I got his son to teach me." I smiled mockingly at him. He took a deep sigh as he rolled his eyes and mumbled, "He's not my father anymore…." And I continue as I started entering the room, "And this kind of quirk was supposed to be mine anyway—if only my father didn't use me as his guinea pig."

He scoffed. "Whatever, Bro. Just don't burn yourself."

I shut the door and it automatically locked. I eyed the mirror wall and behind that Shigaraki, Toga-chan, and Iida-kun were looking at me in anticipation. I walked to the middle of the room, where ten bodies, without either brain or heart, laid on the floor.

Then I started to concentrate my mind—Dabi said to try imagining fire emerge from within me. Slowly but surely I felt my blood boils, my insides burn, and sweat falling down my body like rain. I took a deep breath as I tried to organize my heartbeat. And when I think I was ready, I opened my eyes and hellfire breathe out from my mouths, burning those bodies one by one to ashes.

I could hear Toga-chan squeaked in excitement and said how similar I was to a dragon. As the fire burns the room on its own, I laughed internally to the thought of someone ever compare me to such majestic and beautiful being like a dragon.

I'm no dragon. I never was. The noble creature was meant to be the symbol of someone so pure and brave, not a cunning coward that slither their way out of the darkness. If anything, I'd like to call myself a poisonous serpent. I love the idea so much I even faced my back to the glass wall and looked behind my shoulder, so I could see a green serpent over a dagger that tattooed along my spines.

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**TO BE CONTINUE**

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Hi, it's Lee Audrey!

Whew! The story got intense out of a sudden!

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE THESE THREE'S POINT OF VIEWS! I JUST GOT IN SO MUCH PRESSURE!

I always find it hard to write with Kirishima's PoV. I mean… he's a guy, so he obviously has a different way to see the world than a depressed and lonely young woman like me. And I just couldn't find the best way to describe and narrate the depth of a man's thought without making it feels similar to Katsumi's. (or maybe… I just tired to picture him as a sad boy.) So, in the end, I tried to write him as a cute baby boy he is.

On the contrary, I love writing with Katsumi's PoV because it almost the same as using mine.

But I still had to write this chapter with his PoV (and also Izuku's) to improve the story…. So, yeah…. That's where my writer-block came from. I'm so sorry for the delay….

**(I just hope you could feel the difference between their PoVs. Tell me if you feel—or not feeling—anything. Please.)**

And yeah I'm so bias when it comes to GoT. I'm not sorry about this.

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**Izuku's Quirk(s) Reveal:**

**Villain name:**** Skyfall  
****Quirk(s): All for One **(and others that he absorbed)**  
**Personality: Yandere/psychopath (but can build emotions limited to Katsumi only)  
Izuku's Tattoo:  
Snake: duality, death, rebirth, danger  
Sword: solidarity, protection, honor, inner strength, force, justice, courage, leadership, aggression, and chivalry

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Random info: Moriuchi Takahiro is One OK Rock's vocalist. I also love him.

**I do really suggest you to open this fiction AO3 version, because I inserted some pictures that I can't insert here.  
(July, 12****th**** 2002)**

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